Federal judges who send people to American concentration camps for draconian sentences for choosing what to put into their own bodies for recreational drugs, a crime with no victims, have been found to have violated the law against conflicts of interest. Some of them have admitted it and with excuses, like was their “staff’s fault” or a “computer error” by some program that isn’t responsible for their legal obligations or “it’s OK that I broken the law because the stocks lost money anyway”. It’s funny (in a non-humous way) that these judges give excuses like these, but never accept them from the poor or middle class defendants who appear in their court rooms. For those alleged law breakers we get principles like: “ignorance of the law is no excuse” and “zero tolerance”. For platinum card holders, like these judges, we get “too rich to be expected to keep track of all their stocks”. [efn_note]Dangor, Graison[/efn_note]
Laws and punishments do not apply to the wealth and well-connected (aka “platinum justice” card holders).
The more I interact with Nebraskans and the more that I watch their local news, the more they nauseate me. What disgusting, hypocritical people. I have come to hate them and their blight upon the world with a passion I haven’t had about anything else to date. They are like roaches scurrying around stupidly, grabbing whatever isn’t nailed down, without principle or focus, destroying the accomplishments of other organisms to parasitically sustain themselves. We need to build a giant roach motel for them.
Wingate: (1) lied multiple times about being “very close to work release” when he really had no idea or more likely did know, segue to: (2) “lost” my work release application, and (3) ignored the approval that I had for a second personal pass from the case manager.
My bunkmate, Zack, told me he was here on arson charges. Somehow, he skipped a real prison, which means he got some preferred or platinum level justice. In this fucked-up home of devils, you get worse punishment for private recreational substance use in the privacy of your own home than for real crimes that deprive others of their life, liberty, or property. Scummy Nebraskans.
Called DP, but that old bastard clicked to decline my call. There was some show today about how hundreds of people die or go blind every year from consuming adulterated alcohol.
[Editor’s Note: I asked the author to search a couple photo sites to find a close representation of the state of rot that the lettuce served on June 18th. He said he could not find one quite like it. The lettuce he described had a wet sheen from being slimy and there were small amounts of brown liquid pooling underneath the lettuce onto the plate.]
Fri, 1 Jun 2018 [246 + 484]
Woke up in a good mood. Yeah, that’s why. 🙂 Relapse class was OK. Just matched a movie about triggers and urges and turned in own relapse plans.
CT is so yummy. I should tell him back that I want him. As soon as we’re alone in the room.
Sat, 2 Jun 2018 [247 + 483]
CT saw a spider in his locker. Hope there is not a nest. Told UCW Wesson that we had a mutant spider, so we might need some action on it.
Someone stole a bunch of tokens from my locker while I was walking on the track yesterday. CT was acting weird about it too, I thought. My fault – I need to remember to keep my locker locked and forget about stupid shit and just focus on reading and getting out of here.
Sun, 3 Jun 2018 [248 + 482]
Woke up in the middle of the night and the whole room smelled like a sewer. Couldn’t go back to sleep for quite a while.
Woke up again in a bad mood. I think it’s because it feels now like the whole “want you” thing was some kind of play. I’m not sure if that’s why but definitely in a bad mood this morning.
Wrote to JH, TF, JH, B, and mom yesterday. Wrote mom to say that I talked to DP yesterday and he had confirmed that JG would do the computer things and Google Voice setup. Wrote B to say “Happy Birthday, Old Lady”. She replied back a few times with the usual birthday-related banter.
Going to try and get some reading done today. Dumpster Fire Trump has corrupted the whole US political system and 38% of voters. It’s like 1920s Italy. A buffoon of a person becomes becomes the leader and marches gaily toward incompetence and grift.
Talked to dad. HE said they got about 2/3 of the way through the rafters and OJ is going to help him all week as he quit his job. That’s probably good so Dad isn’t working by himself while mom travels this week.
Been very crabby all day. I ate some rice and beans and sausage from my locker. It’s so disgusting. I feel awful – mind and body. The track was closed so I walked around the center of the campus a few times and took a shower.
Mon, 4 Jun 2018 [249 + 481]
Bland large group today. Allmendinger was there instead of Fallin. Short discussion about NDCS’s new porn rule (can’t have it anymore) and the stupidity and miserableness of the rule. Also learned that some room got written up for having mold on their desk.
Have an MCC class at 1:15pm. Not sure what the class is yet. … The class was employment readiness. The instructor was friendly and down-to-earth. She is a two-time felon and a long list of misdemeanors, she said. I think she will be helpful for what I’m looking for: knowing how to apply for jobs after I leave this concentration camp and hopefully on work release as well.
Fairgood was at our CAT II class – she’s a bit of a bitch, too, it seems. The room/unit rumor-mill says that she had a child with an inmate – a violation of rules, professional ethics, and is basically rape, since the inmate is disallowed from giving consent (ha). Then here she is lecturing on the importance of following all the rules, big and small. In every content, there are people who are required to follow the rules, big and small. In prison, the inmates are required and punished over the pettiest of rules, but the guards and staff do not (sanitation rules are regularly discarded; guards don’t pay for their lunches in the kitchen; the morbidly obese kitchen lady (Sally) eats food right over the serving trays so the spill from her shoveling food into her gaping maw falls back into the serving trays; the list goes on and on). Outside of prison, poor people, black people, liberals are charged with crimes for private recreational drug use, while the wealthy attorney general buys murder drugs illegally and it’s not a problem. Nationally, the same rule that gave Martha Steward 10% of a punishment is practiced freely by politicians.
I want to talk to CT again, but we haven’t been alone since the other day.
Cows produce up to 600L of methane per year – as much as an automobile! They have some Archaea called methanogens, that produce it in their stomach.
Walked for about 45 minutes.
Tue, 5 Jun 2018 [250 + 480]
25 scaramuccis down, 48 to go.
Getting sick apparently and/or maybe. Started feeling shitty yesterday afternoon – cough, sore throat (back of throat), back of nasal area, etc. Took some Vitamin C last night and went to bed really early. Tried to sleep in but AR (who is having same symptoms) was up early cleaning with heavy bleach and making a lot of noise. Took some more of CT’s Vitamin C.
“Nebraska: Come on vacation; Leave on Probation”
Relapse class was uneventful. Bless was there, but she kept her stupid hold closed, to her credit.
Had monthly meeting with UCM Carroll. The only topic I had was to ask about receiving my HSA check here and sending it back to mom. She said I could send it out with an inmate check.
Had 1:1 with Allmendinger. Talked about how to deal with bad things on on in the room. Talked about recovery programs after prison (AA/NA vs. SMART) and the “Sober for Good” book by Anne Fletcher. Also talked about what I did at [employer] and [employer] and how I might have to get a temporary job on parole.
Signed someone’s petition about room changes being disallowed. Almost (accidentally) stole their pen.
CT had several wisdom teeth pulled. He’s so beautiful and funny.
Trump holds a “Celebrating of America” event at the WH. I’m pretty sure that’s in the Fascism playbook. Ach Tung!
Wed, 6 Jun 2018 [251 + 479]
Ate the shitty breakfast at 7am because I couldn’t sleep (noisy, freezing room) and as per usual, it sucked. Wednesdays are supposed to be B-E-C sandwich, but there was only E(gg). No lactose-free milk for cereal and I forgot to grab a cup for the only good thing in the kitchen – the juice machine.
Community meeting quiet and stupid. The dumbest bitch in Omaha, and our own resident crack whore, was not there today.
Got an email from KP saying she’d been busy at work, but wanted to say hi.
Thu, 7 Jun 2018 [252 + 478]
Another day. Fuck Susan Strong – a pox on her evil, rotten soul and may her body and mind decompose while she’s still alive.
Had to go to Programs at 905 to sign the SSN request form. They also needed a copy of my Nebraska ID.
CAT II class was a waste of time, as intended. Watched a movie that seemed to be identical to almost all the others that we’ve watched, but with a different face pasted into the video stream.
Large group was also the usual stupid. Allmendinger was there in lieu of the vacationing Masturbator Fallin. P announced that he would no longer be group representative because he has an MCC class at that time. They tried to nominate me but I resisted lightly. Graham said hew as going to talk to Fallin when he returned and see what they came up with.
Joke about the power of prayer: Man walks through the plains and encounters a price of lions. Assuming he is about to be eat he prays, “Lord, please give these lions some Christianity”. The lions, seeing that lunch has walked up to them start a prayer: “Lord, thank you for this meal you have laid before us.”
They brought some unhygienic dogs onto the unit to search room 10 and then dumped out the trash cans and left the trash laying on the floor. Charrlin, new guy, McKon.
Fri, 8 Jun 2018 [253 + 477]
Anthony Bourdain (1956 – 2018)
Watched a movie in Relapse class – the one guy who tells addiction jobs – Lindholm or something like that. It was OK, but 80% of these movies are exactly the same with a different face and mouth moving. Only 10 classroom days left of this phase.
Turned in the second set of items on the third treatment plan yesterday evening. Should get the final setup of items for this plan on Jun 12th. Sounds like there will be a fourth plan, at least.
Sat, 8 Jun 2018 [254 + 476]
Woke up to G, JH, and the guy with the orange shirts (who shouldn’t be in our room) talking gang stuff out the window. Apparently by AR and BP agreed. AR confronted him (G) directly and BP bitched about it after they all left the room.
Watching documentary “Great Civilizations of Africa” with Dr. Gates. Axum, Meroc, Nubia, Egypt, Berber, Lalibella (sculptured churches). Queen of Sheeba (Yeha) – Solomon began Menolich (?) -> Aximite Dynasty legend. Ethiopia. Christian in 350AD. 700-year dynasty. Henry Lewis Gates – support@worldchannel.org
Seems most of the room dislikes G as much as I do.
[Redacted: a serious medical issue of a roommate that the “medical” staff here refused to help with because it results from an activity that’s prohibited here and so shouldn’t be a problem]. Any legitimate medical licensing authority would never give these people a license to practice nursing or medicine. I guess that tells us what we need to know about Nebraska.
Sun, 10 Jun 2018 [255 + 475]
One-third of the way through June already. Good! Woke up around 630am to the sound of G getting drug-tested – arguing with the cop about getting his jacket. Hope he fails.
Excited about episode 2 of FX’s Pose tonight. Updated my resume for the MCC class.
CNN coined “news fatigue” – what that’s exactly what I’ve felt like lately. They’re right though – this is the worst time to have it since Fat Donnie is making such a mess at an unprecedented pace. Trump administration begins (or continues) assault on the free press by tapping a phone of a reporter and seizing years of data.
“I worry more about people thinking like machines than about machines thinking like humans.” – Tim Cook on CNN interview.
Mon, 11 Jun 2018 [256 + 474]
Large group – boring, get stuck with the group representative role. Have to go to council meeting every Wednesday at 8am.
Apparently, hottie T was caught doing K2 int he bathroom last night and confessed to it. I don’t think he was liekly to last anyway, It was probably good to fail early.
CAT II sucked as usual. Ownership stance and some dumbass diagram with cogs… so many half-baked metaphors about machines, mechanics, and gears. I lost 12 IQ points by attending class today.
Lockdown at 9:45am because of severe weather. They did a count at 10am and we’re still stuck here at 11:15am and no let-up on the horizon. They didn’t even take the kitchen workers yet, so probably lunch will be late too. Dogshit (“Salisbury”) Steak anyway.
Talked to SP about his being denied medical treatment by the prison “doctor”. They said he’d received one 7 years ago and implied he wasn’t “eligible” for another one. I told him he should insist on the test and I could help him write something to prod them along on their troubled path toward professionalism. Ridiculous!
Had another lockdown in the middle of count lockdown because of several weather – so we’re in some kind of weird lockdown stacked another lockdown. It seems that there are a bunch of tornadoes in Omaha area. I hope they take out the whole God-damned shithole state full of only degenerates, liars, crooks, thieves – and then you have the ones inside the prison.
While out for pill call, CT found a frog and put it in SP’s pillow. They thought it was hilarious. He didn’t notice until they pretty much were laughing their ass off pointing at his pillow. After that they let the frog go out the door. Then they went out and got it again and tied a note to it saying “Fuck you, bitch” for the female guard to see and open, which she did. Like Queen Victoria, I was not amused.
Tue, 12 Jun 2018 [257 + 473]
Another day in Hell, Nebraska. Room inspections at 8:30am. Fuck Nebraska.
Relapse I was kind of good today. Met in C-wing watch and watched a short video about relapse, by Hazelton (I think) and then an “uncomfortable” discussion about alternative recovery programs and even splinter groups with a program (meth-only NA groups, women-/men-only AA or NA groups, etc). I asked why that conversation should be uncomfortable. No answer was given, but it was good discussion anyway.
Finished the “Sober for Good” book in a rapid-read fashion. It was a good book in that it exposed as false a lot of state-disseminated propaganda about relapse and recovery (also, pop-culture reinforced). Moderation has been an option for many who self-identified with alcohol problems (no mention of drugs in the book). In fact most people who self-identify with an alcohol problem, solve the problem themselves with moderation and some even solve it themself by abstinence. That path rarely gets any press.
Wed, 13 Jun 2018 [258 + 472]
Woke up early. Made the mistake of going to the kitchen for breakfast. Thought it might be worth going because it was supposed to be egg-cheese toast day and they always have one decent thing – juice. But no, no fucking juice and no toast and as usual no fucking lactose-free milk. There was an egg-cheese-cardboard sandwich, no juice, and dry cereal with no milk. There was an apple that wasn’t – yes, you heard it right – WAS NOT rotten.
Resident Council was total waste of time. We discussed a few things at 8am (only 3 room inspections/week instead of 5; allow stuff on the top of lockers; bolting beds to the wall, and provide inmates with the medicines that they need). At community meeting, Ellinger gave a response to the first three in rapid-fire: No, No, No. The last one – about providing necessary medicines – was a slower No. In RC, we discussed writing a letter to the ACLU.
SP got into a minor argument with the Gestapo guard Pat (the canteen guy). Really it was just SP being a pain in the ass about what he wanted to have run up out of the $50 of shit he ordered with the $12 that he had. Pat was making selections for him as SP wasn’t communicating what he wanted until after Pat already rung some items up. Finally Pat told SP, “no that’s it – I’m done with you.” It was pretty funny – the dumbest guy in the unit (maybe not really) vs the laziest and most curmudgeonly guy on the staff. I was rolling.
Tried to take two of the special order books back to the library, but it was closed. Lazy bastards. Oh – got books from mom last night. The 2018 Almanac, What’s the Matter with Kansas? and Unspeakable. Clown the Left of Me, Jokers to the Right is on order for delivery between July 2 and July 30.
Rot in Hell, Susan Strong. Fucking evil, hateful snatch. This state is pure evil from border to border. This is the 10th Circle that Dante didn’t know about.
Wes Craven’s “My Soul to Take” – some hot eye candy. Check it out.
American diplomat: “Kim Jung Un lifted Trump’s watch, wallet, and keys” HAHA
Thu, 14 Jun 2018 [259 + 471]
Another miserable Nebraskan day.
Nebraskan. adj. 1. a combination of hypocrisy and miserableness, as of behavior. Example: “It was very Nebraskan of Susan Strong to snark a comment about justice as she delivered and unjust punishment for a private consensual behavior that is unjustly criminalized”.
Book title/thesis ideas: That’s Very Nebraskan Of You, Pit Stop: Nebraska; Journey through Nebraska; The Tenth Circle: Nebraska. Sub-titles: “A Memoir of Addiction and Captivity in the Prison State”.
Trump family – Fat Donnie and his adult children being civilly sued by the state of New York for using charity money for their own for-profit businesses and their political campaigns. Yahoo!
Inspector-General report on FBI/DOJ’s handling of the Clinton email case is due out today.
Trump also caught saluting a North Korean military general by N.K. press since he did it when US press was not present. What a dumpster fire – him and our country.
Inspector General report says Strok and Page were “a cloud” over the integrity of the FBI even though there was no bias to the investigation. Comey’s behavior was not politically biased; it was a departure from FBI/DOJ rules and norms to release info on a candidate on his own.
Giving Cloak and Dagger one more change.
Want to see Love Simon and Call Me By Your Name. The former was just advertised on DVD by Disney.
