Blog

Wed, 1 Aug 2018 [307 + 423]

It is BP’s birthday today. Trump’s ICE dept says concentration camps for children are like “summer camps”. They are sick – in the mind and in the soul. Looks like David Gregory is on CNN now – good. I like his seeming-less biased journalism.

Community Meeting stupid as per specifications. Ms. Bless called for roll. 22 new people. Apparently one guy (T) started out in third phase (and was not previously kicked out in the third phase). The whole program is a fraud.

That asshole friend of AT’s, J, was removed from the program. Supposedly his roommate A told on him. Bunch of retards – and the inmates too. Apparently now the story is he told a guard that was going to beat up A.

CT made chocolate cake with Butterfinger sprinkles from ingredients I bought for the affair: good stuff! BP made some hot pockets. It was good too – maybe a little greasy. Sure beats the nasty, disease-ridden shit that the kitchen had to offer.

Charrlin, rotten bitch, is helping on the unit. She is a horrible human being, if you can call her that. In my book I’m going to give her the name “Case Worker Charmin,” because she gives everyone the shits. I would love to expose her for the demon she is. She was doing count and saw food in the “religious” container and started making a deal out of it. SP took ownership of the container, but this is ridiculous. Why is Nebraska endorsing religious objects and then deciding how those religious objects are used? Either the plastic tote is a fucking safety, sanitation, or security issue or it is not.

Watching new show “The Sinner” on USA (ch 27). Looking good so far. Talked to mom and dad earlier: things are moving along with the project. They are moving into the KC’s cabin until they can move in. Submitted phone update earlier today to add TH. Finished Chapter 2 of Theory of Justice.

Talked to UBM Carroll today about graduating SAU. She said she would be having everyone into her office next week to plan out those moves. She also didn’t have the specific list of parole meetings yet. She said those would be out only a week or two before the meeting, so too early on those. Seems like they’re pushing people out pretty fast, so that’s good.

At least some good news about Trump dumpster fire. Paulie Numnutts is going through trial #1 and Trump’s behavior is increasingly erratic.

Thu, 2 Aug 2018 [308 + 422]

Large Group was kind of interesting. We started to talk about honesty and whether it was really always the best policy or always owed. I said that it was not owed to everyone. Apparently the state agrees with me: they’re not honest about their racist policies; they’re not honest in the dispensing of what they call “justice”; they’re not honest in the purposes of unreasonable searches and seizures; they’re not honest in their dealing with suppliers of drugs used to murder people; and I could go one.

Relapse II was also kind of interesting. We talked about transportation, resumes, and interviewing skills.

Nasty skank and mentally ill case worker Charrlin is here again tonight. She is probably the most unrepentantly sadistic guard at the facility. Dermody might be a bigger rapist, but you can tell he knows enough to be ashamed of it and he tries to hide it. Charrlin is like a wild animal – no remorse or even an awareness of what kind of trash she is.

Tried calling TH and it turns out the degenerate Nebraskans did get him added today. Talked to him for about 15 minutes. He said he never received the visitor setup form, so I got a second latter with the form ready to mail tomorrow.

Can’t remember if I wrote here that I put in a request for a dental appointment for October 4th. I head that active dental appointments are a block for going to WEC since there is no dental services out there. Plus I was denied earlier request for a teeth cleaning because I must have been here for a year before I can see a dentist. I was also denied seeing a dental services at DEC because they ran out of time at my original trip to the dental services office and they refused to reschedule it. It was like two days ago that I sent it, but no response so far. Also, no response on why the promised regular doctor visit did not occur in July.

Watching “Men in Black II” on AMC. Oh, at lunch today, my roommate JD was making an elaborate rice dish at the shared microwave. While he was stirring the rice, I asked if I could put my cup of salmon flakes in for 30 seconds (he was blocking the microwave, but his dish was out of it while he was tending to it). He said “nah, once you start rice, you can’t stop”. This is the guy I was nice enough to buy taffy-making ingredients for each week. No worries: persona non grata.

PF, AJ, and C called me over to their table in the dayroom to help them with their job and interview questions for tomorrow. So I have them my advice and suggestions for how to prepare for the real world scenarios, not necessarily for the stupidity of this class.

Fri, 3 Aug 2018 [309 + 421]

Been pissy all day. I loaned CT my hair trimmers and he let other people use it. Gross. One of them i someone I can’t stand (JF). Oh well, need to let it go – kind of childish.

New guard on the unit this afternoon. No mail again -wtf is going on with my 401k check?!? Nothing from the IRS or FedLoan yet (no rush there). Nothing from HR. Too soon to have a reply from Jeremy or the Innocence Project. God damn it. Nothing from UNO either. Nothing from the dentist either.

Sat, 4 Aug 2018 [310 + 420]

31 scaramuccis down, 42 to go.

Last night had a room search. The little prick who did it just threw our stuff around like garbage. He ruined papers and magazines and bent books. Bunch of degenerate Nebraskans. I complained and asked for a staff damage report. GT got written up for having the butter from the kitchen in his locker.

Got replies from Medical this morning. They will investigate the mix-up with the doctor – no answer so far. LOL, they won’t shift their fat asses away from the Netflix display. On the dental appointment, they said to resend the request in October. Scumbags.

Earlier I was thinking of writing about the concept of language-stretching. People, systems, model developers stretch language to keep their models simpler than they should be so they can fit it on posters, Facebook memes, or cracker-jack/fortune cookies. Here is an example I just saw on NET: “Prison is involuntary, unless it’s for failure to pay child support and then it’s voluntary. That defies the real meaning of those words in order to avoid correcting whatever consequence was to be conditioned on the voluntary/involuntary question. It’s a convenient trick of words and models, but the stretching of language allows someone else to further stretch to meet their own short-term goals while fairness, accuracy, and legislative authority are lost to authoritarianism.

BP smells like shit – rotten eggs and shit today. He even gagged the guard Abbott. God damn you, Susan Strong. Burn in Hell.

Firing Line has Jordan Peterson on – anti-identity politics. He says we don’t find deep meaning in impulsive pleasures or ????, but in responsibilities. Some kind of crisis in men regarding their place in society. Hmmm.. Seems like kind of a douchebag, but still some interesting discussion topics. He’s Canadian – strange to hear of a right-wing Canadian. Compelled speech illegal for government to impose on individuals, though is OK in some cases to impose on corporations. Words are a shared, community-negotiated mode of communications. It can’t be dictated to others by individual fiat

Sun, 5 Aug 2018 [311 + 419]

Burn in Hell, Susan Strong.

Lazy day. Slept until 12:30-ish and then been watching PBS: “The Last Dukes” and now the series “History’s Detectives”. I think the latter is a regular Sunday show; I’m going to try and catch it in the future. There was stuff on the suffragette movement and my relative Elizabeth Cady Stanton.

Found out from PG that the names of the places that donate moldy and rotten food to the prison are: Panera, Sierra Francis, Outdoor Mission, and Hyvee. I hope to name and shame them for their inhumanity.

Wrote the Step-2 Grievance and put under Liar Ellinger’s door after dinner count release.

Sent an IIR to Educate asking about attending school on work release.

Mon, 6 Aug 2018 [312 + 418]

Cute (but stupid) kid from Room 5 is KC and he’s now in the 7am large group. He’s so adorable, but something really wrong with his judgment skills. Also made it known that they should start finding a new Resident’s Council representative.

Relapse class slightly less stupid than usual since the visiting supervisor was there instead of Ms. Bless.

Got the address for the Lancaster Co Clerk and wrote him a letter to try and get a current receipt showing that I have no outstanding balance. Wrote mom an email asking her to setup an email account for [project] as JG will need that to setup a Google Voice account.

UCM Carroll had our class’s day of disclosing our goals for after SAU. I said I wanted to be put into queue for community custody ASAP. Risky choice since that might mean being sent to WEC since I would have > 1 year as opposed to waiting for reclassify until October when I have less than one year and would most likely go direct to CCCO. Although PF seems to still think we could get sent there. Hoping the dental appointment or the UNO class keeps me in Omaha. I think I’m going to roll the dice. I can’t take this place much longer.

Changed my mind. I went and told her to wait on putting me in for work release until October. That way, I’ll have less than a year and less likely to go to WEC. Plus I’ll be closer to being locked into a fall MCC class. And I’ll definitely be here for mom’s visit. Hopefully that is a less risky choice.

The usual room conversations: drug selling, gang-banging, and pussy. Today, AT, and S mixed it up with some ‘chimo’ talk. AT admitted to multiple brushes with pedophilia (once on Facebook and once with the daughter of a “home girl”) while S wanted to force a chimo to self-castrate at gunpoint and several other sadistic fantasies just as deviant as the “chimo’s” own deviance and probably a protest-too-much cover for his own actual motives. Then, with no irony or self-awareness, they switch to talking about being Christians. I guess if they meant Nebraskan “Christians”, they’re right on the money.

Tue, 7 Aug 2018 [313 + 417]

I hope Paul Manafort goes to prison for 307 years. Douchebag who brought Trump to the presidency.

Class was cancelled AGAIN today. Thank God for that. No daily Stupid today. Asked UCM Carroll if it would be possible to make an aided phone call to [employer] to get my 401k money withdrawn. She said she would ask Ellinger tomorrow.

S was talking about cheating on his wife and AT joined in to say the same thing. These are two people who were calling themselves Christians yesterday. Damn, I’m so ready to get out of this place. I have to keep my mouth shut or I’m going to get killed.

Watching “Animal Kingdom” and a new series on TBS called “Wrecked”. So far not impressed, but I might make myself watch it so I have something to do at the 9pm/Tue timeslot. Funny that I spent most of my post-high school adult life trying to limit the number of serial shows I watched at any given time. Now I’m desperately trying to have something to look forward to on TV at every hour of the day to give myself something to plan for and look forward to. Perhaps I’m craving regularity or purpose or maybe it’s a way of “speeding up” the passage of time by distraction. Now I need to keep occupied for all of September in that way as I won’t have the two hours of SAU treatment work a week to occupy my time.

Wed, 8 Aug 2018 [314 + 416]

“T” is KC. He said in Large Group that his drug of choice was “LSD and MDMA”. He is not smart – that’s OK.

UCM Carroll handed me back my Step-2 Grievance and said I had to mail it into the main office. Got an envelope and will put it in office mail after 11am count. She didn’t say anything about the request to use the outside telephone line to call [employer].

Canteen was out of RTE meals for purchase. Fucking stupid Nebraskans – how can you screw up the task of Ordering so bad. You have to be pretty fucking dumb to mess up something so trivial or extremely hateful, if it was purposeful. It’s very likely a combination.

Had a good chat with dad. Asked him if he saw that “his buddy” was arrested in NY for insider trading (he can’t stand the guy). He said he was taking a quick lunch then back to work on the project. The HVAC guy was coming today.

Submitted two library requests: (1) book on Kant’s political/moral systems, and (2) book on punishment and responsibility (philosophy of).

UCM Carroll said she would help me call [employer] tomorrow morning about my 401k retrieval. Yay! She’s a real human being. I supposed the prison goes along with it because they see the income potential in it.

Thu, 9 Aug 2018 [315 + 415]

Large Group over – only three left. They still haven’t picked a replacement for Resident’s Council. Hopefully on Monday they’ll take the folder and have someone else attend next week’s council.

UCM Carroll helped me call [employer] but they couldn’t help me because I couldn’t remember my HR PIN number and the only way to reset the PIN required a mobile phone to text it to. HAHAHA. As I left I had the idea of trying another time to submit a POA – this time use one with the help of Legal Aid here. Indeed they did have a much simpler one (less dates embedded in the document). So I filled that out today and put myself on the list for a notary.

CT noted that the asshole guard working tonight looks like Alfred E. Neuman from Mad magazine. Haha, it’s true!!

Talked to mom. Exciting progress on the project. She and B will be coming to visit in three short weeks!

Fri, 10 Aug 2018 [316 + 414]

Graham took over the Special Issues class. He basically confirmed that we were royally ripped off (ha); Ms. Bless didn’t do half of the learning objectives for this class. There will be no visit from the Parole Dept, no visit from the work release team, and no visit from the Health Dept. We filled out a goal worksheet and a resume with an explanation letter, but there was no discussion about it and they never even looked at it. That plus about 12 – 15 pages of various papers that that were assigned, completed, and collected, but no review or feedback was given on them, Complete waste of time. Rumor has it that Ms. Bless has been in court, possibly regarding KM’s case/circumstances.

Ate at the kitchen for lunch. Mac ‘n Cheese was passable as food. The cucumbers were fresh and actually good. Surprise! The fish, though, was over-the-top grease sponge. Once I scraped off all the oil, fat, and grease of the coating, there was probably less than a teaspoon of actual fish (or whatever alleged animal yielded that meat). Have diarrhea, but in fairness to this particular meal, it’s been a run-on for several days now. Remember to order more Pepto.

Watched “The Pink Panther” (1964) on This!Omaha. I missed #2 (Trail of the Pink Panther). Watching #3 (Return of…) now. “Curse of…” and “Son of…” are also on tonight, but they run until like 3:30 in the morning and not sure if I can stay up that late. I have so much to do tomorrow – LLOLOLOLOLOL.

Sat, 11 Aug 2018 [317 + 413]

Slept in until 8:40. I couldn’t sleep anymore, unfortunately. It was so cold and I had to pee badly. There is apparently a limit to much much I can sleep. Got a bit list of tasks for today so need to get started anyway. Only 11 days left of SAU and getting very close to the 400 days left mark in captivity. If the end is real…

According to PF these are the places that are sending their rotten and moldy food to Nebraska prisons: Panera, Sierra Francis, Outdoor Mission. I know Hyvee does as well.

Sent some emails to mom about book requests, some equipment that we’ll need for [project], and some of my ideas for it too.

Sun, 12 Aug 2018 [318 + 412]

Not much happened today. Watched Downton Abbey again. Got a reply from TH about that breakfast place in Cincinnati. It was called Grand Finale. Replied to TF’s email asking about travel info to West Coast – good places to visit and such.

Got a really good quote for my book on the topic of false claims of justice by Susan, the Unjust Whore. It’s on page 386 of Theory of Justice. I copied it into my notes for the book. Burn in Hell, Susan Strong. Title ideas: Susan the Unjust, Susan the Cruel, or just Unjust Nebraska.