Returned two of the loaned library books: “Sober for Good” and “Theories of Justice”. The usual guy was gone. Left them with the inmate regular book checker-in – it was around 1402. For some reason I feel like I should have kept them and turned them in when the regular guy was back. Ofc Stone was in the librarian’s office.
Submitted order for books from Edward Hamilton Booksellers, CSI, and Keefe.
Michael ?, Trumps’ biographer: “Anything sleezy, Trump will find a way to do it. He is the master of self-dealing”.
The pretend “wages” they pay to seem like it’s not Slavery. But the pay doesn’t even cover your OTC medicines or hygiene products that you need.
Fri, 15 Jun 2018 [260 + 470]
Drug swab at 0615. This time the mouth swab worked for me – no rape by the rapist-guard. Again, JF and CT’s didn’t work, so they got the full Nebraska-treatment. I kept spitting onto the sensor – I’m sure there was some snot and immune system products on it.
26 scaramuccis down, 47 to go. I am “scheduled” for a doctor to look at the weird nodules under my armpit.
Report out today says you need to make at least $22/hr to afford a 2-bedroom apartment. The minimum wage is $7.25/hr.
Watching Ancient Aliens. It’s captivating, if nothing else.
Got the fourth book that I had requested in early June: C/C++ for Embedded Systems. The guy suggested that it might not be possible to get an extension on the abstractions book, so need to move forward with that ASAP.
Went to the get my medicine at 18:45. Watching the bi-monthly movie. This time it’s Black Panther.
Sat, 16 Jun 2018 [261 + 469]
Manafort moved to the VIP section of Virginia jail. Must be nice to be able to afford platinum justice.
More title ideas: Petty State: Nebraska or State of Injustice: Nebraska or What’s the Matter with Nebraska?
Sun, 17 Jun 2018 [262 + 468]
Liver and onions for lunch – fucking Nebraskans. forgot to mention about the dismal food hygiene this week: 2 to 3 days of rotten lettuce for salad. It was the same lettuce three days in a row that got progressively more rotten until on the third day it more resembled a brown broth with slimy green chunks. They should have used a souple ladle instead of salad tongs: it would have passed easier as a chunky soup than a salad.
More drug business going on in the room. G and JH seem to be selling it, if they are to be taken at their own word. Last night the whole room was in a hot and bothered state as they discussed drug use and sales. Even BP, who claims he is here for alcohol, was talking about doing coke. I think JF was asleep actually. I was trying to read the Embedded C book. G is such a degenerate. He was talking about starting an underage, underground bar to capitalize on underage alcohol dollars. WTF!?!? He was questioning why no one had thought of that before.
Unit rumor says Captain Strode has been spreading rumors that this program will be changing to 90 days. Probably part of their disinformation campaign, a.k.a. lying.
Germans say in speech that they no longer have confidence that US is a partner for Western values. HAHA. They’re way behind on that realization.
The guys who went to dinner said they served undercooked chicken. The chicken was raw – even had blood-juice when you cut into it (JH). They told Foster but he said it was OK. JH says he’s feeling sick now. Glad I skipped dinner.
I’m really loving Pose. Looks like CT is watching it on SP’s TV too. He’s definitely an enigma. I can’t tell if he’s interested or trying to play me for some kind of game.
Mon, 18 Jun 2018 [263 + 467]
Large group pretty boring today. Three people graduating. Good riddance. That one tall kid is soooo dumb. It’s not even funny.
Wrote another IIR to medical about the tumor under my armpit.
Tue, 19 Jun 2018 [264 + 466]
Raining like a mofo here this morning – bad enough that they closed the campus. Got a 930 pass to medical.
Nurse acknowledged the nodule, but couldn’t say what it was or is. She said she would have a doctor look at it next week. [Redactions]
Went over relapse prevention plans in Relapse class. Left half-way through for the medical appointment.
Lunch was a chef salad, but the lettuce was the same rotten, slimy lettuce that they have been trying to offload for a week now. Porker Touty was the food service manager who was supervising the slime salad distribution. The server just shrugged and mouthed “sorry” when I gave a look of despair and anger over the slime soup salad (today it was the main meal – not a side item). I wrote an information grievance and mentioned all the unhygienic food of the last two weeks: (1) the roadkill (undisclosed animal liver/tissue, (2) the uncooked chicken from Sunday that JH even reported to Porkier FSM Foster, who just shrugged, (3) the rotten slimy salad from the whole last week, and (4) the slimy, rotten lettuce from today. I told them I mistook it for brown soup and gave a hint that iceberg lettuce is supposed to be green. Turned it into UCM Carroll (under her door – she wasn’t here today).
Sociopath roommate G talked more at 11am count about his plot to get “bitches” hooked on his drugs so he could do whatever to them. He said he would give them stuff really strong – “might even kill them”. OMG. He’s Nebraska native – so that makes sense. Even their love and sex has strong elements of violence and control.
Turned in the Algorithms book to the library at 12:32pm. I actually passed by the black guy that runs the loan desk and he said the library was closed, but that he would take it. I also asked if they had a date for the return of the Embedded C book yet and he said yes, he thought it was July 4th or something like that.
Wed, 20 Jun 2018 [265 + 465]
Went to breakfast because I heard there were good breakfast taquitos. They were just OK, but there was no juice again. There was a rotten banana offered and Sog Flakes – OK and some miscellaneous grease sponge. I’m not sure what it was intended to be.
Raining again. Supposed to get good doughnuts this morning at 8-9am for being write-up free for 90 days from the SAU staff, but might be cancelled because Nebraskan bakers apparently don’t work when it rains. That was their excuse for not keeping their word: “No doughnuts because of the rain”. Well, we did get some two-day old cake. That’s the value of a Nebraskan’s commitment/word.
The June class graduated today, including JF from our room.
The asshole from the canteen, Pat, would not accept my book order. Why? He is too fat and lazy to walk the paper back to the Canteen Manager’s (Chris) office. He said to come back Friday when Chris was there. This is, of course, a repeatedly-used tactic. They say “come back later” and then when you come back later, they refuse you entry because it’s not your canteen day. They did the same thing to JF last week. He went to canteen at the regular time and Pat told him the money hadn’t posted fully yet and to come back right before 10am. JF went back at 945 and Pat had closed early. JF came back and had the unit staff call and they said “come back after lunch with the next unit’s group”. He did that and Pat told him “go away. this is not your canteen time”. I’m baffled as to whether there is some over-arching strategy with that kind of disturbing behavior or just the normal behavior of people among themselves in Nebraska.
Thu, 21 Jun 2018 [266 + 464]
Large group was decent – just talked about some trite ethical dilemmas.
Texas sheriff or deputy caught molesting children and threatening them with deportation action if they came forward. Those are some Texas values. [Editor’s Note: Bexar County (TX) Deputy Jose Nunez]
First lady visiting Texas immigrant internment camps.
Some more book title ideas: Nanny State Nebraska: A Memoir of Addiction and Red-State Justice. Uhh … not nearly snarky enough. Maybe sub-title: Addiction, Hypocrisy, and Red-State Justice or Addiction, Hypocrisy and the Facade of Justice.
BP just told the story of some guy was selling $50 bottles of water with the feature that the water tastes like hot dogs. Ummm…. gross. SP said “I would just steal some since he’s trying to charge so much. That’s some Nebraskan morality and sense there.
SP was just beaten bloody by JF in the room. It had the look for their usual horseplay/battered spouse act until blood spurted out on the hanger or strap that JF was beating him with. Then five minutes later SP was laughing and joking with him again. I feel like I should have intervened, but I’m sure I would just have been beaten or killed since he doesn’t “like” me the same way he “likes” SP. I told SP before to try saying “I don’t want to play like this,” but he refuses to take any part in stopping this. Am I being a blame-the-victim asshole? Maybe I should talk to Allmendinger and get his advice/help. He used to be a prisoner before becoming a counsellor. Of course, JF leaves Monday – the safest tactic for all is probably just wait him out.
Forgot to write yesterday that SP changed his sheets for the first time since we’ve been in SAU (that anyone had seen). The room made fun of that in unison but as he put the new sheet on, there was a huge blood and shit-colored stain (like a 5-6 inch radius one) in the center of the sheet that had been washed out a few times, but clearly still there. Now it has the large, washed-out blood+shit stain and today’s fresh blood stains.
Check from Optum Bank arrived finally, but it was only $848.56. I guess there is a substantial penalty for taking money out of an HSA account! Or else they did some fancy accounting to relieve me of the other $400-ish that should have been in the account. Rude bitch Bennet was like “sign it NYOW!” She is gross. I hate Nebraska and Nebraskans. If the arc of the universe truly bends toward justice, Susan Strong should have a real hellish nightmare coming.
Fri, 22 Jun 2018 [267 + 463]
Peaches and cream oatmeal from my oatmeal variety pack for breakfast. I hate oatmeal, but with a gob of peanut butter it’s a good alternative to food poisoning in the kitchen. And the peaches and cream is pretty damn good. Watching CNN and King of Queens. Every time I see that annoying-ass Haribo Gold candy commercial, I want to murder someone. See what living in Nebraska can do to a person? [PS In case I’m dead by the time anyone reads this, this was a joke. No murder, but maybe just a shank in the liver.] [PPS this commercial really is atrocious though] [PPPS I’m definitely going crazy.]
Relapse class was another video from FMS on some topic that I can’t even remember now. Whatever it was, it agitated KM. He started getting angry about the video, but we quickly it returned to his own situation. Even though we’re 4 months into a 6-month program, he’s become obsessed in the last two weeks about why they made him take this program at all. About two weeks ago, he asked me for help writing a grievance and then an IIR about why he thought they were treating him unfairly. I couldn’t make heads or tails what his logical argument was. He is dumb as a bag of hair. I told him to try the legal aid people – that they might understand his issues better (they get some compensation from talking people through their stupid ideas).
Anyway, he’s been harassing the SAU staff yelling and repeating his word salad of non-sequiturs and other incoherent ramblings. We heard one episode of it in room 4 yesterday between him and Graham. Then I saw him standing outside UCM Carroll’s office several times recently – no doubt he’s been assaulting her with this weapon of Stupid too. Today they kicked him out of the program. So he got part of what he wanted – out of the program, but not out of the recommendation, so he’s still on the hook for the program as far as the parole board is concerned.
Got pictures from mom yesterday. Been staring at them all day. I love the view – it’s magnificent! The brick looks really good as well. Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers to the Right book arrived.
On Monday, had the Employment Assistant class from MCC. Marji is the instructor. She is a two-time felon and along list of misdemeanors. She is very nice, but kind of crazy. I like her. She made me four copies of my resume. She was reading out words that are desirable qualities for employers. She didn’t really know them all herself, but had an answer key. But some of them were just wrong. Also I explained how the resumes are used in professional openings, at least. It’s a laid-back and fun class, but other than the copies of my resume and something different to get out of the bunk, probably won’t be terribly useful. Next week we’re going over cover letters and letters of recommendation. I can see how this would be very helpful for that average prisoner that doesn’t have a lot of work history.
Last class of this course is next Monday (the 25th of June). Then a four-week keyboarding class starting Tuesday, July 10th.
Skipped dinner at the E-Coli Corral. They were having meatballs on rice. 100% of the previous offerings of this atrocity, the rice was not all cooked. For every grain of rice that was cooked correctly, there were three that were CRUNCHY!. Whether the crunch came from lack of being cooked or because it was really some other substance with only the shape and color of rice, I couldn’t say without laboratory tools. The meatballs are usually gamey-tasting, like when you eat an animal that has been foraging in the woods or, Occam’s Razor, was regular beef that sat a week too long on the “Eat Today” bin at the local supermarket.
I did eat lunch there, foolishly. The fish was not the nuggets that we had been getting recently, which are decent. Those have evidence of a bit of actual fish. Instead it was the square grease patty type, where if you cut them and view a cross section, you can see the thick outer layers of fried grease and then an approximately 1-mm thick white paste that is allegedly fish product. If we assume that’s true, it doesn’t matter because after you peel off the fried grease layer to discard, the 1mm of alleged protein has been lost to the separation process. I am thankful that I had left money with mom and that they are willing and have the means to help me with money if/when that runs out. I can’t imagine being dependent on the “food” they provide here for nutrition. This food is certainly Cruel and Unusual, but we don’t pay attention to those old words anymore. The mac and cheese was edible, but dubious nutritional value. The tarter sauce packet had an expiration date of 28 May 2018. Usually the tartar sauce is in a big tote that we scoop out of so that no one but the kitchen staff knows how expired it is.
Humor for my first Facebook post when I get out: “I’m baaaaack! Mixed news from “reprogramming” in Nebraska. They didn’t cure my love for meth, but I am now straight, Republican, and hate everyone who doesn’t look just like me.” (I guess those last two are redundant.)
Sat, 23 Jun 2018 [268 + 462]
Another black kid, Antwon Rose, executed by East Pittsburgh police; an 18yo honor student shot in the back as he ran from the sociopathic cops. [Editor’s Note: Michael Rosfeld was the officer who murdered Rose. He was not held accountable.] The nation is in severe denial about it’s addiction to guns and murder.
Had breakfast with KM. He sat next to me and I pretended to not know that he had been kicked out yesterday; mostly because I didn’t want to listen to his stupidity. Too bad! I had to listen to it anyway. One thing I did hear from him that was new was that he had knowledge that we had to take responsibility for our “crime”. I have some great ideas about that.
Forgot to mention Friday that I caught Allmendinger about the handouts for the assignments. Since he skipped our June 12 appointment, I am now behind. He said “don’t worry about it”. What a goddamn incompetent boob.
Sarah Sanders kicked out of a Virginia restaurant for being part of the Trump administration. Ha. That is hilarious. Guess the owner had a strongly-held religious belief about performing services for evil people. Last week, Kirstjen Nielsen booed at a Mexican restaurant. That’s great. The Sarah Sanders restaurant was “The Red Hen”. It’s funny how they wring their hands about how uncivil our society has become and we need to learn to live together and be civil. These are people who have built up a civil war for the last 50 years – the Drug War. They murder, cage, and otherwise ruin lives in order to disenfranchise and make money from the misery of their poor and black people and political minorities and then cry about how about uncivil society has become if they’re booed or kicked out of a fancy restaurant.
This room is full of deviants. G(AT) is a stone-cold sociopath. He’s described on many occasions beating woman just for the fun of it, getting them addicted to various drugs so he can make money off them, and abusing them physically and sexually. He has discussed killing people for fun or to steal from them. Once or twice, you could believe it was just prison puffery, but he says this stuff every day. He is also a narcissist of the worst kind.
Even JH has some creepy stories: like tonight he talked about driving around with the guy called H (who was on this unit until like a month ago) and shooting people who didn’t have something they could rob from them. One, apparently, was a basketball player who they later laughed at when he came back and said they had shot his leg and ended his basketball options.
Today JF drew two dicks on SP’s back while he was asleep. When SP woke up, he drew one on JF’s pillow. Then while we were at dinner, JF drew a whole bunch of them all over SP’s state sheets – ruined them for good. He then threatened to “knock out SP’s last two teeth” if SP retaliated. There was another threat of some “going away” violence for SP’s tomorrow (JF leaves Monday thankfully).
Few other technologies are judged by their worst-case use. What if we judged guns or dynamite or airplanes or Viagra or lube or politics or automobiles or nicotine, etc. by their worst-case use, like we do recreational drugs?
Sun, 24 Jun 2018 [269 + 461]
Slept in until 845. Love Sunday morning CNN – Jake, Fareed, and Brian Stelter. Replied to an email from B. Downtown Abbey today at 3pm and Pose at 8pm on FX.
George Takei on Reliable Sources comparing Trump’s Internment Camps to the 1940s American Internment Camps for Americans with Japanese ancestry.
Today’s “chicken sausage” came with a posted warning “may contain some pork by-product”. WTF!?!? Nebraskans are filth.
Seems like there is a rash of similar medical issues in here. cysts (AT on his neck, CT on his left hand) and lots of stomach/gastrointestinal issues (cramps, puking, diarrhea, etc.). Need to gather more data.