Include a section about particular cruelties, like keeping seriously decrepit persons in prison for minor crimes. For example: the guy so old and infirmed that he had a scooter to lean on as he pushed it around and could sit on it when he gets tired. The same guy was unable to control his bowels. He is often found in the bathroom cleaning himself by slinging his waste into a trash can as he showers.

Mon, 13 Aug 2018 [319 + 411]

Large Group: RL read a long, prosaic life that was short on actual life. The Relapse class was ridiculous as usual. Melgoza was there and he chats with the class for 5 minutes and then says work on the exercise that was already assigned for being due today. Then after we sat and stared (those of us who already did it), he assigns the rest of the exercises in the book.

Had rice and tuna from my locker again for lunch. Had SP make us burritos for dinner. Another day of no kitchen food is a good day.

Got a letter from MCC; they have some computer science classes that I would be interested in taking (C++ Programming I and II; Intel Assembly I and II). Hopefully it will work out that I can take them. [Editor’s Note: They had sent their listing for once you’re out of prison. There was nothing offered at any time that was anywhere near that useful.]

Got a reply from Troy Hawk, Lancaster County, about my request for a statement of zero balance. Surprise! They suddenly had charges of $143.52 on my balance (no invoice or prior notice of any services rendered). I replied and included an inmate check for the full amount. There was no reaction to my sarcasm in the request where I listed Susan Strong as the judge and the county attorney. Burn in Hell, Susan Strong.

Tue, 14 Aug 2018 [320 + 410]

32 scaramuccis down, 41 to go!

At 10am Nebraska murdered someone – a degenerate, to be sure, but there are no asterisks to the commandment “thou shall not kill”. It matters not in Hell, where the Law of Judaism or Christianity have no force. Even from a secular viewpoint, where does the state derive authority to murder as a punishment for murder. It’s just simply superior violence. The most a society could do rightly, is to expel someone from its midst for serious refusal to comply with the rules of society. But we might as well not theorize – it’s clearly only the right of violence by someone with a superior capability of violence that grants them the right to commit a murder to punish someone else for committing a murder.

Stupid bitch Bless was back in class today. That woman is so dumb. I mean abysmally stupid.

Watching the press conference after the state’s murder. There is a lot of talk about people’s “roles”. I supposed that is a convenient psychological exercise to convince yourself you’re not part of the murder, but just a simple process. Isn’t that how Nazis justified their participation – by convincing themselves they were just doing their small part. The banality of evil.

Wed, 15 Aug 2018 [321 + 409]

Usual stupidity from Ms. Bless at the community meeting. Someone said “I’m afraid to even be in this program”. That was kind of funny.

Started reading The Scarlett Letter again last night. I love Hawthorne’s writing style – he’s subtlety sarcastic and so much meaning packed into a few innocent-looking words.

Had my final individual treatment session today. Finally a small milestone completed. Less than seven days to complete SAU altogether.

I’m so goddamn tired of this place already. I would truly shoot myself in the head right now if had a gun. Since exile is not possible in the modern world as the proper punishment for failing to meet society’s rules (however egregiously unjust those rules are), a just society would offer a choice of death anytime a prison sentence was on the table. “Living” like this is far worse than death. The lack of that choice is additional proof that a society is not seeking justice or retribution for evil-done, but in fact, indulging their need to see and do violence, like a sociopath.

Thu, 16 Aug 2018 [322 + 408]

Aretha Franklin died at the age of 76.

Lawsuits against Monsanto OK’d by federal judge to move forward over Round-Up and glyphosate causing non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Waste of time.. Monsanto has some SC justices on retainer.

Got the Nebraska POA notarized and mailed to mom. Hopefully this one will work.

70-some people had episodes on K2 in New Haven, CT. Possibly laced with fentanyl. It was the same people multiple times though.

Doctor showed up today. Got an appointment pass for 830am. Not much happened – he just read the same results he sent in the letter in US Mail.

I had some good ideas about my book a bit earlier today, but I can’t remember what it was now that I came to write it down. DAMN IT! It was something about comparing sales of drugs to sales of guns/automatic weapons to selling cigarettes, Round-Up, alcohol, high fructose corn syrup, etc.. Ok, turns out I did remember. Good. In those other items we blame the consumer for choosing their own course – for good or ill – even when the true nature of product is obfuscated or outright lied about by the seller. But for drugs, even when the product is full known to the buyer, we say the buyer was not responsible for making his/her own choices and instead punish the seller worse than if they were a murderer or a child-molester. A women in Omaha was recently given probation for killing several people with her car, while people get 5+ years here for providing a service that many of us appreciate. Problems with argument? Probably some drug sellers do deliberately deceive or try to manipulate people into becoming addicted. When that happens, punish them for that. It’s fucking ridiculous that every conversation about drugs ends up with the defender of mass incarceration have to resort to other crimes in order to justify criminalization of drug use. “Why can’t an adult chose drugs for themselves?” Mass-incarceration defenders: “Well then they might steal”.

Fri, 17 Aug 2018 [323 + 407]

Got the book Punishment and Responsibility by H.L.A. Hart from the library loan program. Some kind of emergency this morning they were looking for a wheelchair, but eventually took him out on a stretcher.

AT didn’t get a canteen order. The RR box was broken, so they rejected his room restriction order. Petty Nebraskans.

Ms. Bless was off the rails with stupid today. She went on and on and on and on and on about absolutely nothing. She promised to stop several times, but ended up still talking about absolutely fucking nothing! Burn in Hell, Susan Strong.

Wrote an IIR to Medical saying every time I eat in the kitchen I get diarrhea for 1-2 days: “Is there any medication to inoculate against the foodborne pathogens that have colonized the kitchen?”

Sat, 18 Aug 2018 [324 + 406]

Been reading a lot of Scarlett Letter today. Also got a letter from the prison saying that I’d been accepted into the UNO Composition class that starts on Monday.

Trump administration arrests man while he drives his pregnant wife to the hospital for an emergency C-section. For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, but lose his soul?

The honey buns and bear claws from the Canteen are all moldy. That isn’t the end of Nebraska’s biological attacks: they’ve brought MRSA into the unit to kill us too. T in Room 1 has MRSA. The unit workers have to idea how to do infection control.

SP just gave the other criminals in the room a training course on popping lockers open without a key or combination. I feel sick that I liked some of these people. Only BP, S, and I didn’t join the training (S – because he probably is already a pro). They are now practicing on their own lockers over and over.

Sun, 19 Aug 2018 [325 + 405]

Woke up to the last drug test, hopefully. Dumb ass Nebraskans. All Nebraskans can burn in Hell, but especially the Whore of Lincoln.

The citizens of Nebraska enthusiastically imprison their fellow citizens who don’t look just like them and who practice different religions or have different political ideologies than themselves. However, they quickly lose enthusiasm when it’s necessary to open their checkbooks to properly fund that system of imprisonment in a humane or constitutional manner: healthy food, bleach and other infection-control related goods, and staff training.

Submitted a grievance regarding the lack of bleach on the unit for the second time in 30 days (also July 30th) and now in the midst of a MRSA outbreak.

Mon, 20 Aug 2018 [326 + 404]

Major rainstorm today. Hope the whole dam state floods. Feeling particularly ornery today. Had a double-pimple at the side of my nose that I popped last night. It was the super-nasty, endlessly oozing kind that bled for hours after and was even still oozing pus this morning. I hope it’s not MRSA.

PF wanted to write a grievance about the MRSA issue as well. I wrote a sample to try and help him express his thoughts on the matter.

Got an SAU coin in large group today. PF said some nice things. Graham and Fallin said a few relevant things and a suggestion to root for Wildcats and not the Cardinals. Glad that’s over forever.

Starting the UNO English Composition class tonight. It was supposed to be in the multi-purpose room, but instead I found them in the Education department. I think I’m going to like the class though. Seems like there will be some fun topics to write on in the class, including one on the American Dream/Nightmare. That will be my chance to write insulting things about DJT and Nebraska. Another paper is on gender – that will be fun also.

Tue, 21 Aug 2018 [327 + 403]

Talked to Dad and the electrician. He tried to not run the data (Cat 6) cabling, but we came to an agreement that he would use the coax for the TV outlets and the Cat 6 for the data outlets.

Had the last Special Issues class. We watched a duplicate of “Road to Recovery” (Delbert Boone) video and then to add insult to injury, they just shut the video off abruptly at 33 minutes into it (OK, we were all fine with quitting it early).

Michael Cohen surrenders to FBI and expected to plead guilty to campaign finance fraud and tax/bank fraud. Yahoo! Paul Manafort jury can only agree on 17/18 counts. Ha! Today is the beginning of the end of the Trump Dumpster Fire. Cohen pleads guilt and names DJT as an accomplice (“coordinated and directed by….”).

>> Justice rides a slow horse, but she will eventually get there. << [Editor’s Note: that’s not true]

Wed, 22 Aug 2018 [328 + 402]

Dropped off some books, magazines, photos and old letters to Open Property for mom to pickup on August 31.

Corn dogs for breakfast. I was appalled at first, but it tasted kind of like a McGriddle.

Thu, 23 Aug 2018 [329 + 401]

Moved back to B-wing right after SAU graduation yesterday: Room 4, DL. JH is my bunkie again. This room all goes to bed early and they’re quiet – hallelujah!

This room has the weirdest cleaning arrangement yet. It’s a different cleaning day each week. Next week I have Monday and the week after that I have Tuesday. It might be the fairest, but least likely to be remembered.

MCC class signup this morning was dismal. None of the classes they sent me in the m ail are actually offered. No C++ and no Intel Assembly class. They only had an “Intro to Computers” and two other classes even more useless classes: Dealing with Anxiety and can’t remember the other. Three offerings and all of them things people should have mastered by the 5th grade.

This unit unhygienic. There is effectively no hot water in the hand-washing sinks. The trickle is so low and slow you can’t get any hot water onto your hands. The fact that you need one hand on the faucet knob to keep water flowing doesn’t help either. The second soap dispenser doesn’t dispense any soap.

Fri, 24 Aug 2018 [330 + 400]

33 scaramuccis down, 40 to go. 400 days to go. Almost to the half-way point – maybe. Can’t wait for mom and B’s visit next week.

This room is going to be interesting. They’ve been telling me this morning about the differences between federal prison and NE prison. Then when I told them about my book, they shared some stories about Nebraska’s crimes against humanity.

They told how federal prison bends a lot more easily than Nebraska. If they had “sit-ins” they could get them to make some policy changes. They also said they would regularly slap around the COs in federal prison and there were no consequences (CN and Cirrhosis Guy).

They also told me about a lot of Nebraska’s cruel and unusual punishment. Nebraska has a torture chamber called “The Dungeon” at LCC and “South 40 Hole” at NSP where people were forced to eat bugs and where several people went insane from the depravity inflicted on them. Lookup stories about Niko Jenkins and the Louden (sp?) guy from “Boys Don’t Cry” story).

They both also said they had tried to organize (?) or at least they were disappointed that there was not sit-in for the Nebraska state-murder this month. They were disappointed that people didn’t protest the various obnoxious practices like the removal of porn or the rotten food served here or the lack of the same features that other NE prisons have (like daily movies and gaming consoles). Lot of interesting stories here about how depraved Nebraskans are.

Laundry officer Nelson is a singularly unpleasant and depressed/depressing Nebraskan. Probably unhappy with his life because of his morbid obesity. Everything that comes out of his fat face is depressing and hateful.

Wrote an IIR to verify that the UNO class will not block me from work release.

Sat, 25 Aug 2018 [331 + 339]

Burn in Hell, Susan Strong.

Watching “Homemade” on A&E (9am). I kind of like this show.

Just heard the room talking about a strange situation about “life” in prison. They said if you have 100 years, but die after 20, they will bury your body and refuse to give it back to the family until the 80-year remainder has passes. I’m having trouble believing that. What could the Nebraskan’s interest in confining a corpse be?

Wonder if I could learn to paint or do pottery? Probably not given my lack of patience for learning anything artistic or musical. I do think the gardening could work out. It would be good to have pottery to complement it.

The roommate across from me, an older Hispanic guy, seems to be on his last leg. He told me the first day in the room that he had Hep C and advanced Cirrhosis and something is wrong with his breathing. Sounds like has emphysema or a punctured lung or something like that.

Last night I woke up because he was arguing or more like pleading with the night CO to not give him an MR because he hobbled to the bathroom to throw up or something other eruptive event, which apparently included blood. I am afraid it’s not out of the realm of possibility that this guy doesn’t make it another month. Eh, could be an exaggeration, but Benjamin just came in and told us to keep an eye out for him, so he must have some doubts too.

The bathrooms on this wing are filthy and unhygienic. There is no water pressure to speak of out of the hot water side of the sinks. The back shower does not drain properly – the front half of his has standing water. I know Nebraskans are not smart, but wouldn’t even they have learned that the drain has to be the lowest point in the drainage area? Couple that with the lack of sufficient cleaning products available for us make this a veritable Funhouse of Infection.

Sun, 26 Aug 2018 [332 + 398]

Woke up full of piss and vinegar. Good to do some writing.

John McCain died yesterday. RIP. Hopefully some honorable-ish statesman picks up the mantle and puts the needs of the country before their own political and financial needs.

Tropical Storm Lane downgraded from hurricane to Cat 4 to Cat 2 to tropical storm before it made landfall in Hawai’i. First time I ever heard of a hurricane in that part of the world.

I’m starting to like the “This!Omaha” channel. I watched “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels” on Friday night. Today I found this one movie that I’d seen a long, long time ago that started with a hauntingly beautiful song “Shadows of Paris” – it’s “A Shot in the Dark” from the Pink Panther series. OK, after listened to it all the way through, maybe I exaggerated in my memory how great the song was, now that I heard it three decades later.

Delaying writing this 3-page paper for Comp class – procrastinating, more like. Some things never change, no matter how boring things are. “I believe everything; I believe nothing. I suspect everyone; I suspect no one.” (Clousseau)

Mon, 27 Aug 2018 [333 + 397]

Burn in Hell, Susan Strong.

More TV about John McCain. Dumpster Fire couldn’t even let the WH press corps release a statement commending his service to the nation. He’s as a petty and despicable as a Nebraskan.