Mon, 25 Jun 2018 [270 + 460]
Large Group – listened to the sociopath in the orange shorts talk for 45 minutes about his daughter and her mother and how he got custody. That had to be a judge with no common sense – wonder if it was Susan Strong. I guess Nebraskans with no common sense is the norm. He talked about how spiteful the “baby mama” is/was and how he was learning lessons here, but didn’t mention at any point why he wanted custody of his daughter (i.e. that he loved her or that is custody of her would be in some way good for her…) or that he’s actually still doing drugs here in the SAU program and hangs around the most sociopathic person that I’ve ever encountered in my time on this Earth: AT.
27 scaramuccis down, 46 to go!
The dayroom, breakfast sink, clean water tap, and the microwave are all closed from 8-9am and again in the afternoon for “cleaning” even though there is no one cleaning it, except for about 15 minutes, once a day. Just Nebraska miserableness.
Melania Trump is one useless bitch. Just a mindless womb for Satan’s offspring.
Allmendinger wants to have individual treatment after Resident’s Council on Wed.
Last day of Criminal & Addictive Stupidity class! Hallelujah!
Walgreens pharmacist denies a women miscarriage medication to expel a dead fetus instead her because of the pharmacist’s religious beliefs. [Editor’s note: the misogynistic, fascist Walgreen’s pharmacist was: Brian Hreniuc. It is legal in Arizona for a pharmacist to deny a woman a legally prescribed drug].
More for the chapter on hypocrisy. Today’s video was on tactics, including the tactic of deceit. The viewing of the video was sponsored by the State of Nebraska, which regularly uses deceit, e.g. having an unreasonable search during a stop for a deceitfully labeled “seatbelt education checkpoint”. The cop (Brabec) couldn’t even keep a straight face while he said he was there to check that we were wearing our seatbelt. Then the State of Nebraska procures Midazolam (a murder drug) for non-therapeutic purposes; in fact they were planning to use it for Anti-Life (death penalty) purposes.
Criminal and Addictive Thinking is finally over! They fail to ever address the values/intent defects or the other structural issues that lead people to crime, so all they really do is make better criminals (and irritate the non-criminal captives). The ones who know the vocabulary and concepts can do a better job of concealing the signs of them in future crimes and legal proceedings.
Checklist of SAU Phase II Activities
Criticisms of CAT
(1) This material seems to be oriented exclusively toward people who were both real criminals (real, being an offense against the life, liberty, property of another or failing to fulfill your obligations to society) and addicts as opposed to people whose only “crime” is/was addiction or drug use.
(2) The material after page 70 initially started making me feel terrible, depressed even. Really depressed. It does a great job of making normal thinking fall into their distorted framework. This framework fails to account for its own use of the supposed negative thinking “techniques” and like all manipulations, it creates a safe-guard against such criticism of itself by declaring any challenge to it or identification of model bias or weakness as “denial”, the worst sin of all in such frameworks. This framework lacks the characteristic of refutability and thus belongs in the same class as opinion and religion.
(3) Whenever a prominent political figure is charged with a crime that his/her tribe considered trivial or the investigation of, was considered partisan, the statistic frequently comes up that the average American commits like three felonies every day, week, month, … (not sure what the time period of it is, but the point remains the same regardless). (Also, not sure of the source of this claim or its credibility, but it’s frequently tossed around by both sides of the political fence). But the average American is simply not under the crosshairs of the police and prosecutors. People who are: politicians, the decadently wealthy, minorities, immigrants, drug users, and others who live at the edges of the normal curve. If the statistic is true, one could just as easily draw the conclusion that any greater criminality uncovered in these groups is due to their above-average time being surveilled as opposed to being intrinsically more criminal by essence. Conversely, I met a lot of people while using drugs who fall into the center of the normal curve of behaviors and social tribes, who do drugs and commit no other crime (any real crime). An anecdotal example being the Wall Street tycoons famous for having a pocket full of powder cocaine who is NEVER stopped-and-frisked rising out of the subway stop while young black men are. Even if the Wall Street tycoon was caught, there is a 0% change one would be charged and go to prison.
(4) Modern medical practitioners agree in considerable numbers that a substance use disorder is a form of mental illness that is not coterminous with criminality and treating it as if it were is deleterious to treatment.
(5) Behavioral therapy alone lacks recognition, addressing of non-cognitive processes: values or impulses
Tue, 26 Jun 2018 [271 + 459]
JF is leaving today (now). Woke up to JH saying “damn… got a creep moving in downstairs” (the bunk below his) because he thought he knew who was taking JF’s spot.
Harley Davidson moving some production to Europe due to Trump’s tariffs. Magnum Nail in MN due to go out of business by Labor Day because of the Trump tariffs (Mid Continent Nail Corp). Tariffs = taxes (once said by Larry Kudlow, now a trump-toady).
Phase II over – hallelujah! Ended it with a stupid video. There was a video of a female cop chasing two purse snatchers. Like that was realistic. Real cops would just shoot them in the back.
Supreme Court upholds Muslim ban. Sad day for a one-democracy.
Sent IIRs: (1) Requested refills of [medication] and [medication], (2) education – asked if any chance of doing some self-study courses at edx.org (highly unlikely, but I have nothing else to do but ask), (3) inmate accounting – how do I send money out of the prison to my mom.
More anti-social, psychotic stuff from AT. He talked about wanting to “scam everything” when he got out: credit cards, Walmarts, bars, etc. Then the conversation turned to kidnapping supermodels and selling them on the Internet and mailing them in a duffle bag. He needs to stay in prison – forever. He is a stone-cold Nebraskan piece of shit. I wonder if he could be Susan Strong’s offspring/relative? Can’t be… he wouldn’t be in prison then; there is no accountability for friends and family of corrupt judges.
Wed, 27 Jun 2018 [272 + 458]
Busy morning. Was going to go to breakfast, but sort of woke up and heard it was just those nasty breakfast burritos, so just went back to sleep. Went to Resident’s Council at 8am and then individual treatment at 810am. Went pretty fast: I read the 3.3 answers and we talked a bit about it. He said he was marking me down as having a “good” chance of staying off drugs; he usually only gives “fair”. I am not intention of staying off of them. I will be more moderate than I had been in 2016 – that was excessive and unhealthy.
I also gave him some of my opinions about the quality of the program supervision, i.e. Bless’s public criticizing and gender-based ad hominem attacks. He kind of shook his head and clearly understood what I meant and seemed to agree; at least, it seemed so from his non-verbals. Funny thing: there was a guy at Community Meeting at 10am that turned out to be a supervisor from the main office here to be temporary supervisor. Guess they know what a shit-show Bless and Fairgood are. Fairgood was not here at all and Bless as fake as hell (e.g. nice and respectful).
The shirts that I ordered two weeks ago arrived today. CT has been looking like a snack all day long. Prison glossary: “looking like a snack” idiom. – sexually exciting. Our new roommate is supposedly another AT. God damn! Another MS-13 douche.
Today I mourn the death of our democratic-republic. Kennedy retires from the Supreme Court so Dumpster Fire will get a second pick and all hope is lost. Plus the Democrats are imploding, so no one with any seriousness exists to challenge the authoritarian scourge.
[Redacted: removed a paragraph on results detail and commentary on various blood and urine lab tests.]
Thu, 28 Jun 2018 [273 + 457]
Large Group – boring – two life stories. Took a nap after until 11am.
At yesterday’s canteen they gave me a regular tuna instead of the one in Thai chili sauce. At first when I noticed it when I got back, I was pissed off, but I thought about making a tuna wrap – and I did and it was good. I think I’ll start ordering tuna of both kinds every week.
Yesterday Pat from canteen was all pissy because of a conflict with an inmate. He is such a big baby – and probably the third pettiest person in this prison (#1 being Charrlin). Talked to DP – good call, not too much in the way of news. He did mention that Kroger was going to try self-driving cars for home delivery. O Brave New World!
Checked out that 12 Great Philosophers book. It looks really good and I didn’t have much time with it last time.
Fri, 29 Jun 2018 [274 + 456]
Plato: a world of particular things accessible via the physical senses and a world of Ideas and Forms accessible through the mind/reason.
AR has been talking all day about how they cut his psych medication back. They needed to have doubled it – he’s been more psychotic than normal. He’s increased his inappropriate outbursts and yelling and noise-making.
Our new room is a bona-fide racist. Must be a Trump supporters too, I guess.
Got a new schedule for the last two months of this torture program. Watching the bi-monthly movie: Game Night with Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner. The rude bitch Bonnet is quitting in seven days to move back to Idaho. Asshat/asshole Strode takes a demotion to Activities and Recreation coordinator – which in prison means he watches and terrorized people who try to use the gym. JH says Strode used to be on the Omaha gang unit.
Made carnitas burritos with SP and JH. One was plenty, but made two each. MMMmmmm… American Ninja Warriors LA. Hot guys!
Sat, 30 Jun 2018 [275 + 455]
Wrote several pages for the book on how imprisonment is an act of supreme violence perpetuated by the most sociopathic/abusive bullies in society. I’m coining the term ‘The Bully State’ as an alternative view of the lost liberty motif that right-winger’s call ‘The Nanny State’. Might rename the book to this too: The Bully State: Tales and Musings of Captivity in the Prison Called Nebraska.
Replied to JH, KP, TF on email. Also sent an email to AH and TH.
Severe thunderstorm warning here and lots of clouds on TV that look like funnel clouds. God, I hope they come down and tear up this cesspool of a state. Or an early Christmas present – one right through Susan Strong’s evil cave.
Another month down – 9 so far and 15 to go. June went by fast – hopefully July and August go by just as fast.
Had dinner with RS. He is on his last month in here. He is planning to go to CCCO as well. He said he used to be an accountant, but wasn’t planning on working in that field at work release. He mentioned he had some list of companies in Omaha that hired people with felonies. I am going to write to Reentry to ask if they have such a list and also about the medicine.
Got a reply from KP and TH. TH’s was a nice long letter!
Nebraska is trying to kill us by baking us to death or by asphyxiation. I asked if I could sign up for lethal injection instead of baking. No response.
Though of a new name for my book that I kind of like: Anti-Intellectual Nebraska: Myths of Addiction and Justice.
CNN just advertised a special called “The Dark Side of the Internet” about hate speech. Part of the reel said “a twelve year old could access this stuff in minutes”. Yesterday I was watching some news show that some commentator stopped his comment mid-idea and said “I guess kids could be watching”. When did every piece of content or free speech become subject to censorship on the possibility some kid could get ahold of it? It’s ridiculous – no one can say, do, or watch anything because parents can’t be responsible for watching their kids. If parents feel that their kids should have a completely anti-septic childhood, the burden should be theirs to build a bubble for them – unplug the Internet, remove the cable TV or TV-at-all and background check all the other children they might come in contact with. If anyone wondered where the pussification of society stems from, it might be this attitude.
They just turned on the air conditioning. Yay! It feels like that movie with Arnold Swartzenegger where they Martians are one breath away from dying and the big fans come on.
Had individual therapy session with Allmendinger to cover the treatment plan items #3 and #4. He seemed impressed with the scholarship and even offered some surprisingly-cogent and relevant insights. He did some minor defense of the CAT I program content that it is based on the cognition of rationalization and not the cognition of decision-making. After the meeting, he printed off a bunch of papers from the SMART Recovery website. So far I am impressed with what I’ve read. I may try to start a SMART Recovery group here while I’m waiting on parole.
Submitted library loan requests for (1) Sober for Good (Anne Fletcher), (1) Algorithms and Data Structures, and (3) Embedded Programming in C.
Got the SMART Recovery materials from Allmendinger. Holy shit – it’s so much better than the 12-step stuff. It’s like night and day: the 12-step material reads like the word-salad of Paul from the New Testament and the SMART materials actually make sense and do not immediately give me a headache from the sheer stupidity of them. I am going to ask mom to order the handbook for me.
Wed, 2 May 2018 [216 + 514]
Canteen morning – got a bunch of those quesadilla mush packs. They were good – well, they were better than the kitchen food.
Another stupid ass community meeting – 15 min that will never come back. Lost forever.
Got a bunch of books yesterday – Hellfire Club, Annihilation trilogy, and the PHB from mom and JH. Got an email from TH and answered it this morning.
The United State’s experiment with democracy is over. This form of government requires reasonableness, consensus-building, and a little honor. Absent that good-will and cooperative spirit, the cracks in having a government of three coequal branches become apparent and unresolvable without some branch seizing an unequal position about the others. The blame: a lazy and uninformed citizenry who allowed hyper-partisan charlatans to fully populate all three branches.
Thu, 3 May 2018 [217 + 513]
Large group was good. Listened to someone’s life story and then discussed goals and having realistic expectations about how long goals take to accomplish.
Wrote an IIR to Mr. Erickson at CCCO about questions around possibility of working for a previous employer at work release.
Also submitted a phone request, social variety, for TH and for my bankruptcy lawyer with the note (paraphrased): “since you refuse to add my attorney to the confidential list, I guess I’ll have to give my right speak confidentially to him in order to speak to him at all”. We’ll see what happens with that sarcastic note, given that professional discourse fails to reach a Nebraskan.
Fri, 4 May 2018 [218 + 512]
Thor Ragnarok today at 3:55pm.
Inevitably, in any government let by the will of the People, fools will make their way into positions of power, because the vast majority of the People are themselves fools. Their soul is full of laziness when it comes to learning the facts of issues themselves and in parsing arguments presented by political con artists for reasoning errors and manipulation.
Someone in this room has a rotten ass. Very rotten.
Nebraskan depravity strikes again. ICS (phone people) say “ICS doesn’t have to try multiple times” to add a phone number. The process is that before they add a lawyer, they have to call and confirm they are a lawyer and if the lawyer doesn’t pick up the phone the first try (apparently), you’re screwed. They have everything designed so that they do the least amount of work possible and still collect their full pay. Very few of these people would cut it in a real employment situation. Corrections is a jobs program for the laziest, most morbidly obese, most incompetent, and severely psychologically disturbed people in society. In order to solve the mass incarceration problem, we’d have to find a way to support these Unemployables another way.
Found a strange, hard protrusion on my left lower jaw, left side, right below the tooth line. It is hard and sticks out for what feels 5 – 6 mm (feels like anyway from running my tongue over it). No such feature exists on the other side of the jaw.
Saw Thor: Ragnarok finally. It was a little weird at some points (the garbage world, the Grandmaster, etc.), but I still loved it overall.
Got the schedule for Phase 2 today. M,Th is the CAT II class with Graham and Fallin (porn-addict guy) and Tu, F is the Relapse Prevention I class. Still stuck in the 7a-7:55am large group on M, Th. 33.3% done!
Mom said she order the SMART Recovery handbook that I asked for.
Sat, 5 May 2018 [219 +511]
Happy Fucking Birthday. Burn in Hell, Susan Strong, you in-bred, hateful Devil.
Got a reply from ICS – I think they did finally add the new lawyer on the request to add him as a friend instead of an attorney. They decline to add TH because “subscriber info does not match”. Doesn’t match what? These people are so evil and so miserable.
This place is ridiculously miserable. The new room situation sucks. The new roommate is a K2 dealer and is really loud and obnoxious and brings out the obnoxiousness in the others. They talked at maximum volume for all of the 4pm count about violent misogynistic sex. I couldn’t turn up the volume enough to drown out the loud and very stupid conversation.
Read the Southern Reach Trilogy, book 1 (Annihilation). It was very captivating. Called mom and talked for 15 min (the maximum). Need to finish Plato’s Republic by Friday.
Sun, 6 May 2018 [220 + 510]
22 scaramuccis down, 51 to go.
Read John Meachem’s Soul of America: The Batter for our Better Nature. Amanda Carpenter: The Gaslighting of America. (gaslighting = an elaborate scheme to distort reality). A republic is worth defending but few people are doing it (like Michael Avenatti). David Johnson: “It’s worse than we think”. Reliable Sources, CNN.
I hope Susan Strong and her whole family get some foul disease of the body and mind to match her foul disease of the soul.
I’ve decided to create my own Arya’s List to repay hatred and lies used to deliver me to this Hell on Earth called Nebraska. My repayment will be non-violent: to expose to the world the trash-heap of humanity that is Nebraska’s so-called “justice” system. Ideas: corruptionwatch.org where everyone violated by these vampires can be named and shamed. Unfortunately, they have no shame. They’re making so much money, they can afford to live with it.