Need to get my ass in gear on writing assignment for the UNO class.

Fat baby Trump pouted up his bloated face and wouldn’t say anything about John McCain at all. He had flags at the WH back at full-staff while Congress called for half-staff.

Finished 3-page paper on hidden intellectualism/brilliance. I think I did OK on it, but I guess I will see shortly. I have to turn in it in a few minutes! lol

Asked both Kneifel and Abbott about a unit job assignment and both demurred to McCluskey, the asshole. I tried.

Roommate RP (The guy with Hep C and live cirrhosis) was assaulted by Nebraska earlier. They found out that his “grill” (dental partial) had a diamond in it. So they him to Medical under false pretenses where a PA asked him for it and sent two other people (Kneifel and UCM Carroll) to kick us out of the room while they went through his bunk and locker, where they did not find it. Then he came back from the medical pod to a security guard waiting for him to take him to be strip-searched (presumably still looking for it.) He came back to the room and said he told them he’d give it up if they promised no write-up for it, which apparently they agreed to. RP said the dentist at DEC apparently purposefully broke it out of his mouth in the first place because they wanted him to send it out of the facility. It wasn’t clear from his story how he held onto it at that point. I didn’t want to ask any more questions than I already had.

Nebraskans really don’t want that guy to eat or live apparently. They denied him any treatment on his Hep C until he is here for at least a year. I think they’re hoping he’s dead before they have to treat him. I offered to help him write a grievance if he wanted.

Find episode of Frasier where Frasier and Niles are caught in a parking garage and Frasier won’t pave the $2 because he left immediately (didn’t actually park). Niles tells him “you’ve been given several opportunities to leave without paying. You just want everyone to agree with you or suffer for not agreeing with you.” HAHA. Omg… that’s me to a tee. Very similar scenario when I was in Columbus with Brandon. (Later series episode … Niles and Daphne already married and Kenny is the station manager.)

Tue, 28 Aug 2018 [334 + 396]

Blah. Had the idea of writing my book with a similar plot device as Inferno, with Susan Strong as an evil version of Virgil, harassing the protagonist as he navigates the Nebraskan Inferno. I’m kind of of grooving on the idea right now. Need to come up with a unique story to wrap that into.

Asshole State Employee McCluskey here his morning. He’s such a douchebag. I was going to try and ask him about a job assignment, but I didn’t want to deal with his ass-clownery or his breath. Abbott was here in the afternoon; he’s adorable. He gave me the receipt from mom sending me $200.

Talked to mom and dad. The electrician and HVAC guys are done until the drywall work is done – they’re waiting on the plumbers.

God damn, Susan Strong. May Satan fuck her skull for all eternity once the world is freed of her rotten soul.

It’s hot in here – the A/C is “broken”. Broken also are the hot water faucets in the bathroom (yes, all of them), the toilets (when flushed the water rises past your balls) and the showers (the water doesn’t drain from all parts of the shower, so you’re standing in pools of bacteria and feces and whatever else rises up out of those drains that smells like shit and the decay of humanity). Oh, and the soap dispensers don’t work.

Wed, 29 Aug 2018 [335 + 395]

Story JH told me about CF and asshole McCluskey. CF, in this story, said he asked McCluskey why he was picking on him all the time. CF ask him if he was a racist. McCluskey replied “Yes, I am a racist”. CF filed a grievance and McCluskey was suspected for two weeks. Wonder if that was a true story. I totally believe McCluskey was comfortable enough admitting he was a racist – I just don’t believe he told the truth about it during a grievance reading or that Nebraska would have done anything to him if he had.

Got assigned the job of wiping down the phones with bleach every day at 8am. That is hilarious.

Had a long conversation with CN(D) about drug-politician conspiracies. He’s an interesting character.

Mentioned to RP that I might sell my TV before going to work release.

Thu, 30 Aug 2018 [336 + 394]

Got a new coax cable and angle adaptor at canteen – my TV works perfectly now.

Fri, 31 Aug 2018 [337 + 393]

Had to give another cheese block and sausage to the group meal. Then I donated my three hot pockets to the guys in the room since I was going to be eating with mom and B.

11th month done! Only 13 months to go. Four more weeks to work release.

Had a great visit with mom and B. I am eager to see them again today. The half-way decent vending machine food was good too.

It was D (CN)’s birthday on Friday so we made hot pockets.

[Editor’s Note: the featured image is Corporal Kelsey Marie Charrlin, a complete horror show of a human being.]

Thu, 1 Feb 2018 [126+604]

Worked at the Canteen again – for free. Apparently one of the perks of the Canteen job is that other inmates will pay you to add items to their basket after they turned their shopping list in (but they still have to be paid for, of course) when they check out. I added some items for Roomie L (but gratis – because, you know, he’s unbelievably beautiful). Added some cough drops to mine as I woke up with some crud. Canteen manager gave us a lecture about stolen summer sausages and how we might be randomly strip searched. This place is ridiculous, but not the funny kind.

Need to go to laundry today and get new bags apparently (because of the move to J3A). Also need to talk to the unit manager about passes for mom and dad and job change form. Pills should be in too. Then back to volunteer job at the Canteen.

Wrote letters to PD and B last night. I’m all caught up on letters now. Pills are not here yet. Visitor forms are approved and mom can schedule the visit any Wed through Sun. No word on the job change form.

Martin’s model of the world: rich people own the world. They use the law as a tool of subjugation (much like religion was the preferred tool of subjugation for many centuries and still is in some cultures. Rich people confer near invulnerability to the Law & Order class, who implement their system of subjugation. The Law & Order class, which includes politicians, lawyers/judges, and enforcers/cops. These people are rarely seen paying actual consequences for the same behaviors that the poor/middle class are fined, jailed, or demoted to even lower castes.

Some fucking retarded guy keeps calling me Andrew. I try to ignore him, but he’s so fucking stupid, it’s like a train wreck that I sometimes look at by accident.

Fri, 2 Feb 2018 [127+603]

Called in sick. Bad cough, sneezing, congestion. Death is imminent, I’m sure. Hopefully anyway. Got refills for meds, except the one I really need. The dunce at the pill window said she’d have a nurse supervisor follow up and send me a kite back. Got a grievance form to file if they don’t get back to me today.

Martin’s theory of humanity: a human is either self-preservationist or species-preservationist. Whereas other chordata are genetically programmed for one or the other; humans with their advanced capability for cognition get to choose.

Filed grievance on the medical staff because of lack of action on these items: influenza vaccination, [personal], [personal]. Unit manager and illegitimate son of Adolf Eichmann, Ellinger said he has 10 days to reply to the grievance regardless of how urgent or serious the medical issue.

Talked to mom and dad. Sill been too cold to work on the house. She’s going to book airfare for a Fri to Sun. She said the IRS keeps sending letters wanting payments since my payment plan is no longer able to draw out of my now-empty checking accounting. I asked her to forward one of the letters to me and I would write to them and update them on my captivity in this Nebraskan concentration camp. I’m feeling some sarcasm coming on. Maybe more than “some”. Told her about the “liver & onions” grievance. She said she had some pictures of the finished garage to send and that they bought me that shower head I found in the magazine for my birthday.