United Shades of America was on Sikhism. They wear the turbans because they are advertising that they are duty-bound to help people in need. Also, founded around 1500CE by Guru Narak; it is marked by the rejection of idolatry and caste. “I see no stranger. I see no enemy”. They come to America and get shot at and killed. Find that one book I have at home: The Brief History of God. Sikhism requires the faithful to be active in doing good work, seeking justice.
For the second weekend in a row, we’re being baked to death slowly in Oven #4. On Friday, the A/C went off and Cpl Bonnett said it wasn’t working. She called the lieutenant and they said “tough shit – no maintenance for the weekend. Saturday was awful; not sure how tonight will fare, but so far shaping up to be about the same.
Topic for my book: a disproportionate number of employees in the upper legion of prison system – and especially the most sadistic of them have German names: Lewien (warden), Administrator Weiss, Captain Strode, …. Are these the children of the Operation Paperclip transplants? Research item.
Mon, 7 May 2018 [221 + 509]
Air conditioning had been switched off over the weekend; very miserable night. Couldn’t sleep. Had difficulty breathing. Very crabby today. The stupid snatch of an SAU supervisor (Ms. Bless) came to the group at 7am to say that people who have to move out of the 7am group to make room for the GED students because that’s the only time they can attend. Several people brought up that they were taking college courses and also needed the 7am time slot. Instead of gathering information, like how many people are in those Metro classes to see how many people are affected to see if there was an even a issue with being able to accommodate both GED and Metro education classes, she tells them that GED is more important and all the Metro people need to just live with it because that’s what they would have to do if this was a job. She was just as hostile and belligerent about it as they were. She is probably the dumbest, least in-touch with treatment, and the most escalatory of all the prison officials.
Clearly, she’s never had a real job before either, because that’s not the way employers talk to you in the real world. They would have sought a solution that works for both important objectives, like shifting time slots around or doing 20 seconds of information-gathering to see who isn’t impacted by either GED or Metro and could be shifted around with no problem whatsoever (like myself). But no, that ex-crack-whore loves her authoritarian rule too much.
Submitted an IIR to laundry to get 4 new pairs of socks as these cheap garbage-bin socks are have huge holes in them. Cpl Shademan signed off on the size of the sock hole that I wrote on the IIR.
CAT II started with a Rudyard Kipling poem. I incorrectly identified him as the writer of Headless Horseman. Fallin corrected me that that was Washington Irving. Kipling wrote the Jungle Book. That was really embarrassing being wrong and corrected by that pipe-squeak masturbator.
Felt really depressed all day long – not exactly sure why. Thought about death several times. Imagined how I should have brought a crackable capsule of cyanide in my mouth to that courtroom on October 4th and bitten down as that whore started her smarmy, off-base, and self-enriching pronouncements. Anyone should have the option of death to any prison sentence as a natural right. Death is far preferable to his Hellish nightmare.
The bleeding from my butt when wiping keeps getting worse. There is constantly blood and the toilet paper is frequently soaked bright red. The “medical” staff replied to my IIR about the protrusion on my jaw. It is “scheduled”, which means they’ll get back with me in about four months.
Got a reply from Erickson at CCCO about the work release questions I asked where I could contact [old employer] and work for them at one of their location at work release.
Did a bit of study of numbers to try and cheer myself up. I want to quantify how much more representation smaller, rural states get than larger and urban states get. T??? and Wyoming citizens get 5+ units of representation per million-citizens; whereas CA only get 1.47 units of representation per million citizens. I intend to use this in my book. Nebraska devils get 2.43 units of representation/million citizens. The amount every citizen should get in a fair system is 1.73 units (using the 2013 population info in the library). I want to also study the amount of money taken by states from the federal government and match that up to the uneven representation and update these numbers with more recent data and add the areas that have zero Congressional representation (DC, PR, other territories).
Other title ideas: What’s the Matter with Nebraska: Myths of Addiction and Red State Justice. Include phrases: “prison as the punishment of first resort” and “hate-justice”.
Tue, 8 May 2018 [222 + 508]
First relapse prevention class was kind of like the recovery class – a lot of movies. Hopefully it won’t just be like that all the way through. Homework: read pages 1 – 8 of the Relapse book from the same series as the Criminal and Addictive Thinking book. The bullshit from the Minnesota Department of Corrections and some self-evidently fraudulent “doctors” whose names appear in the book. Hard to believe they are really academics.
Wrote a draft of a letter for P to Natalie Johnson trying to get them to at least not be roadblocks to someone trying to take MCC classes. Got a dig in on that stupid bitch, Ms. Bless, for being “openly hostile” and rude at even the suggestion that some minor effort could make all three priorities possible (SAU, GED, and MCC).
UCM Carroll is going to write an email to try and answer my questions about working for a previous employer on work-release.
Allmendinger replied about the SMART group that they would look further into starting a SMART Recovery group.
JDLC was abuse to UCW Charrlin at 4pm count today. He said “Charrlin, no one likes you” and she replied “I like me” and mumbled some more after that as she was leaving the room. Then an hour later she was shaking own our room for the third time in less than 30 days. She was reading my legal mail. She looked up and gave her evil grinch smile. 90 minutes later, she had tore up the room, tossed our personal property and state property around. She broke my JPay tablet (screen separated from the tablet) and a scratch across the center of the screen. She threw other peoples’ filthy clothes on my bed. Someone else’s pillow was on my bed. She wrote me up for having a “religious” tote and she took my D&D Player’s Handbook. She wrote RT up for a stolen TV and having a pill out of the bubble-pack. She took some of AR’s pills and took some altered clothing. She took way more property from the room than she documented int he search report, including the book.
Wrote a grievance on Charrlin. Wrote an IIR to UCM Carroll asking to move rooms. Wrote to AA Britton requesting a tort claim against Charrlin over the broken tablet and stolen book. Wrote a note to mailroom asking them to confirm that they had mistakenly starting writing someone else’s name in my book and then crossed it out and correctly wrote my name and number. Went to the library to research where the rule about only NE-established religious items are allowed in the “religious” tote.
Page 1 of the Misconduct Report – After Someone in the Same Room Said “No One Likes You”, Crazed Corporal Kelsey Marie Charrlin Returns and Destroys Property of Anyone in the Room and Issued Misconduct Reports with Spurious and Unsubstantiated Charges. All Charges Were Dismissed Simply by Luck That the Person Hearing the Charges Was One of the 5 Decent Human Beings In Nebraska – UCM CarrollPage 2 of the Misconduct Report – My section of the write-up is marked by the blue brackets. They sell small plastic totes on the Canteen there and Crazy Charrlin manufactured a rule that only religious items may be placed in them. Then she accused me of theft of a book sent to me in via US Mail by a friend. The so-called medication abuse charge didn’t even apply to me by her own description of events, but that didn’t stop her from charging me. She also conveniently omitted that she went on this rampage because one inmate (who she clearly saw say it) said “no one likes you”. She also omitted that she purposefully destroyed our personal property during the assault and contaminated our bunks with other people’s clothing items.Page 3 of the Misconduct ReportPage 1 of Several Pages of Handwritten Notes I made while preparing a grievance on Corporal Kelsey Marie CharrlinPage 2 of the Grievance Preparation Notes – A list of all the sources I searched to find where the rule about not storing anything that the State of Nebraska and Kelsey Charrlin have not established as “religious” in the plastic tote sold on Nebraska’s Prison Canteen.Page 3 of Background Notes for my Grievance: Still searching for the source of the rule sadistic Corporal Kelsey Charrlin pulled out of her ass.Page 4 of Background Notes: Observations and Amateur Psychological Profile of Corporal Kelsey CharrlinDraft of Letter Written to Nebraska’s Office of Public Counsel About Sociopath Kelsey Charrlin Draft of Letter Written to Nebraska’s Office of Public Counsel About Sociopath Kelsey Charrlin Notes While the Crazed and Destructive Search Was Underway. Canteen Guard Pat Came to Observe Her Rampage. We asked for his help to get documentation on the pile of our personal belongs that she took off with and didn’t document in the Search Report (a.k.a. she stole) – he refused to help. A Sgt Winthrop and Lt. Lipton also came to watch the sight, but did nothing. She basically threw all our property and the state’s property on the floor. Tore up magazines, books. She broke my JPay tablet by tossing it on the ground ($129).More Notes from CharrlinNachtNotes/Drafts of Letter/GrievanceNotes/Draft of Letter/Grievance Notes/Draft of Letter/Grievance Notes/Draft of Letter/Grievance Notes/Draft of Letter/Grievance Notes/Drafts of Letter/GrievanceNotes for the UDC Hearing on the Charge for the Violation and Charrlin Made Up (rules about non-religious items in the plastic tote)
Wed, 9 May 2018 [223 + 507]
Overnight I had a throbbing head and temples and I was shaking uncontrollably. I asked the CO to see if medical could check my blood pressure. Medical replied ‘no’; it’s not an emergency.
I wrote an “apology” IIR to them this morning apologizing for disturbing the night nurse’s Netflix watching.
Felt very depressed and miserable all day long. I don’t see a way out of this place today. The horror is never going to end.
I tried to call Burke Smith Law 10 times today, but no answer. I suspect that he never agreed to help me and that Jeremy Parsley just passed along the first low-rent bankruptcy lawyer he found in the Yellow Pages to get me off the phone.
I should have called mom and dad instead – that might have improved my mood.
Was counselled by several inmates that I should not submit that grievance or letter to the Public Counsel or I might not even make it out of the prison system alive. Definitely not at the second year mark, at the very least. If they don’t do it themselves directly, they’ll move you to places and create situations where you’re guaranteed to be killed by another inmate and/or accumulate additional real-world charges and be stuck here forever.
Thu, 10 May 2018 [224 + 506]
Had PHO at 9am with Sgt Black. He was nice enough and started the conversation with “Charrlin hit you too?” I explained the bullshit she charrlined on us and he was understanding. He seemed to share the opinion that she is a ridiculous character and has some serious behavioral issues. He said to write down all the things I had been telling him and take that with me to UDC on May 15th.
Talked to UCM Carroll and asked about having JH fax the shipping notice for the book that she stole from me. She said talk to Property about it. I also asked her to withdraw the room-move and grievance against Charrlin on the ground that the “retaliation risk against me far outweighs any likely outcome of the grievance” (which would be nothing). She accepted the withdrawal without an dispute of my reasoning. Funny – she knows it’s true.
CAT II class was not as stupid as I expected today given that the reading assignment was about “victim-stance” (which is any Nebraskan’s favorite tactic.
“What’s the Matter with Nebraska: A Fable of Justice and Correction” – yes, I love that one. Or… “Myths of Justice and Correction”.
George Will wrote a scathing editorial on Mike Pence. Haha! I love it. “a lickspittle Republican” and is “horrifying” .
Fri, 11 May 2018 [225 + 505]
AT&T CEO says hiring Michael Cohen was a “serious mistake”. Haha. Horrible people being horrible and turning on each other. I hate AT&T for this and many more reasons and it’s great that they’re getting into a bit of trouble for thei bad behavior.
UCM Carroll helped call the mailroom and they took responsibility for writing the wrong name in the book to being with. Carroll is going to handle the correction of their mistake and getting me my book back. Asked her to thank the mailroom for lady for being honest and owning up to her mistake. Most Nebraskans won’t do that.
Returned “Republic”, which I read, and two World of Warcraft books, which I did not read, to the library.
Had to go to the “medical” unit and sign a refusal form about the urgent medical issue that I had the other night that they were too busy watching Netflix to stop for.
Relapse class was actually good – great discussion on “good times” and “bad times” of drug use and drug addition. Told Graham after class that it was a good class with a good discussion and thanked him.
I realized today why ICS refused to add TH’s number. I put down xxx (my old area code) instead of xxx (his area code).
Sat, 12 May 2018 [226 + 504]
Still jailed in the land of Sodom and Gomorrah (Nebraska) – inhospitable beyond understanding. Wishing a horrible pox on Susan Strong that sends “it” to Hell that much sooner.
Got a reply from AA Britten about the tort claim against UCW Charrlin. Will start working on that. Need to get a receipt for the player to attach to the claim.
Helped L work on his 7″ tablet. JPay sent him some instructions to hard reboot his table because of issues that he was experiencing.
Called DP. Told him about the “Weed vs Pills” documentary on CNN and the Masterpiece Mystery “Unforgotten” series (AMAZING!!). He told me the story about AD – that he had descended into full-blown schizophrenia and had drunk radiator fluid because a voice told him to. That’s awful – too bad this country is overwhelmingly hateful and unwilling to provider aid to people suffering with mental illness – the non-functioning ones they let roam the streets until they freeze to death or kill someone and the functioning ones, they give jobs in Nebraska. DP said he didn’t want to install the JPay stuff on his computer or phone. Can’t really blame him on that one.
Sun, 13 May 2018 [227 + 503]
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! Will be calling this afternoon in case she’s out to breakfast with the others. Mr. Benjamin wrote “Call you mother’s today” on the whiteboard. He’s classy.
Started reading the Digital Electronics book and working on the circuit and truth tables exercises. They were good refresher from the Computer Architecture class I took as part of grad school prep. So far, so good.
UCW Jolly was here today. I asked her about the “religious” box question. She said she didn’t find out any answers. She repeated the one memo she found about discussions about removing the box from the canteen. I mentioned that one UCW had thought there had been a memo posted maybe a long time ago (before I was here). She said “Well, I’ve been here for 5yrs and it’s not been posted since I’ve been here”.
More endless discussions about drugs, drug-dealing and “pussy”. It makes me want to slam my head into the cement block. It is not that it tempts me to use; it’s that it’s frustrating to listen to the same stupid conversations over and over and over again. Plus the poor decision-making, lack of logic thinking, and all-around poor character (misogyny, homophobia, stealing, …) just makes my soul hurt and inspires wanting to choke some quality into them.
Dear Susan Strong, Ebola or Hemorrhagic Fever would be right for your and your family. Choking to death on your own internal rot and purification and (unwarranted) self-righteousness would be great karma. I would prove there really is justice left in the world.
Going to call mom for Mother’s Day and hope to answer some emails. Masterpiece’s Unforgotten tonight!
Mon, 14 May 2018 [228 + 502]
Brought up my write-ups from Charrlin and went over all my evidence. No one said a word; they moved on immediately. Damn, was hoping to start a long and ugly argument. Then a real half-wit read his life story blaming his 7 – 8 prison terms on everyone but himself and his plan after this number is to go to Las Vegas to get out of the bad environment – the whole large group starting laughing in unison.
CAT II was ridiculous as always. The Hazelton Foundation trying to out-manipulate a bunch of manipulators. “Victim Stance”. I gave an example of this “criminal and addictive behavior” by bringing up a person from current events who calls any questions of accountability for him a “witch-hunt”.
Talked to UCW Knife to collect additional proof that there is no rule about having non-religious stuff in the plastic totes.
Have individual session at 13:30.
JDLC pissed into his drinking cup and set it outside the door at count. UCM Carroll came by and asked “Is this piss in this cup?” JDLC acknowledged it. I know Nebraska is a backward state, but I think they should consider this one advance of civilization that’s been around for awhile now – it takes human waste away from where humans are habitating.
Felony theft guy from Nebraska sports fame gets only probation. Must be nice to get preferrable outcomes in the “justice” system because you’re right and famous. What do kind of justice do you call that, you whore and fake, Susan Strong. An actual crime where someone was deprived of liberty, or property, or an equal distribution of the primary goods of society, gets a slap on the write. In Nebraska, there’s a different set of principles for the wealthy and well-connected. [Editor’s Note: some Google-searching and this appears to be a Patrick Combs, convicted by a jury of stealing $113k from a wealthy elderly couple and an attempt at getting the rest of their $1.75M as well.]
Weird canteen officer, Pat, just stuck his head in our room. He just acted like an asshole – extremely unpleasant. He was probably hoping to catch someone half-undressed. He or someone else in the room brought up his part in last week’s atrocity, CharrlinNacht, and he started saying “I’m just following orders. I’m just getting business done.” I wanted to say “I’d be careful volunteering that info. It’s what the soldiers and government employees say after they’re caught committing atrocities. Although in Nebraska, it would be enough to exonerate them; whereas in civilized places, that’s not excuse. Instead I tried to be fake-nice and said “you guys have made some really good RTE meal selections for canteen recently.” He started getting super-pissy like I interrupted his pervert “stink eye” stare at the room, barking “write a kite to the boss….” He was so hateful and kept barking about that, so I just put my headphones on in the middle of his enraged monologue. Oh, actually when he first walked in and was bitching at JDLC and SP about something or other, I did suggest he was here to start the waterboarding at 6pm. I guess he could have been mad because of that, but didn’t seem like he’d even registered that he’d heard it.