Finished Hamlet. I love the Folger Series!! Going to start “The Evangelicals” next.

H3N2 is the dominant influenza virus this year. Wells Fargo sanctioned by the Fed. They are not allowed to hold more than $2 trillion in assets (the amount they had on Dec 31) until they have cleaned up their act. I bet everyone in this concentration camp who had financial crimes wished they got a sweetheart deal like that: “You can’t increase your net worth until you’ve improved yourself. Don’t worry about your past transgressions – no punishment will be forthcoming.” Too bad they were born too poor for the first-class treatment.

Slept 80% of the day – hoping that helps with the cold/flu/respiratory illness. Got up around 830 because of noise in the room. Had breakfast (blew up two oatmeal packets in the microwave) and then slept until lunch. Lunch at the cafeteria was a crappy taco salad. Came back and slept until dinner. Skipped dinner and shaved and showered instead. Watched the Axefiles with guest Whoopi Goldberg.

Wrote the start of a grievance for ex-roomie P and then asked him to fill in some examples.

Called DP – not too much new or interesting. Good to chit-chat for awhile though.

Sun, 4 Feb 2021 [129+601]

Wrote a grievance snippet for P and his room. It was pretty funny.

Paul Ryan tweets self-congratulations over the tax-cut bill citing a school employee saying she saw a $1.80 increase in her paycheck. Twitter apparently roasted him and he deleted the tweet. Ha.

Mon, 5 Feb 2021 [130+600]

Burn in Hell, Susan Strong, you evil, rancid cunt. May your outside begin to rot as your inside already has.

AR, new roomie, asked if I’d showered since I came to the room (5 days ago) because he was concerned that I would spread my cold/illness if I wasn’t showering. (I’m guessing he’s a native Nebraskan.) Note for the book: it was three days ago.

Last night I watched “Death Penalty Stories” on CNN. Research Nebraska and their use of the death penalty. Roomie S says today that he never got a write-up until he got here to SAU and now he’s gotten a couple. I’ve heard similar comments from at least three other people that they try to get you kicked out as frequently as possible. Not sure if that’s just sour grapes from people with bad behavior or or is there something to it. Question: Does the state get some kind of kickback from a federal program? The rumor mill says they kick people out frequently because they get a kickback each time they sign someone into the program and they fraudulently mark each return by the same person as a new registrant. Reminds me of when South Dakota was caught kidnapping and interning Native American children from loving families for $2500 from a federal program. Or does some state officials’ private interest get state money for each person who starts the program? (Like Rick Scott, whose private drug testing enterprise made a profit every time a welfare recipient was tested after they passed legislation requiring test even thought it was an extremely poor payoff for the state.

The toilet police are active today. I can’t believe employment is so bad in Nebraska that anyone would choose the job of metering the use of the toilet. Maybe it’s not the lack of alternatives, but those people actually enjoy that kind of work – not sure which is worse anyway. What kind of education do you need to apply for a toilet police-person job?

Nachos… again. We had them on Friday. Well… at least it’s not liver or dogshit or horse rectum.

Tablets pushed back again because Nebraskans are incompetent or miserable – both. Still no emails or music.

Went to the pharmacy pill counter for my [med]. Some stupid bitch said “they’re not here yet”. I asked if they were even ordered yet and she seemed confused and I told her the background.. again (repeated from Friday). She said “write a kite.” I showed her the three kites that I had already written. She said “oh, you” and then “the nursing supervisor is looking into it”. I walked away and came back to unit and asked Shademan what the escalation process is. He gave me the same list of things I already did.

Called Ombudsman (1315-ish) and talked to a raging bitch who was clearly irritated to have been disturbed from her coffin. She said write a letter. I told her it was urgent and she said “write a letter”. Wrote a letter to the Ombudsman and mailed it. Copied the related kites.

There is no help or rehabilitation that Nebraska can offer me. This is 100% punitive and any suggestion to the contrary is self-delusion and self-interest of Nebraska authoritarians. The medical issue I had leading up to Nov 22, 2016 that NE exploited to draw me into their corrupt prison enterprise, I sought correction for myself with a qualified mental health treatment provider while out on bond and remained healthy every since.

Dow Jones dropped 1175 points today and 600-something on Friday. Largest drop in history. Hate to root against our country’s economy but fuck them all. I hope it keeps dropping until Republicans are drive into the sea.

Got a returned mail notification on the Organic Chemistry book because it didn’t come from a publisher.

Tue, 6 Feb 2018 [131+599]

Stock market dropping again today. Around -100 points so far this morning. #GOPTaxScam

Trump ordered the military to setup a dictator-style parade. Holy shit.

Talked to mom and dad and we talked about the inbound Internet connections and TV. Mom has airfare for Feb 23 to 25. Finished application for visit. Will turn it in tomorrow. They got the POA and mom is going to send it out to [employer] and Optum.

[insert: approved special visit form]

“Progress and Poverty” by Henry George. “The Gilded Age: American Experience” NET/PBS.

Wed, 7 Feb 2018 [132+598]

Went to Canteen to see if I still have a job there. Told them about being sick and filing the complaint with the Ombudsman. They mentioned that my unit transfer paperwork still hasn’t come through. They said they still wanted me, but not until I’m not sick. Since I still had some congestion and coughing, I said I’d better take the day off. They agreed (Chris & Seals).

A pox on Susan Strong, Whore of Lincoln. A horrible, disfiguring pus-filled pox. On her whole family actually.

Paid roomie JDLC to do my room cleaning – 10 tokens for the month of February. Hallelujah. Had paid S 3 tokens just for today, but while they were giving S a hard time about not doing the cleaning early in the morning, JDLC made the 10 tokens/month offer.

Joe Biden calls 45 a “joke”. Glad people are calling out the obvious.

Put special visit request into the case manager’s office this morning. Loaned two tokens to bunkmate JH. Sold a struesel cake F (hot!). Slow news day.

Olympian Rippon, gay as Christmas at Elton John’s, refuses to meet with Adolf “Mike” Pence. You go boy! Funniest thing is then Pence issues a statement that he never requested it (a meeting). I guess the compulsive lying is contagious. Also someone is running against Devon Nunes and saying that he (Nunes) is “just a Trump stooge”. I love it! #CadeBoneSpurs wants a parade.

Ron Reagan – ffrf.org – Freedom From Religion Foundation – for atheists and agnostics – “Not afraid to burn in Hell”. funny stuff.

Thu, 8 Feb 2018 [133+597, 18.22%]

Didn’t go to Canteen this morning. Still had a cough. Probably will go tomorrow.

I have an unpleasant feeling that something bad is going to happen at the South Korean Olympics. Hopefully not.

Wrote a letter to O to say hi, but also share my idea about the web and networking services business.

Ate lunch at the Disease Cafe. The parmesan chicken was actually decent, probably the highest compliment this place will be capable of achieving. Sat next to RS, who was at D&E on Unit 2 at the same time as I was. Seems like a decent guy. He’s on the SAU unit now too – wonder what his crime was: guessing DUI.

Went to the library to study a couple of issues. The thyroid is indeed in the neck – I was wrong- confused it with the thalamus. The thyroid and the thymus (immune system) are both in the neck -> breastbone channel. Also, looked up some [redact: personal request].

Still not word from the concentration camp on my [med].

Sent letter to mom and dad with outside signage ideas, brochure ideas, and place label ideas.

Rand Paul making sense on a rare occasion. He’s saying we should be just as concerned about debt when a Republican is in the WH as when a Democrat is in the WH. He’s the only one saying this. The rest of his party forgot about their fiscal conservatism.

My nickname in the room has become “Google”. Ha. I like it.

Dow Jones drops 1033 points.

Fri, 9 Feb 2018 [134+596]

Went to Canteen this morning and officer Chris said my transfer was denied because I am in SAU. Good, that’s over. Hopefully they forget to give me a unit job for as long as possible.

Wrote a letter to the IRS telling them I would be busy for the next 4 – 6 years. Address: Department of Treasure, Internal Revenue Service, Stop 6525 (SP OIS), Kansas City, MO 64999-0025. Will make a copy at the library and then mail it out.

I think I’m going to spend the afternoon at the library learning from the “World Book” collection.

May Susan Strong, the Whore of Lincoln, be struck with a gross and extremely painful plague (Ebola would be ideal).

Mailed the IRS letter. Also sent an IIR for a haircut (again). This time I addressed to “Gym/Recreation Coordinator” instead of “Barber”. They have very delicate feelings in Nebraska; if you don’t address them exactly as the title that they studied, aspired, and worked hard for all their life, they’ll just toss it in the trash.

Sat, 10 Feb 2018 [135+195]

Dear Lord, please strike the Whore of Lincoln down with a horrible pox so that she may share in the misery she sows.

My new room is not quite as mild as the old one. Last night a couple of them described involvement in killing someone. Some guy in a shower got hit repeatedly in the head and face with a lock-in-a-sock until his “brain got splattered in the shower”. It was during some riot. Then a few of them came back several times this week with very full bags of canteen – one even on a day that no unit has canteen on. The conversation and snickering around the bags arriving in the room led me to believe they were stolen/coerced out of someone.

Took an early morning shower and now watching CNN. That’s about all that’s on the agenda for today. Got a letter from mom and HR yesterday.

Just noticed that the “butter” here never melts. Hotdogs and baked potato – edible, but can’t go any farther that that.

Some dogshit sheriff in White County, TN, assassinated an old man for not stopping his car on the highway. He’s caught by bodycams telling his deputy to shoot him rather than ram his car off the road because he didn’t want his cruisers damaged.

Facebook post for the day I get out: “Facebook friends, I want to confess that I have been a fool for the first 42 years of my lift. I thought that people were basically good and society should use its collective wealth to build things to benefit our whole species/nation/community. I’ve come to see the truth: people are basically evil, rotten to the core. The place to see proof of this fact is how people behave when they have virtually unchecked authority, as in the case of police, prosecutors, judges, and politicians. These people don’t “need,” as a practical matter, to be “good” and so one would expect to find expressions of whatever innate character mankind has in places where there is no need for a facade of good behavior. I’m here to tell you from personal experience that I have many observations of the fact that mankind is in fact rotten. As such, I’m switching to Republicanism/authoritarianism. Fuck everyone else, before they fuck you: the Republican golden rule. All Hail Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump.

Wrote IIRs to Education, Reentry, and Medical (reminding them I’d been without [med] for 13 days and that I’d already sent 2 IIRs, been to the pill counter thrice, wrote a grievance on 2/2/18 and wrote to the Ombudsman on 2/5/18).

The new movie for this half-month was Dunkirk, which I had seen when it came out last summer. Great movie!

Was thinking how given[?] the total unhealthiness of the food here (high fat, high cholesterol, high salt, high fructose corn syrup, lack of fresh fruit, grade Q meat, etc… every sentence in Nebraska is essentially a death sentence. And after eating here a few weeks, you pray for the misery to end. I shit 3-4 times a day here. Trying to eat in the kitchen as infrequently as possible, but stew and burritos get old after awhile.

Last night CNN showed Trump excusing and declaring Rob Porter innocent. The banner they put up was “The White House Innocence Project”. Funny. Today Michael Smerconish had a banner saying “House of Cads” over faces of Rob Porter and the other wife beater, Sorensen. #ImpeachDonaldDumpsterFire, #ImpeachTheDumpsterFire

Sun, 11 Feb 2018 [136+594]

Fox News executive posts editorial saying the Olympics were “Darker, Gayer, and Different.” Anyone surprised? Rep. Eric Swalwell proposes “Journalist Protection Act”. Great idea. Protect journalists in areas of the country where people in power don’t care to prosecute violence against journalists (e.g. Montana).

Newsweek done for. Bannon on Trump: “sick of being a wet nurse to a 71-year old.”

Made burritos in the room. Kitchen had grilled cheese and dishwater soup – pass.

Roomies are making a TV sale seal. The prison sets a price based on the TV age, number of previous owners, but the buyer and seller negotiate a secondary price.

P said the kitchen put in a work order to try and get rid of rats that live in the salad bar (again). P works in the maintenance department. My first reaction was “there’s a salad bar in the kitchen?” They meant the metal contraption where they put the butter and ketchup out.

Mon, 12 Feb 2018 [137+593]

Submitted my canteen list for the week. Have a haircut appointment at 2pm. Watched the Obama’s portrait unveiling. Obama said “we miss you” and the whole audience cracked up laughing.

Got a prison haircut at 1400 – 3 token tip. RS was there waiting for the next spot as I left. Had a discussion with P and a random racist in the shower about why Obama was the best president since FDR and how Trump is only there to enrich himself.

May the Whore of Lincoln get her appropriate reward for falsely imprisoning people and spreading hate and discord.

Filled out bankruptcy papers as best that I could. Need to try and find an attorney that can help me file it in court.

Tue, 13 Feb 2018 [138+592]

Very late last night I got a 7am pass to medical. I got there at 650 and sat in the chair until 715 because no one seemed to know why I was called there. At 715 the Asian nurse began to talk about the second part of the pneumovax vaccine. She said they didn’t have the vaccine so they’d have to reschedule at no specific time in the future. I suggested that maybe the pass was issued regarding their on-going denial of my [essential medication] and I had been denied it now for 15 days. She did a couple minutes of research and came back and said that the doctor is a contractor and he won’t come here or respond to issue until there are at least five other people who also need him. WTF!!? I asked what my recourse or escalation to try and get my life-sustaining medication and she said I could file a grievance. I said I already had and she said “and that’s your right”. What a bunch of useful, soul-less morons.

[Editor’s Note: redacted: three pages of dates and times of conversations and actions taken related to deprived medication, including grievance submitted to Unit Manager Ellinger, the warden, and the Nebraska Prison Ombudsman. Author does not wish to share the details of the medical issue/medication, but is considering doing so in the future. One interesting thing he added is that the Nebraska Ombudsman eventually wrote back asking for a release of medical records so they could research the issue. He sent the release back the same day and never heard from the Ombudsman again – to this day.]

Wrote an IIR to the warden with a comprehensive timeline. Got a reply from the 02/11/2018 IIR to medical with the usual vague (and undoubtedly untrue) claim that that they will contact the doctor. Also, got a note saying “[incorrect medication] is at the pill window”. Wow! Keystone cops, literally.