Tried to take a nap earlier, but the room was having a super-loud conversation about SP’s possible homosexual tendencies. That’s the fourth most frequent topic of this room. #1 is doing drugs, #2 is “pussy” and #3 is drug-dealing.
Choke on your own phlegm and die, Susan Strong, you lying, unjust, self-righteous, corrupt whore.
Now they’re talking tricking doctor’s offices into prescribing “Lean” by saying their kids have a terrible cough at night that prevents sleep. For the love of God, help.
Tue, 15 May 2018 [229 + 501]
Had Relapse I class – it was OK. Watched a video that had a comedian who was an addict talking about addiction-related, relapse-oriented issues in the form of comedy. I had a crabby look on my face the whole time because I was otherwise pissed off, but it was actually a good video. God a third treatment plan from Allmendinger.
Had UDC after lunch. All charges were dismissed as they obviously should have been, but probably wouldn’t have been if not for it being heard by one of the only five decent Nebraskans in existence. UCM Carroll said the Parole Board doesn’t see any dismissed charges. We’ll see, I guess, since the tribal knowledge says they do see them. I submitted a form to get my property back.
Replied to JH’s letter about his friend that passed away from alcoholism.
Wed, 16 May 2018 [230 + 500]
Twenty-three scaramuccis down and fifty to go. Woohoo! August 24th is the next 10-step down of remaining scaramuccis. Need to call Burke Smith one more time. Decided to hold off on calling him to see if I can arrange to get the 401k and HSA money first. Not that he’s answering the phone anyway.
Community meeting is cancelled with no reason given. Might be because the staff meeting ran too long. Room is pondering if anyone has gotten kicked out.
Donald Trump is such a joke of a human being. He’s meeting with Uzbekistan president looking like an orange muppet and rambling like an idiot.
Need to start working on the next treatment plan. Two exercises on motivation. The treatment plan he is suggesting makes no sense, as most thing in Nebraska: designed for morons, by morons. This state is full of low-integrity degenerates, like Susan Strong. She screeches about Justice while dispensing preferential outcomes for the same/similar offenses to white/right-wingers and draconian punishments to black and liberals (as Nixon intended).
Wrote long letter to KP that included some text from my book. Mom emailed and said that B had written three times and not gotten a reply. I never got them. I sent mom and reply and B a test message. I’ll call one of the tomorrow and see if they got them.
Sent dad a Father’s day card, B a birthday card and sent TH a visitor request form.
Got books ready for dropping off at Property next week for mom to pick up.
Thu, 17 May 2018 [231 + 499]
Large group was a ridiculous and obnoxious pissing match between Graham and the usual suspects. The same old topics: prioritization of non-GED education and discontent with SAU program. Neither side actually listening to the other or meaningfully responding to what the other side actually said. Graham won’t just say, “You’re wrong. Group is not an endless bitch-fest for everything you don’t like about a prison treatment program. The answer is ‘no’ and if you want to appeal, contact Person X”. The other side doesn’t hear anything Graham says and just repeats the same complaints louder and more rapid-fire and keep including more people among those they claim to speak for. Their complaint is more than valid at its core, but by continuously bitching about it in Large Group, they’re just preaching to a captive audience and one impotent substance abuse counsellor and a self-avowed masturbator (ha).
CAT II ended a half-hour early for some unknown reason. My guess is that Graham wanted to use the time to report the large group behavior to Ms. Bless. Ms. Bless is quite possibly the dumbest and more ineffective communicator that I have met among the universe of adults with professional or para-professional jobs.
JDLC was just kicked out of the SAU program. He didn’t seem to be able to connect his antagonism of the staff, especially the ones known to be reasonable and those known to be part of the “kick ’em out first and ask questions later” He says they gave him no reason whatsoever, but just asked “you don’t know what you did?” Not sure if I believe that; if true, it’s wrong that they weren’t honest with him about him being a piece of shit. He should have been told why for this own improvement and as a growth/deterrence less for everyone else. My guess is that it’s about his barely-veiled threats on Charrlin and various yard officers that come by at 21:00 count. I don’t think violence ever solves a problem, whether the violence is conducted by an individual or the police state; but if I heard that that he and his homies beat the shit out of Charrlin on her front yard one day ten years hence, I wouldn’t weep. Of course there’s one person who I’d weep tears of joy for to hear they beat her and left her in a filthy alley. I hate that Nebraska’s hate-justice and violence has turned me into the kind of person who wishes for the suffering of another.
Pictures arrived from mom and dad. Wow – the house is looking awesome. More good news – they also sold their house, so that’s one thing less for us to worry about. She also sent the address for Optum and [employer], so I wrote to Optum to try and get my money from HSA account. I ran out of envelopes so I will have to wait on the letter to [employer] until next week.
Helped JF write a letter to the parole board to move his parole hearing up.
Bought an envelope from another inmate (a serious crime in Nebraska) and wrote the letter to [employer] as well. Will put out in the mail tomorrow.
It’s oddly quieter here tonight without Big Mouth. I do feel bad he got set back on his journey out of here. But… I probably won’t miss his noise and bullying behavior. I don’t think he ever did anything unpleasant to me directly, but his pointless provocation of the prison sociopaths and grooming of SP for who-knows-what were bothersome regardless.
Fri, 18 May 2018 [232 + 498]
Had early morning pass to have the birth certificate request notarized. Curtis Weiss (Administrator Weiss!) was doing the notary work, I assume. I just signed on my signature line and I guess he was going to do the notary part later. He couldn’t find the inmate check or envelope that I’d filled out and sent in on Monday.
Cpl. Kowalski returned my PHB finally. She failed to notice or return my plastic tote. She said she would follow up on it.
A joke from RT for the book: What’s twenty feet long and has two teeth? The front row of an NA meeting.
Finished the treatment plan item 3.1 and 3.2. Some good writing wasted on a stupid topic/exercise.
The bimonthly movie that came up this week was “Father Figures”. I’m not a fan. A couple of funny dialogue setts, but mostly a bunch of junk. Poorly developed characters and a series of not-funny and not-believable plot twists.
The devil Kelsey Charrlin is here tonight. I guess the rumors that she quit were just wishful thinking. I wonder if she’s related to the Whore of Lincoln.
Another school shooting – this time in Santa Fe, TX. NRA murders nine more children and one more teacher: no prison time. Recreational meth user with no death count: 16 1/2 months to go.
Sat, 19 May 2018 [233 + 497]
Woke up to the large Sgt. Briscoe staring at me and asking questions about hard-resetting a JPay tablet. He said stop over after I was awake if I thought I could help. I stopped over after breakfast of oatmeal and peanut butter and brushing my teeth. I showed the guy how to hard reset, but told him that really wasn’t his problem. He needed to get more software updates. He didn’t have any apps except the radio. That’s the same situation that I started with, so I shared my experience. JPay is an amateur-hour company (why be professional when your audience is captive and can’t communicate how shitty your treat your customers) and they haven’t updated their OOB image for a long time.
Cpl Briscoe is much more pleasant to have as the second-shift case worker. SP showed a picture of himself at 18-19ish – not bad. He had all his teeth back then. More talk about drugs – wouldn’t be a day in Nebraska without it.
More prison terms:
(1) “get stuck” intransitive vb. – while on some drugs, you start certain activities and are compelled to continue doing them endlessly or just aren’t able to change from it. Reminds me of that one story I read as a kid from the folktales book (I think) about the two farm couples visited by the gods. As a reward for hospitality, they were each given the gift that when they arose the next morning, whatever they started doing they would continue doing all day. The wise couple began collecting food (female) and counting money (male) and so they became prosperous. The foolish couple began shoveling slop (female) and beating his wife for wasting her gift on shoveling slop (male). Perhaps the gift of the gods was delivered through methamphetamine. Ha.
(2) swerve – n. someone who behaves obnoxiously or does unethical things for drugs. We had several words for those kind of people in OR, but not swerve.
(3) sketchy – adj. of, or doing depraved things for drugs. Had already heard of this one.
Sun, 20 May 2018 [234 + 496]
Having bad gas yesterday and so far today.
Fareed GPS was good as always. Instead of saying “Thank you for your service” to military or law enforcement (the latter which deserves nothing but spittle), I’m going to say it only to teachers. Thomas Friedman was on talking about the embassy move [Tel Aviv to Jerusalem] He made an observation that surprised me: Israel is courting only Republican and evangelical support and abandoning mainstream American Jews and even mainstream Americans. Wow, how crazy. They’re courting their support because they know they’ll help them the most, but because those nut jobs think helping Israel will bring on the Millennium (and thereby destroying the Jews). What a bunch of freaks – all of them.
Have I mentioned how miserable Nebraskans are before? Today around 14:15 it began pouring rain. The people outside ran toward the housing units to come in out of the rain. The unit staff on J3 would not let them inside. Supposedly, they called the lieutenant who said “no they can stand in the rain or go tot he gym”. Nebraskan humanity at its best.
On last night’s SNL – 86% of people arrested for marijuana use/possession are black or Hispanic. I think they were talking about New York, but not sure. Nebraska isn’t the only racist state with racist cops and judges.
Watched a documentary on Silas Fong’s family and home videos (Ali Kazimi). Americans were so crazed and undiscerning in their anger that Chinese wore buttons on clothing after Pearl Harbor identifying themselves as Chinese so dumb bumpkins wouldn’t kill them and ask questions later. Sad! (to quote a famous obese, orange, xenophobic bumpkin).
Watched conclusions of And Then There Were None and Little Women on Masterpiece. There is an upcoming MP called Man in the Orange Shirt about gay topics on June 17th at 8pm. I put that on my calendar to try and catch.
Mon, 21 May 2018 [235 + 495]
Large group went OK this week. One guy is graduating next week, so we talked a bit about that. Then we talked a bit about sponsorship. No big dramatic fights today.
Had an eye appointment right after. The “doctor” said my eyes look fine. [Edit] He asked about my glasses and I said I could last until I’m out of here. My glasses have some scratching but I would not trust him or Nebraska to change out my glasses.
CAT II was interesting. I made comments about how accusations of denial lack refutability, which he quickly moved past. Later the conversation moved to genetics and predisposition and I added some reasoning to what was turning into an inevitability of being an addict, so why not go for it. Finally, the ended with a story about a man who stopped his car to move a rattlesnake off the road. He grabbed it with one hand, got bitten and then switched to the other hand and got bitten there too. The topic was irrationality. I added “the real question is… how did that guy make it to 50 years old” and got a couple laughs.
Got an IIR reply from the Librarian Morton to the question about the plastic totes being for “religious” items and she said it comes from some book that inmates don’t have access to… hilarious!
In democracies, people get the representation they deserve. The USA deserve the Dumpster Fire Trump Susan Strong. Further both those two degenerates deserve to go to Hell. The Whore of Lincoln deserves a gross pus-filled pox before she crosses the River Styx.
[Insert: NDCS Inmate Calling System Standard Registration Form requesting addition of friend, TH. It’s signed by UCW Bonnett on 05/11/2018.]
The president is attacking the mayor of Oakland for warning her constituents about ICE raids. The major is Libby Shaaf. The nation’s dumbest Congressman, Steve King, sponsored a bill called Libby Shaaf Bill to punish local officials for interfering with immigration operations. [Editor’s Note: Steve King was not the dumbest Congressman; that was and remains Louie Gohmert]
Tue, 22 May 2018 [236 + 494]
Got up early (6am) because I had a lab appointment. Ate the shitty-ass breakfast (peanut butter toast, cream of slop, dry generic Captain Crunch mixed with generic version of Fruity Pebbles…. and the only reason that I went in – some pineapple juice.).
Release I was OK. I caught Mr. Graham actually editing some of the “criminal”-focused language out – to his credit. I was impressed with his humanity and good sense.
The smell of fire and brimstone on the unit heralds the arrival of Kelsey Charrlin, the devil’s handmaiden.
Talked to mom and dad. Work is progressing on the roof. They have contracted the brick work to some of dad’s friends. After roof is on, they’ll start looking at the septic/lagoon work and burying the water line.
Wed, 23 May 2018 [237 + 493]
Dropped five books, 22 magazines, and the plastic tote that Nebraskans have determined is only for religious items as established by them off at Property for mom to pick up. Sgt Pedrick was actually polite today – quelle surprise! Got canteen spending down to $51. Good, but want to get it down lower, like $30 to $40.
At community meeting, the dumb bitch, Bless, started the meeting out with some petty whining about people with drinks in the day room and not wearing undershirts or not having tucked-in their state rags-resembling-shirts into their state rags-resembling pants. Instead of talking to the people involved in transgressing her petty and childish rules, she flailed around with her hateful, ugly mug and unable to control her behavior for 3-4 minutes. Then she finally moved on with the purpose of the meeting. When one of the graduates, F, gave his graduation speech, he said the program was not very good and that the “material is dated and the program is no managed very well”. The room erupted in applause. Bless adopted an ever more hideous than usual mean-mug face/stance. The counsellors had either a slightly sour look or maintained a good poker face, but kept themselves composed until Frau Bless.
Skipped the “meat salad” lunch. “Meat salad” is not a salad with strips of sliced meats on top. It’s like a tuna or chicken salad, but they’re not sure enough about the genus of the predominant animal whose muscle, cartilage, or fur were ground into it to commit to its name on the label. It looks very similar to what cat’s puke up. Pass.
Took a nap after lunch of packaged beef stew from the canteen. Woke up to the return of the first phone update to add TH. They denied it because I had made a change in the last 90 days. Try again August 2. Nebraskans are miserable pieces of shit.
Things which were illegal not so long ago or that are still illegal, but have no victims: gambling, gay sex until 1992, oral sex between heterosexuals, suicides, non-coercive prostitution, drug use, heresy/witchcraft.
Former US Attorney for Southern District of NY and former NYC mayor Rudy Guiliani on truth: “truth is relative” and so an interview with a prosecutor is a perjury trap. Nebraska treats truth the same way. The cop Brabec and the judge, Susan “Baal” Strong, both felt it was OK for them to treat the truth as mutable.
Thu, 24 May 2018 [238 + 492]
Large group was interesting. We talked about the crazy and ridiculous stupidity spat out by SAU’s own Dumpster Fire: Ms. Bless, at Wednesday’s community meeting. One of the guys said it was a challenge for him to stay quiet about it while she berated the whole “community” instead of focusing her pettiness directly at the offenders. She was using abusive language and mean-mugging like a child. Then making threats of forcing people to restart the program from the beginning because they gave some well-earned criticism of the program.
CAT II was the same assault on good sense that it always has been. Near the end Fallin tried to hold up Mike Pence as a paragon of accountability because he doesn’t eat meals with women other than his wife. I tried to keep my mouth shut but Graham pulled it out of me that Pence is a fraud – he used campaign money to pay his personal mortgage. It was less of a bomb than I thought. Graham, to his credit, turned it into an example of a “good person stance”. Could Graham secretly be a good person? I guess I could understand why he’d have to try hard to keep it secret working and living in Nebraska.
Been feeling a little depressed today even though mom will be here tomorrow. I guess because I know I will just be back to being alone here in Gomorrah after she leaves on Sunday. I need to just be happy for the three days I have.
Dumpster Fire Trump cancelled the US-NK summit. Who could have seen that coming except for everyone but Trump supporters.
Fri, 25 May 2018 [239 + 491]
Awoken at 6am for a drug test – it was supposed to be the new mouth swab kind of test for seven of us. For some reason G, didn’t have to do one – maybe he’d had on recently. Four of them passed their mouth swabs, but for three of us, the test failed to yield any result, so we had to accept our rape and then fill the plastic cup.
Harvey Weinstein reports to jail/court this morning. Out by lunch – good candidate for my book theme. I’m thinking now the title should be Tale of Two Justice Systems.
So hungry right now. I think part of it is just anticipation of semi-decent food from the visiting room. Can’t wait for the visit with mom, though. Lots of stuff to catch up on and plans for the [project].
Good visit with mom. Talked a lot about the project and family stuff.
Went to bed really early last night – 9pm; was tired.
Sat, 26 May 2018 [240 + 490]
24 scaramuccis down. 49 scaramuccis to go! Michael Smerconish says he believe drugs and prostitution should be legalized. Smart guy! Recovering Republican.
Good visit with mom; although the asshole Nebraskans caused us to miss the first 45 minutes because they were lying to each of us (me and mom) telling us the other wasn’t here or ready yet. Talked more about the project and plans. They have lots of good ideas about marketing and …. [redacted].
I also thought I would check with JG to see if he would be willing to come out and do some of the technology preparation stuff. She liked that idea and said she would pay him for his time and gas and make some goodies for he and DP.
Hurricane season started already with Hurricane Alberto. Mom said they are supposed to be getting some rain from that this weekend.
Sun, 27 May 2018 [241 + 489]
Had a good visit with mom. Was hard to see her go today. She was going to try and drive straight home. She talked a bit about her retirement plans and we had some more ideas about the project. I will still try and get ahold of JG to see if he is interested in helping.
After I was back in the room, it was time for count. I was kind of tired and I thought I’d take a nap. After about 20 minutes or so I woke up to the smell of smoke. I didn’t see who it was personally. I said something snarky like “I thought we weren’t doing that shit (K2) in the room”. AR was the only one to respond and said something like “the first is out now”. It didn’t matter; the room was already filled with smoke and drugs. I tried to go back to sleep, but I was so incensed that I couldn’t.
I heard from AR and RT later that it was JF who was smoking it. The same JF who made a big, apparently false, show about how he cared for his mother getting breast cancer and getting custody of his daughter and how he wasn’t going to “fuck up” again so he could get out and be some help to them. He’s just full of shit – he cares about himself only. He also care naught for the rest of the room who these troglodyte Nebraskans would have given us the same punishment as him because it’s easier than figuring out who is really at fault. I blame dumbass SP too; he was the one that bought the drugs yesterday, but at least he went and smoked them in the bathroom last night out of the room.
A guy name Paul Schrade was on CNN just now talking about the RFK assassination. Paul was struck by a bullet from Sirhan Sirhan, but said it was not possible for him to have killed RFK. He said that prosecutors have the evidence that there was a second gunman there, but are not releasing it. RKF Jr is also supporting this theory. Read a teaser for CNN’s “1968” special series.
New roomie, BP, is here for a fifth DUI for 5-x years.
Mon, 28 May 2018 [242 +488]
Memorial Day.
Woke up to another day of smoking drugs in the room – G and JF. I sat up and said “Are we smoking int he room every day now?” G pretended like I’d said nothing and JF walked out of the room. He came back in a few minutes later and started whispering to him about smoke smells in the bathroom and some other things I couldn’t hear. AR woke up too and was pissy to them too – saying “You all are selfish. You all are some stupid mother-fuckers and slammed the door a few times”.
The Trump administration loses 1500 immigrant children when they arrested their parents. Further, they assert that they have no legal obligation to find them.
Got called to the library – 3 of my books came in “Theories of Justice” (Brian M Barry), “Algorithms+ Data Structures = Programs” (Wirth)” and “Sober for Good” (Fletcher).
Watched Amanpour on PBS for an interview of the irascible Glenda Jackson. She was an actor and former(?) member of parliament that did an anti-tribute to Margaret Thatcher. She said that everything she learned was a vice in childhood: greed, self-centeredness was turned into a virtue during the Thatcher reign. Very true and at the same could be said about the US’s male version – Reagan (~Gordon Gecko).
New ideas for book title: Diseased State: Nebraska and some kind of sub-title like Philosophizing on Addiction, So-Called Justice, and the Prison State. Maybe something about “platinum justice”. First-class justice vs. third-class justice.
Supposedly some good good for Memorial Day. I will be the judge of that myself. Surprisingly it was good. Bacon double cheeseburger, baked beans, coleslaw, Cool Ranch Doritos, cut carrots and cucumbers, and a Jello cake. The question now is if they can (have the capability of) making a decent and hygienic meal, why only on select holidays do we get one.
Wrote letters to PD and K&C thanking them for the birthday cards and letters. Also talked to DP about asking JG if he might be willing to do some of the computer setup work the [project] when they’re ready. For pay. Emailed that to Mom since I’d use the minutes for today. Wrote an IIR to Allmendinger about 1:1 and special topic.
Hot roommate disclosed that he is bisexual. Yum. Too bad this is prison.. and I’m too old for him.
The conclusion to CNNs 1968 is tonight. This week I want to finish the letter to the Nebraska Innocence Project.
Also got the books I’d been waiting for from the library. (1) Theories of Justice… nevermind, I already wrote that in the journal. “Trying to do too much”. Haha
Prison glossary:
(1) “trying to do too much” (as when CO looks too hard to find a violation)
(2) “Is that all you, girl” (has a big ass, … in a good way)
(3) “chopping it up” – having an intense personal conversation with
(4) “swamp ass” – lol
Tue, 29 May 2018 [243 + 487]
Back to the grind after 3-day weekend. hahahah. I’ve come to hate weekends – no mail, nothing to do.
Relapse class was non-eventful. Starting reading the “Theories of Justice” book. Looks like it will be a challenging read. Good.
Wed, 30 May 2018 [244 + 486]
Signed up for an MCC class for summer: either “Employment Skills” or “Keyboarding”. Won’t know for sure which I get until later. Confirmed with Cpl. Shademan that you won’t get sent to WEC if I am in an MCC class. The summer class is June 6 to August 15 and then I can immediately sign up for a fall class.
Room drama: SP called JDLC a “bitch” through the window. The drama-stirrers built it up into a big issue so they may have a fight. I suggested to him that he remember what’s important: going home. We’ll see what happens.
Seems like SP and JDLC worked out their issue without a fight: smart. That way they’re not both bitches to the State of Nebraska longer than they have to be. Nebraska stirs the conflict because having inmates is profitable to them and to all the parasitic prison-adjacent industries (the ones that sell over-priced garbage to us captives and the ones that ones that use prison labor for almost nothing).
Finished marking up [project] plans with CTV, Wifi locations, wired-Ethernet, and phone outlets and put it back in the mail to mom.
RT asked me to call him CT instead since he saw I wasn’t going to call him by his prison name, S. Then after lunch when we were alone in the room, he asks “Do you think I’m attractive?” I was like “yeah” and then said “why did you ask that” and never really got an answer. I’m not sure if he asked because he thought I was acting weird around him for some other reason. Then I told him the story of how awkward things got in J3B when my roomies told BZ that I thought he was hot. RT is quite a hottie and funny w good personality. MMMM…..
Joined with JT, SP, and G to have rice and chicken for dinner. Started reading the “Sober for Good” book too – between updates on Roseanne’s new drama on CNN.
Thu, 31 May 2018 [245 + 485]
Read the assignment on motivation in Large Group. Went over fine.
Umm… “Craig says when we’re alone “Is it wrong that I want you?” I didn’t think I heard him right the first two times. It was kind of awkward because I was excited and wanted to jump up on top bunk with him and get under the covers with him. LOL. I said something like, “I want you too, but what can come of it here”. He said “yeah” and then silence for a bit, then I said “are you messing with me?” He said “no, definitely not.” Omg, he’s so adorable. I think I said that out-loud too. Crazy universe. And Cruel.
[Editor’s Note: Featured image is of Michael J Dermody, Corporal at Nebraska Prison System. He’s a sadist and a rapist of prisoners. Take a look at his Facebook posts (several of them reproduced in these journal entries) to give you an idea about his psychological disposition.]
Fri, 2 Mar 2018 [155 + 575]
Woke up by new bunkie, J, slamming his locker door and throwing his chair around the room. Then we all had to empty our lockers because [the police] are adding shelves to them.
The Trump dumpster fire is in full blaze. Cohn and McMaster are rumored on the way out. Ivanka under FBI investigation. More crazy tweets.
Had orientation yesterday afternoon. Glad this shit-show is moving along finally. Thiel is my primary counsellor and have classes M, T, Th, F at 705 and 805. Have to write a “life story” as the first assignment. Have appointment with counsellor on Friday, 03/09/2018.
Reentry at NDCS is bullshit. They haven’t met a single commitment in five months and admitted they falsity records. I am writing them off. I’ll find some other resources for what happens after the concentration camp; if I even leave here not as a bag of ash.
[Insert: handwritten task list]
Tried to call Jeremy twice – once at 1317 and again at 1528. Little weasel is probably avoiding my calls. Will try again on Monday.
Sat, 3 Mar 2018 [156 + 574]
Slept until almost noon and missed lunch. That’ll probably raise my life expectancy. Read “4 Major Revolutions of Though” in the World Heritage book. I had an idea in my long sleep about writing a book about Trump taking over the USA and turning it into a puppet Soviet state. Needs a lot of work for a plot. I wrote only an introduction, but might have potential.
Had a fleeting feeling of hope on the way to dinner – not sure what it came from or where it went to, but it’s gone now. It came after thinking this week, I’d start the phase that is now that is less than six months to the end (SAU) and then I can move to the final phase: work release. It probably rose from a discussion with AR about buying a CD-player or an MP3 player. AR questioned whether it was worth my investing in a music device given I would be in work release and could get any music device I wanted and this expenditure would be a waste. He couldn’t know what little reason I need to spend money and the few other things I enjoy more than devices and toys. But I liked his enthusiasm about the light at the end of this Nazi tunnel.
Have to write a “life history” for SAU. Started thinking about how to start that. First few attempts at an outline and concept devolved quickly into passive aggressive snark about the rotten souls of Nebraskans. Need to hide that… or at least pack it more subtlety into the story.
CNN found audio of Trump saying he might give “president for life” a try. Hopefully next week puts another nail in the coffin of his tragic presidency. Jared fired McMaster and Cohn resigning and maybe Tillerson resigning too.
Called DP earlier today. Not much news from him. Continued antagonism between the roomies here with the new roomie – J. He is kind of a bull in a China shop, but he reminds me of my brother a bit in physical features. He snores like a god damn freight train and shits on himself continuously.
Sun, 4 Mar 2018 [159 + 573]
Wrote a letter to HR last night. Need to write a few more today and start on that life history.
Condoleeza Rice on Fareed GPS. How can a smart, educated person be so damn stupid? The only negative thing she can see in Dumpster Fire Trump is his language is less than ideal. Everything else is fine. WTF?!?!
Chicken patty and tater-tots for dinner. Lettuce and carrot salad that WAS NOT ROTTEN!
Talked to mom and dad. They haven’t been able to start on foundation yet, but they think this week will be dry enough. D and B will be visiting K & C this week. Not much else new going on there. No word yet about withdrawing/closing my 401k.
Wrote my life history (11 pages), so at least that crap is done.
Mon, 5 Mar 2018 [158 + 572]
Had first small group class and recovery class. Seems like they’ll be pretty low key, but a lot of bullshit to put up with. In the recovery class Facilitator Graham (former alcoholic) described substance use as “not wanting to live life on life’s terms” (either as escapism or pleasure-seeking). Does that mean religion, Viagra, cigarettes, refined sugar should also be outlawed and users of those caged like farm animals? He also said seboxyn (sp?) was used to treat meth addiction. He is also a terrible speller (I say as I guess at the spelling of words… but he was misspelling basic shit). However, he seems like he will be a good facilitator. His arguments are very weak, but what other kind of arguments could you have when you’re supporting an evil cause. He seems more focused on helping with people who really have substance use disorders, so hopefully he sticks with that and not the corrupt purpose of the state. He lets people talk without judgment and invites inclusion in a two-way conversation. Have homework in the recovery class.
Stuck with a nasty-ass roommate. Was taking a nap around lunchtime and woke up to him pissing into a plastic cup. JDLC yelled at him to wait for the bathroom, but he kept going. After count I talked to UCM Carroll. She said she would “address it”.
Did the first homework for the “Recovery” class. I’m worried a bit that my answers won’t match the level of absolution destitution or horror-show they’re wanting to see. Need to ask the primary counsellor whether there are required answers that have to be given to get out of here.
Wrote to Jeremy to ask him for the bankruptcy attorney suggestions and to see if he could send me a copy of my resume from the packet I prepared for the judge pre-sentence.
Tue, 6 Mar 2018 [159 + 571]
Criminal and Addictive Thinking is going to be the worst. Logorrhea and an extreme form of anti-intellectual thinking. Help! May she who shall not be named die a miserable, pox-ridden death.
Created orders for headphones, CD-player, and a workout shirt and pants. Need to turn in my DEC headphones and radio first – going to do that tomorrow at Open Property.
Went to the library and submitted an interlibrary book loan request for any book on lambda calculus. They charge $2 to do the search. They process them between the 10th and 15th of each month.
The unit case manager talked to bunkmate J about pissing in the room. He’s so nasty. Apparently she also checked to make sure that he’s taking his anti-psychotic medication, which he told us he’d been cut off of by Medical because he was caught selling his pills. Brilliant logic by State of Nebraska! These are some Forest Gump level geniuses. Who knows if he’s telling the truth; but then the only ones here that lie more than an inmate is the staff.
Last night SP took someone’s blood pressure pills hoping he’d get high from it. There are some dumb bastards in here.
Wed, 7 Mar 2019 [160 + 570]
Turned in DEC headphones and radio. Turned in the three direct order forms. Replied to Reentry kite. They sent a reply yesterday saying that the person I had been talking to about help getting back to a professional job no longer works at the prison. Thus I will need to reexplain the entire series of threads to new person. I worked for a large Fortune 100 company for 26 years and so I have the patience (or more likely spite) to be even more persistent in the face of endless roadblocks. I can’t imagine how anyone without that training in obnoxiousness and laziness of roadblock-people navigates this system. No wonder there are some many people here wandering around resigned to so much inhumanity. They don’t have the fortitude or vocabulary for challenging the onslaught of stupid and belligerent that the badged-criminals put up.
Sent an IIR to Canteen yesterday asking for the address of the CD catalog provider. There was no one in the gym to ask.
Lazy bunkie keeps moving our trash can next to me so I have to breathe in the trash smell and disease from the trash can. I keep moving it back under the desk and away from the bed. He threatened to “smash my ass” over it. I think he’s also pissed that we keep making fun of how trashy that he is, i.e. pissing in plasticware in/around his locker.
They announced today that three people in prison have Influenza B.
R found me a CD order book. Found about 8 from the catalog and a list of a couple more I’m going to ask the special order guy about. R said he was in the gym on Tu and Th before 10am.
Thu, 8 Mar 2018 [161 + 569]
Small group was boring as shit again. Watched 1/3 of “Bill W” in Recovery class. Went to the gym to try and find out about buying CDs. The officer said to see the address on the back of the direct order book to buy a catalog. There is no one in the gym that helps with direct orders anymore.
Saw RR on the way back and ended up walking with him around the track for 45 minutes. Talked about old DEC people and our work-release plans.
Stopped at the library and filled out an inter-library loan request for “Anti-Intellectualism in American Life” by Richard Hofstadter (1963). Paid $2 for the request.
Nasty spaghetti, mixed/slop for lunch and cold, shitty-as-usual breakfast burritos and rotten lettuce for dinner.
Fri, 9 Mar 2018 [162 + 568]
Had “CAT I” at 805. Watched a video from a series that seemed to be oriented toward real criminals (not political/morals “criminals”). She handed out a hand-out that I guess we were supposed to fill out while simultaneously watching the movie. I can’t write and listen to multi-media at the same time to find gotcha-question answers. So I hurriedly wrote some stuff as she was collecting the others’ papers.
Met with Counsellor Thiel – he seems to be reasonable and helpful. He said that non-higher power/unmanageability treatment options are available. Good news. He will only be here for another month, though; hopefully his replacement is as good. He approved my life history for reading in the small group. He gave me a treatment plan with three universally-included items (some ASI inventory, a drug/alcohol history and 5 strengths/issues). I completed the last two and turned in to him. The first item we’ll do when the replacement joins us. Then we make an individualized treatment plan. I feel bad because I think he was trying to tell me something about himself and being gay and maybe something about a partner, and I didn’t care and kept the conversation moving forward on the topic. In another world I would have appreciated the gesture of sharing and been interested to hear his story about this partner, but I am in Hell and there is no room for compassion here.
Wrote to Weird Harolds to ask about a Broadway/Classical and Portishead CD catalog or specific CD ordering information.
Got a letter from KP. She sent some information about the Innocence Project. I think I need to take that suggestion and write a letter to the Nebraska Innocence Project. I am feeling a bit encouraged by the idea. It was nice to hear her say also that it is ridiculous for this sentence – and she’s been a prosecutor for 17 years.
By the way, it looks like the prison is opening my “legal” mail before it comes to me. Need to research if that is allowed. Guess it doesn’t matter: rules and laws are just for the little people. If you have more weapons and capacity for violence than the other person, you win and Nebraskans are definitely pro violence.
Sat, 10 Mar 2018 [163 + 567]
Feeling: down, exhausted. Slept away half of today yay! Only half a day more to go. Room was shaken down by a new officer (from CCCO). Ate room-made burrito for lunch. Was good, but my paranoia about next-day food that’s not refrigerated means I will throw the second one away. No one around to give it to. I don’t know how people can put a burrito with meat and beans and cheese in their locker overnight and eat it a day later. I can’t even eat it if it was four later. Dinner was a baked potato and extra-oily chicken-ish grease ball. The potato was decent
Betelgeuse was on earlier – 30 anniversary. Can’t believe it’s been 30 years since that piece of shit came out. Not really – I liked it. Beauty and the Beast was on Free Form. I love it! My third favorite musical. First: Wicked and 2nd: Les Mis.
Sun, 11 Mar 2018 [164 + 566]
Woke up around 830ish with UCW Benjamin waking my bunkie up for a PHO hearing. He was written up for not tucking in his shirt in the kitchen line by Rapist Dermody (featured image). He’s discussing ways to beat it with other roomies.
Excerpts from the Facebook Page of Sociopath Corporal Dermody
Got the response to my grievance on UCW Charrlin. It said “disciplinary action and misconduct reports are a non-grievable issue. However, the MRs that you are referencing (#8UZ6 and 8UYJ) were both dismissed. Your concerns about staff are noted. GR2018-2170. Shared with UCW Benjamin – he got a kick out of the grievance. It’s funny how they hyper-focus on one part of your grievance that they are very good at using as a smoke-screen to avoid the central issue. My grievance was about sadism, mental illness, and vindictive policing on the part of UCW Charrlin. They picked an ancillary sentence: about misconduct reports that she wrote out of anger on a person she well-knew was not present during the “swearing” episode. I was not grieving the fact that I received the misconduct report; it was evidence of her behavior, but that was enough for them to discard the whole grievance and wash their hands.
Called mom and dad – they got the plot for the house grazed off today – right before it started raining. No work on HSA or 401k checks. Mom is out of town this week. She might send me a book on building greenhouses to read for us to plan with.
Submitted canteen order for this week. Submitted refill for [medicine]. Shaved and showered. Ate dinner in the room – JT made fried rice. I need to learn how to make that – it’s good stuff.
Mon, 12 Mar 2018 [165 + 565]
JDLC, SP, and J kept the room up until about 3am with full-volume conversations about various stupid shit. Had class at 705am and read my life history. It was a bit anti-climactic; glad it’s over. There was a weird argument between the group leader and the facilitator Graham. He told Graham that he needed to talk less so we had a chance to talk more. It was awkward. He might have had a good point, but it was lost in the caustic and abrasive over-reaction.
Submitted an IIR to McCluskey for a job assignment.
Hilarious episode of the ‘The Middle’ – the parents create the “Wheel of Pain” to pick punished for one of the kids even though all of them were guilty in order to split them and force a confession. On the possibility she was caving, Mike says “Why did we do this then?” Frankie says “because we can’t hit them”.
Tue, 13 Mar 2018 [166 + 564]
Has 805 Criminal and Addictive Thinking class; what an irritating class. It is clearly designed for drooling degenerate criminals with no impulse control. It’s a challenge to not start banging my head against the cement block. I entertain myself by thinking to myself examples of the President’s and State of Nebraska’s behaviors that match their criminal and animal(?) behavior when she asks for examples.
Wrote a letter to mom. Asked for some books: (1) how to build a greenhouse, (2) lambdas in Java, (3) C++ for Java Programmers, (4) Android Programming, and (5) JNI.
Wed, 14 Mar 2018 [167 + 563]
Canteen day. Thought of an idea for our small group poster that was inspired by our president: a dumpster fire. I drew up a dumpster fire with alcohol bottles and a meth pipe and the head of Donald Trump and a blazing fire and then a road leading to pearly gates that says “Recovery” and a few people walking toward it. I showed it to the guy in our group coordinating the poster. He liked it except for the Donald Trump head in the dumpster.
Students across the country walking out of schools to protest the lack of adults in the country. Hopefully they shame some people to action, but I doubt it will.
Lasagna for dinner might have been good but not cold as hell. The bread however was definitely moldy. This place is shit – literally a prison meal of moldy bread and water. Nebraska taxpayers continue to be bilked by Corporal Dermody leaning against the corner of the beverage island, heals dug in, toes up – his only function apparently telling people to tuck their poorly-fitting shirts into their pants – a form of Sisyphean torture.
Excerpts from the Facebook Page of Sociopath Corporal Dermody
Got a reply from Jeremy; turns out he came through for me at least one time. [Editor’s note: turns out not to be true in a future entry]. He found me a bankruptcy attorney and sent me a copy of my resume. The bankruptcy attorney is Burke Smith of B.S. Law. I wrote him a letter asking if he could file my bankruptcy and to let me know how much. Made a list of things to try and collect for it (maybe 2017 tax info).
Watch Mel Brooks movies when I get out: Young Frankenstein, History of the World, Silent Movie, Blazing Saddles, (Hitler movie?).
Thu, 15 Mar 2018 [168 + 562]
Feeling pretty depressed today. Went to small group at 705am. We only talked about one guy’s life history, which involved the death of his friend while he was drunk driving. Coincidentally, he’s the one that got 3-5 years compared to my 4-6 years for private consensual drugs. 3-5 for ending a human life; 4-6 for private recreation in my own home. Those are some Nebraska values in practice right there, huh, Susan Strong, you whore. Anyway, his story was pretty sad – got to be hard to be in prison and have to deal with grief over killing one of your friends.
We watched the end of the ‘Bill W’ movie. James Wood is an asshole – even in the characters he plays. When it got to discussion time, I asked if there wasn’t an aspect of AA that is just “replacement” of one activity for another. He didn’t bite – he changed the question to “are there other programs” and answered that instead of my question. God I hate this place.
Slept the rest of the day for the most part. Roomies fighting over stupid shit all day. JDLC makes fun of J because he’s very overweight and still eats like a goddamn horse and stares anyone down when they have food or open a chip bag and starts a conversation about the person’s food with big puppy dog eyes hoping for an invitation to join them in eating their food. BR and AR fighting about something – I don’t even know what. In the course of the argument, BR called AR a ‘bitch’, which in prison is the most serious breach of social contract you can do with words alone – one that requires a violent response. AR did not respond – thankfully.
Got a reply from Reentry on resources for returning to a professional career. She referred me to a company called Reconnect 2 Success. I filled out the client portion of the application, attached my resume, and sent back to Reentry.
Sent a reply letter to JH.
Fri, 16 Mar 2018 [169 + 561]
Reaching the end of my patience with my bunkmate. He’s a gross piece of shit and he doesn’t care how noisy and disruptive he is while other people are sleeping. But he certainly gets pissy when he is slightly disrespected. Strangely, dumbass SP alone came to his aid when the rest of the room is calling him out saying “all this conflict is upsetting his sense of calm.” Like his sense of calm is important enough that the rest of us should suffer disruptions to our sleep to maintain. Porky was high on K2 and twerking and the real irritation is playing obnoxious music on headphones in speaker mode and singing along with it. Calling it singing is too generous.
Need to get out of this shithole. Have to remind myself that the real enemy of peace and justice is the State of Nebraska. These people are all experiencing the stress of being packing eight people into a room that is only big enough for one. I’m starting to get drawn into the various third-grade drama too frequently.
This morning in Criminal/Addictive Thinking I, we watched another stupid video designed for actual criminals as opposed to drug users in order to belittle us by the comparison. We ended class with an exercise of creating a “thinking report”. For mine, I did it on DJT: >> Event/Fact: “Watched president on CNN” / Thoughts: “This man is a total moron and makes me mad to think about how much he’s shamed us” / Feelings: Annoyed, worried / Behavior/Action: “yelled out an expletive about him in the cell” / Core belief: “A president should be of good character and measured speech” / Alternative thoughts: “Maybe he’s doing the best he can with his capabilities” / Alternative behaviors: “Write it in my journal instead of yelling” << Of course, I made up the ‘yelling’ behavior in order to complete the exercise. The instructor (Abbie) read it. I figured she might make me do a less inflammatory one, but she said nothing except “ok, good”.
My headphones came in, but not the CD-player or clothes.
Bunkmate makes set of oddly specific death threats: (1) after he gets out of prison, he is going to “rent an airplane and drop a few bombs on the place”; then a couple of minutes later, (2) maybe he will send letters with Anthrax to the his enemies here. “I feel sorry for the mailroom people,” he said. I think the Nebraskans can, unfortunately, rest easy, because he is far too lazy to implement anything requiring that much effort.
Sat, 17 Mar 2018 [170 + 560]
17 scaramuccis down, 56 to go. Last night bunkmate was threatening violence against unknown victims in his sleep. Need to let the staff know, I think about the terroristic threats yesterday. Not because I care about terrorism between him and terrorist-Nebraskans, but to get him away from the room.
Slept until 11am count. Great – day is half-way done already. Watched the end of an interesting movie, “Flight of the Doves”. It was an Irish-ish flick about two orphan kids trying to get to their grandmother. TCM played it in honor of St. Patrick’s Day.
Stephen Hawking died yesterday. Watched a few documentaries on him on Discovery and NET. I had read “A Briefer History of Time” in the library here. I need to read the original. He had a wife and two kids; the first wife eventually couldn’t deal with his health issues and life in the public eye. His second wife, one of his nurses, also couldn’t deal with the public eye – also an accusation that she was abusing him physically. I also learned that he was the one who unified quantum mechanics, Newtonian gravity, and thermodynamics by finding that black holes radiate energy and thus eventually die. Work = Force * distance = m?? = Delta-w kinetic energy?
Talked to DP. The first thing he brought up was that TF had asked about writing and wanted my address. I said it was OK to give it to him; although I’d just as soon that he didn’t write. He also said that J was working with him at the [employer] as their cook.
Started reading “Twelve Greatest Philosophies” Looks like it will be a good book. So many good books and not enough time. haha. I want to get a book on physics (work, electronics, quantum mechanics, simple machines, etc), electronics, machine languages, “A Brief History of Time” and Jim Comey’s new book.
Started working on my own philosophy of criminal justice. Crimes are modeled into three groups by source/justification: (1) crimes against humanity (crimes that deny our essential humanity, like deprivations of life and liberty), (2) crimes against civilization (crimes that detract from our ability to live together in large numbers), and (3) crimes of arbitrary morality/religious tents (crimes with no victims, crimes made up by bullshit artists, control freaks, “good Christian soldiers for the Lord” and other charlatans. (What was one quote about religion being created when the first fool met the first crook?).
Example of crimes of arbitrary morals: (a) crimes against principle sex only between a man and woman who are married (adultery, non-coercive prostitution, homosexual marriage, polygamy); (b) crimes against state-approved religions (e.g. heresy, witchcraft); (c) crimes related to non-physically addictive drugs (e.g. drug possession, sale, manufacture of weed, meth, LSD); (d) crimes related to physically addictive drugs (e.g. nicotine, alcohol, heroin/opioids; (e) crimes of sex being only for procreation (sodomy, elder-sex, homosexual sex, sex between sterile people, birth control), (f) thought crimes (pornography, political dissent)
Would like to keep working on this model, but what would be the purpose? what would make it interesting/useful to anyone else? Is there already such a similar model or better model?
Sun, 18 Mar 2018 [171 + 559]
Slept until 1130am – good, another half day. Called mom and dad. They had exciting updates on the house. They have the foundation scraped out and just finished in time for more rain today. They are ready for setting blocks when it is dry again. Two weeks and they’ll have some west coast visitors (J&M) and I think G&D too. No word from bank or Optum on my 401k or HSA money. Mom will call on Monday to check on them. Mom asked again about the May visit. I promised to find the answer by the next phone call.
Saw the most scammy commercial I’ve ever seen on TV before: Miracle Water (peterpopoff.org). No surprise that I would see such a thing in Nebraska.
We had sloppy joes for lunch. I ate one bite and had taken the second bite when I was setting the burger down on my plate, I saw a huge gob of mold in the center. I spit out the bite I had still in my mouth. The soup also had a rotten taste to it, so threw the whole goddamn tray in the dishes. Burn in Hell, Susan Strong, you in-bred Nebraskan.
Mon, 19 Mar 2018 [172 + 558]
Forgot to write about being assaulted last Thursday at like 530am by a brownshirt guard with a piss fetish. I never heard back from him if he enjoyed it or not – guess that’s good news.
Someone did a reading about Fear in small group. He mentioned fear about asking for help and fear talking to his parents because they didn’t understand his addiction. A few people said some things that were kind of off-topic in my opinion. One of them turned to me to try and force a contribution. I said fear is a valuable tool. Anthropologically it told us we needed to make a flight or fight decision. In modern times, it might be telling us we need more preparation. If you fear a public speaking event, you might need to prepare more (make note cards, practice on a safe audience); if you fear a phone call, also make note cards, or write a letter. The group leader said “you nerd”. A few more exchanges before the conversation devolved into a gripe about the newest generation being disrespectful and the world being a cesspool, unlike the rest of human history which was peaceful and totally respectful.
Watched a video and had discussion on spirituality in the Recovery class. The video was kind of unscientific as was the discussion. They said it’s not about a religion, but it certainly seems like it is still a religious centerpiece, just using generic names. The woman on the tape was basically describing an imaginary friend. The people in the video kept saying “leave it to my higher power” about anything that they didn’t want to have to work to solve themselves. Are we trying to culturally remove our ability to deal with adversity by assigning the work and responsibility to a “higher power” or is that what we’ve always done.
Got some answers from UCM Carroll about visits (special visits each month), job assignment (check with Shademan) and work release (she said send an IIR to CCCO).
The media kiosks were online today. Setup password, requested transfer of money from inmate account ($200) and sent email invites to mom, dad, and KP.
Hot new CO here today… I like…. yummmmmm.
Tue, 20 Mar 2018 [173 + 557]
Called mom to let her know about the visit rule (can do one special visit each month). She said she already asked for time off for Fri – Sun before Memorial Day weekend. Need to submit special visit requests. Got a couple books from her from Amazon. (Java Lambdas and Embedded Programming on Android). Got a letter from B & K.
Wed, 21 Mar 2018 [174 + 556]
Got a pass for a doughnut at 9am from the SAU staff. CD player and clothes came in at canteen today. Started new job yesterday – laundry cart sorter.
Forget the biggest news of all from yesterday – Bunkie J got kicked out of SAU and therefore our room for mental health issues. Hopefully he does get some help (it certainly won’t get it in Nebraska) and hopefully we don’t get anyone worse than him – seems not possible; but every day in Nebraska brings new depths.
Ordered a 7″ table ($129), but it said it could take up for 45 days. That’s ridiculous.
A bunch of people left SAU today (graduated).
Roommates made some good fried rice for afternoon meal (skipped lunch and probably dinner). After 4pm count, SP was rubbing JDLC’s feet and CO Kowalski saw it and said it was weird. Then UCM Carroll came through and commented on it. (Her partner is a big girl who works over at CCCO apparently). She said “I’m gay and even I think that is weird – in a prison anyway.” It wasn’t really that weird, but probably more of a security issue after those two if it got around.
Finished the chapter on political philosophy in “Philosophy Made Simple”. Started the Logic chapter.
No mail today – well, as far as I know. The mail process is as ridiculous as all the others here. Like the rule that says you can’t use the “religious box” for making friend rice. Why? What if it’s religious rice or eating friend rice is part of the practice of my religion? Is it an institutional or inmate safety issue… no. Is it a hygiene issue? nah, they sort of lack any credibility on food hygiene. Religious mumbo-jumbo reason? Maybe. Pettiness? Definitely. Thanks in-bred Nebraska Judge Susan Strong.
Thu, 22 Mar 2018 [175 + 555]
Small group was mostly about how parole is a trap. It’s designed to torture you by requiring you to stay sober under intense stress (narrow swim lanes, significant expenses (transfers of personal wealth to the state that profits from your situation), and significant time-intensive and geographically-disparate program requirements). Ankle monitors (sometimes on each leg) that cost $12/day and that prevent you from wearing or coming into contact with cologne, mouthwash, and certain other everyday chemicals. They have to be charged or d??d wherever you are so you have to stop and plug yourself into the wall. They beep during meetings and work time. Your parole officer may call and say “come meet me in this nearby city right now”, jeopardizing your job, which jeopardizes your parole) and find transportation to the parole officer.
[Insert: doodles, math calculating the %completion for each day here to be 0.136986%]
Recovery class was another 80s movie that lacked any credibility of academic or scientific validity. “The Wall of Denial” by R. Zumwalt. Some phases lack the feature of refutability required by science: “you are not open to criticism” or “you are in denial”. Nothing can be said to dispute their correctness; any reply is automatically received as proof of denial. Also noticed that all their examples of drug use are from people who say they’re motivated to use drugs to mask pains or to hide emotional traumas; they never bring up drugs for the sake of health reasons (meth for weight loss), recreation, spiritual awakenings, or new ways of thinking (Steve Jobs; Native American peyote use). Am I in denial in thinking of these things? By the rubric of this 80s video: yes. By a scientific one: maybe. Need to ponder more on this. Am I establishing my own propositions that are non-refutable? What if C-A-T really spelled dog? (since we’re giving credibility to 80s movies anyway…)
Another thing I hate is how those 80s videos keep saying drug use is solely selfish behavior. While I was using I never stole anything from anyone else; I organized a large family reunion (>200 people from 10+states), volunteered on various genealogy website (Find-A-Grave, Ancestry), volunteered for GLSEN, etc. I did not neglect my family or friends – at least not anymore than at various times in life when I wasn’t using drugs. I did let some friendships lapse for lack of care and feeding. What that selfish? In the history of the world, has no person let a friendship lapse without drugs? It seems that these programs trap you psychologically by matching experiences you had while on drugs with their general principles, but really these experiences also happen when you’re not on drugs and to people who have never done drugs. Can I “recover” from meth use with out adopting these anti-intellectual/false principles and amateur mind games?
Can someone be successful at recovery by shunning all these poorly-thought through moral or health arguments against drug-use and focusing solely on the item of singular importance: simply that it is illegal? Even if the state’s choice of what “life aids” are illegal or legal is arbitrary and capricious, it is what it is in law now and for that reason alone, I need to stay away from meth. Or is that the non-refutable denial?
The curriculum here is akin to reparative therapy or being bled to “restore the balance of humors”.
H.R. McMaster fired. John Bolton, war criminal from the Bush II days, to replace. Karen McDougal gives interview of her adultery with Donald Trump. DJT Jr getting a divorce – ha. Horrible people getting what they deserve. Hope in-bred judge gets some karma too. Another citizen summarily executed by militarized police: Stevante Clark. Shot 20 times in his grandmother’s backyard holding a cellphone in Sacramento. 22 years old, no weapon.
Fri, 23 Mar 2018 [176 + 554]
A pox on Judge Susan Strong, Liar and Betrayer of Justice.
Starting reading “Anti-Intellectualism in American Life”. Loving it so far.
Had a discussion with JH about SP. It seems that he lacks the capability of taking care of himself. He’s like 26 years old, but has the maturity of a 16 year old and a very low intelligence/wisdom score. He’s been in Nebraska prison for six years. JH thought it was for weed possession. I wonder what his maturity and IQ/EQ were back when he came into prison! Nebraska seems to have done nothing to make sure he acquired any life skills that one would normally acquire between leaving high school and adulthood while holding him in captivity for those years. He doesn’t know how to clean up after himself and lacks the self-respect or initiative to do it. He can barely read and write and has almost no logic skills; though he’s oddly capable with mechanics and minor electronics repair/tinkering. Perhaps it’s all an elaborate ruse. He has awkward socialization toolset, including odd giggling when presented with serious information from others. He does almost anything anyone tells him to do (e.g. massaging JDLC’s feet, taking the blame for drugs belonging to others,…) He has been stuck in prison system for years longer than he should have (13-18 failed UAs in a row). Shame on the State of Nebraska for ruining a kid’s life. Thus is the character of Nebraskans.
Nebraska accused of purchasing murder drugs (Midazolam) to conduct state-sponsored murders from sources using deception. ACLU is suing. Would like to follow this issue. Ask B to sign me up in the NE ACLU website for news? I wonder if the state employee who tried to conduct this drug buy will get 4 – 6 too? HAHAHA.
Count didn’t start until almost 5pm and even by 545pm we still were locked down and not allowed to use the bathroom. Nebraskans lack honor and humanity. The miserable bitch on our unit could say nothing but “go back to your room” as we were not allowed to pee for over two hours! Count started at 4pm (although it was impossible for most people to use the bathroom even earlier than that given there are only three places to piss for over 48 people and I didn’t get to pee until 6:04pm. Rumor mill in the lunch room was that it was locked down for a medical emergency. You’d think going to the bathroom would be one of those things covered by the Geneva Convention. I’m sure good old Nebraska would find a way around it, even if it was.
Dinner was decent when we finally got it: a hamburger, hard baked beans, sour cream & onion chips and only an only-partially decomposed apple. Oh, plus the best part, an ice cream sandwich. That must have been a donation because it expires in three days. Burn in the 9th Circle of Hell, Demon Susan Strong.
Sat, 24 Mar 2018 [177 + 553]
I wonder if Voodoo Dolls work?
Slept most of the day. Talked to mom and dad. Been too wet to do much on the house. Dad is going to hire a crew to help law the foundation blocks. The HSA and 401k people didn’t accept the second POA either. She’s going to send me the letters and I’ll write them directly.
Sun, 25 Mar 2018 [178 + 552]
Start of SAU week #4. Told BRD about my book idea. He told me the story of a guy who had moved out of Nebraska and one day was stopped for traffic violation and they arrested him for a warrant in Nebraska. He said in county jail for a year or so, lost his house, his job, and in the end they gave him a fine and less jail time than he had already spent in the county jail. It’s a vindictive, ridiculously petty state that will ruin someone’s life with not a shred of thought about the value of it and waste their own taxpayer’s money housing them for years. For what? It certainly does not qualify as justice. I think it’s more about milking their taxpayers.
Perhaps mention the various bills Nebraskan legislators have debated on TV, like no courtroom rights for young adults to be able to emancipate from toxic parents, or to give taxpayers money to religious private schools, or to require a state registry for people who are allowed to massage horses in the state!! (that’s real – I watched it!)
Seems like Senator McCarthy was born about 60 years too early. Now our government really is infiltrated by Russian puppets and there’s no one to investigate it. Bolton as NSA shown to have given speeches to/for Russian oligarchs between leaving as Ambassador to UN and now.
Don’t drink the water in Nebraska – it tastes like algae. Also, they don’t know how to do clean plumbing in Nebraska. Every drain in the state that I’ve encountered smells like the decay of humanity. Not a causal whiff if you get too close, but an overwhelming slap across the face from across the room with something like an elephant house crossed with a cemetery.
80k metric tons of garbage now in the Pacific trash “city”. It’s now like 2x or 3x the size of France. A big chunk is fishing nets and debris from the 2011 tsunami in Japan.
Started some draft writing on a letter to the Innocence Project. Watched the Stormy Daniels episode of “60 Minutes”. Watched newest episode of the “The Kennedy’s” and “The Pope” and “Trust” (Getty Family Saga).
Mon, 26 Mar 2018 [179 + 551]
Discussed topic of judgment in small group – judgment of categories and stereotypes being unfair and unhelpful. I added in response to A that all judgment was not bad; judgment of an individual based on their own character or behavior is prudent. Even judgment of an individual on characteristics of their group is prudent, if that individual chooses participation in the group of his/her own free will and will full knowledge of the characteristics and behaviors of that group. It’s only the judging of individual people based on characteristics and behaviors of groups that they have no choice being in that is unfair and unwise. I said something else again alter, but can’t remember what it was. Oh, yeah… it was about “reframing” time spent hiding or smoking cigarettes in a car by someone afraid of going into their house to deal with a stressful situation as “recharge” or “preparation” time. Instead of beating yourself up for not doing something as fast as someone else’s judgment thinks you should do something. I hate control freaks/Nebraskans. These are some of the worst human being alive – who are they to tell others how the should conduct their affairs. It’s the blind and trashy leading the powerless.
The Recovery class was a video about the impacts of drug, alcohol, cigarettes, and over-eating having on the 11 systems of the body: (1) skeletal, (2) muscular, (3) lymphatic, (4) integumentary, (5) digestive, (6) respiratory, (7) cardiovascular, (8) nervous, (9) urinary, (10) reproductive, and (11) endocrine). At least this was a subtle acknowledgement that the law doesn’t have any connection or authority over what’s right or healthy. It’s just about control. They could have mentioned one of Nebraska’s main exports to the world as in the same category as unhealthy and addictive: high fructose corn syrup or Nebraska’s recent (illegal) import: Midazolam (a murder drug). But still – progress.
Tue, 27 Mar 2018 [180 + 550]
Had to get up at 6am to give blood. They said it was in advance of physical with a Dr. Ogden next week. Two vials of blood and 25cc of piss.
18 scaramuccis down, 55 to go.
Alton Sterling, a black man, was executed by Baton Rouge police officers Howie Lake II and Blane Salamoni in August 2016. No charge will be brought against murders Lake and Salamoni by KKK-AG Jeff Landry.
Steroid-head from room A2 got pissy after we sorted laundry today because some of the bags had fallen onto the floor because there were so many and they weren’t picking them up. I told him they fell when his roommate came to get the first armful of bags, which wasn’t true. He started or continued his rant without reacting to my speaking that to him, so I just walked away and came back after he took a load of them to his room.
Criminal and Addictive Thinking class was ridiculous as usual. That class is designed for fifth-graders; it also suffers from its foundation in erroneous conflation of criminality with drug use. I think that has been discarded by modern scholarship – in the same dustbin as leeching and reparative therapy.
Lopes, the heroin-addict CO is here tonight. He is very weird – definitely something going on there. He is beautiful though!
Wrote IIR to refill [medicine] and [medicine]. Also wrote a second one requesting jugged water because water on the unit has algae in it and that is bad for my health. We’ll see what happens.
Roommates are having a debate over which one of them is the dumbest based on who can spell the best or worst. I think SP will win their contest. I’m not sure it’s really all dumbness – probably a bit of severe attention deficit with a side of learning disability.
I love Stephen Colbert’s “Steve Mnuchin” impression – makes me laugh until I cry. Watergate-guy Ben-Veniste said Trump’s new nickname in Washington is “Sparky”.
“No man is a hero to his valet” (David Gergen)
Wed, 28 Mar 2018 [181 + 549]
My IIR for a jug of clean water was denied – said “work with unit staff”. UCW Shademan thought it was pretty funny, as did P.
Wrote an action plan last night per the instructions of Omdinger/Thiel at the last primary counsellor meeting. Had four objectives from each of the mind, body, and spirit domains (another mind/spirit). Handed it to Omdinger at 958am on Wed. Also, a tornado drill this morning.
Talked to UCM Carroll about the algae in the water. Took my cup with water from the machine that had a strong and obvious smell of algae. She seemed receptive to getting it fixed. I offered to do a test to verify if it was the water side, the ice side, or both.
Talk to RR at the track for about an hour. Seems like 1 year of parole is going to be correct. Maybe even 8 mos with some special 10 days for every 30 days rule – just need to see if that applies to the inter-state compact transfers. It feels good to be planning for leaving this Hellscape; but then hope dies again quickly when I remember how much time is left.
Still no reply from that goddamn bankruptcy attorney or Weird Harold’s CD place. Fuck them.
Thu, 29 Mar 2018 [182 + 548]
“Beware of (things?) cloaked in religion or the flag for they more often cloak despots than (patriots?) – uncredited, but spoken by NE Senator Schumacher on NET NE legislature debates where they debated whether to require Civics/”Americanism” education and testing.
Small group was a bitch session about not getting sent to the next facility of choice. No one wants to go to W.E.C. One member of the group refused WEC transfer this morning because he wanted to go to CCCO. Recovery class was all about a movie called “The Neurochemistry of Recovery and Relapse”. It was actually decent and seemed fairly updated. Must have been some accident at the central office to get something made after 1953.
Woman kills three people in Omaha and get’s probation (Douglas County) – Rhonda Boyco? Beauceau? Follow-up on this. Was she wealthy? Was she a friend of a judge, lawyer, or cop? Cunt Judge Susan Strong who barked about justice should explain how drug use gets you 4 -6 years and multiple homicide: nothing.
Rick Wilson, Republican strategist about Trump’s wall samples in California: “douche-henge”. Re: Trumps’ second attempt to say he’s already started building the wall with tweets of pictures from a repair project.
New bunkmate arrived today. OMG – eye candy central. Straight, it seems; but I love him anyway. 😛
Jim Gaffigan on a second child: “it’s like drowning and then someone throws you … a baby”. (as told by guy on late night with James Corden). About Trump: quos Deus vult perdere, prius dementat.
Fri, 30 Mar 2018 [183 + 547]
CAT I is such a stupid class. There is no getting around it. Mmmm… bunkmate is so yummy. The kitchen dropped a whole bin of chicken while I was in the lunch line. I wonder which unit will get served that gross mess. You know they won’t through it out, like they should
Almost forgot about the funniest thing today. I was awoken by BRD hollering at SP, who had gotten up early for his turn at cleaning day. But he used the bathroom mop instead of the “cell” mop. The hollering was loud and over the top but SP dealt with it pretty calmly (mostly). Anyway, when I got up, I saw SP looking defeated and mumbling about the chastisement, so I tired to him up with a “<sniff> why does it smell like piss in here?” Of course, he didn’t get the joke at first, so I explained I was giving him a hard time about the mop mistake. Later in the morning, when he and BRD were in the room and SP was being dumb about something else, I brought up the “smell of piss” again. This time he just grinned, but BRD caught it and relived it again, but was a little more moderate in temperament. SP made the statement “well, I didn’t know you had to look at special symbols on the mop” to discern their purpose. I started laughing and said those “special symbols” are letters and you put them together and get words and the words form sentence and thoughts…” BRD cracked up and SP got it after a few minutes too. So that has been the joke all day “special symbols” are all around us. Truth be told, I didn’t realize that there was a mop labeled “cell” and one labeled “bathroom” either, so I couldn’t fault SP.
Bunkie was from Portland too. He was going from Portland to Virginia with weed and heroin and a gun and he was previous felon and he got 4-5 years. AHHHHHHHH. Susan Strong, you despicable whore.
Sat, 31 Mar 2018 [184 + 546]
PBS News Hour from today had an interesting article where they interviewed a NASA water expert. Dismal news for the future: more hydrological extremes: more flooding, more droughts, more forest-fires, more hurricanes. All those will bring more civil unrest as places deal with these catastrophes. More ‘Day 0’ issues like Cape Town deals with.
Hot bunkmate talked a bit about himself. He was living in Portland too and went on a trip back to his family in VA with marijuana and heroin. He had a flat tire and NE state trooper, instead of offering help, called for a drug dog. He lived around the Fredericksburg. He liked Vegas a lot too.
Talked to mom and B. She sent a card with pictures last week – so should be getting here soon. She sent my 401k information earlier this week and will send the HSA information this week. They are going to be pouring the foundation on Monday. They’ll be moving into K&C’s cabin by May 1st so they can sell their house. PD will be there to help her with some packing.
My roomie JF gave me an idea to make Thai noodles by mixing some peanut butter in the cup of soup. It was really good!!