Sarah Sanders, train-wreck extraordinaire, is really falling apart on national news. They get caught in one lie after another: today, about the Rob Porter scandal.

My name appeared on the “See UCM Clark” list at lunchtime. I went to her office and she said four visit sessions were approved – 2 on Friday and 1 on Sat and 1 on Sunday. I can transfer books and letters – need to see Property office about that. Can’t take any games or food or paper into the visitation area. Need to ask mom to bring some money for the vending machines.

Tater Tot casserole for lunch. Hair included at no extra charge.

Wed, 14 Feb 2018 [139 + 591]

My bunkmate stole a package of chicken from me between the time I returned to the room and dropped my canteen bag on my bed and when I returned a few minutes later after we all left the room to let JDLC do the daily mopping. From outside the room I saw JH hand someone a pile of canteen stuff including a chicken pouch to pay off his gambling debts. When I got back to the room, I counted everything against the receipt and no surprise, a chicken was missing. Need to start locking my locker. Working on getting the combination to it.

Got a reply from Education about the MCC orientation and it just said “forwarded to MCC”. [Editor’s Note: MCC is Metropolitan Community College in Omaha, NE]

Attended first SAU community meeting at 1030 today. The agent: (1) clap for people who didn’t screw up for 60 days in a row, (2) some lady moved her office, (3) new parenting class that duplicates and already-provided class. Useless. Also learned that Nebraskans call people “Miss <first name>” like people in the South. Ugh.

The Rob Porter scandal is not dying. Supposedly House committee is going to investigate the situation: Gowdy Doody. That’s good.

Corrupt Republican Shulkin (VA Dept) fraudulently altered emails to get a trip to Europe for his wife paid by taxpayers. Two days earlier, it was reported that Scott Pruitt bought first-class tickets to Rome for $7000 and $2500 first-class ticket from somewhere to Birmingham that would only have been a 2.5-drive for her. That’s hilarious, there are people here in prison for stealing far less.

May have blamed bunk-mate for being a thief, but there is a second roomie it could have been.

Dinner was a “beef fritter”. Not sure what that is. Was hungry enough to check it out, but the line was out the building and around the corner. Not worth the chance since the odds are against it being any good.

Talked to mom on the phone. Told her about the visitation parameters. She said to send Barb a visitor request form and she might come with the net time. She said Dad got the letter about the business ideas and I explained a little about how Google Voice works (or worked… not sure if it’s a thing anymore). She said OJ got my letter and was confused or couldn’t read some of it. She told him to write me back and ask the questions. I also told her about there being some worse tater-tot casserole than [my sister’s]. Going to call Dad tomorrow and both of them together this weekend.

No word whatsoever from the warden or the Ombudsman or the Unit Administrator Ellinger or the medical staff about my medication. Tomorrow is the tenth day of the grievance submitted to the unit administrator.

There is no Heaven; there will be no Rapture for “good Christians”. There will be no 99 virgins waiting for mass murderers. There will be 9,999 worms and 9,999,999 bacteria to help free the billions(?) of atoms of carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, et.al. that make up the “you”. Now they will be available for new someones and somethings. So maybe the Hindus got it closest to right with the doctrine of reincarnation. Except there is no judgment that goes into which beings or objects you graduate to or are demoted to. That’s probably a good thing for the fundamentalists of various religions who use their religions to harass, torture and imprison people who have only committed the “crime” of not believing the same horse-pucky that they do.

Thu, 15 Feb 2018 [140+590]

“We need more guns. If all those school kids had had a gun, things would have turned out differently” – NRA. Even CNN is being dumb on this issue. The answer is simple: (1) no one needs an automatic weapon except the military (not citizens, not “hunters”, and most certainly not the police), (2) the military needs to be accountable for every automatic weapon via tracking chips, and (3) the original purchaser is responsible for a weapon’s use and whereabouts from the time they purchase it until the time it is destroyed or sold in the presence of a trusted witness. [Editor’s Note: author has mentioned that his views on this have changed significantly and he plans to address them in a chapters about his time after prison.]

Called Jeremy to see if he had a recommendation for a bankruptcy attorney in the Omaha area. He said he’d ask around and I said I’d call back in about two weeks. He was completely worthless as a lawyer, but he’s one-for-one on making recommendations. His endorsement of that Greek restaurant in Lincoln last year was great.

Called Dad just to catch up. He said he’d back a back-hoe to help some digging tasks around the property. Otherwise they’ve mostly been waiting for some not rainy, non-cold weather to get started on the foundation. He’s been working on his old tractor restoration project and keeping the Paddy from overwhelming their cupboards.

No response from the warden, Unit Administrator Ellinger, or the medical staff on my medication. Got a letter from Ombudsman. Well, not a letter – a solo form for release of medical records to the Ombudsman’s Office. Sent back signed immediately.

Sent BJ a visitor setup form. Got the official special visit form from mom’s visit back.

Day #17 without medication.

Fri, 16 Feb 2018 [141-589]

Common Sense is not a flower that grows in Nebraska. Nor is Common Decency. Burn in Hell, Susan Strong, rancid soul-free devil.

No response from “Medical”, the Warden, or Unit Administrator Ellinger, now two days past the maximum days for replying to such. Apparently some people are not required to follow laws and rules. Some people go to prison for not following them and some people get a free pass.

Newton had a crazy religious side. History Channel guy playing Newton is sooooo hot. Newton calculated Armageddon to 2060AD. Try to find it – the video.

[Insert: January 2018 paystub for $24.20. 12 hours * $1.21/hour for “Food Service” and 8 * $1.21 for J3B “Wing Porter”]

[Insert: 13-FEB-2018 letter from Ombudsman Marshall Lux assigning the case to Assistant Ombudsman Barb Brunkow. Neither of whom ever followed-up at all.]

[Insert: Grievance reply from Unit Manager James Ellinger, dated 02/13/2018 but delivered days later.]

[Insert: IIR Reply from Medical dated 02/18/2018 saying again “doctor has been contacted”.]

Wrote too soon about replies to medicine-deprivation. Got an IIR from “Medical” saying “medical contacted doctor’s office. It has been recommended that [original medication] be restarted. It has been ordered.” So maybe I’ll have medication again sometime next week (Tues or Wed).

Mueller investigation indicts 13 Russian citizens of US election tampering. Rick Gates, Trump Lackey, in process of turning state’s evidence. Yay! Mueller and Rosenstein should come out of this as national heroes.

Ate dinner at the kitchen. It was soy burgers – hard to mess that up. I observed their creepy kitchen officer staring hard at the younger guys as they dropped their trays off at the dish window. I wondered what is non-creeper/official reason for what appears to be obvious ass-gazing of confined inmates who lack any recourse to challenge the sexual assault [Officer: Michael J. Dermody]. Later I saw officers outside taking away bags of chips (given with dinner instead of actual food) from people who dared to take them from the dining hall to eat later. They do the same if you try to take your cookies back to your room with you to eat later. I wonder what the compelling state interest is in forcing everyone to either eat everything all at once (in an already ridiculously-compressed time period) or having it taken away from you. You might wonder if it’s a pest-control rule, but that fails the integrity test. The cookies and chips are things already available as canteen items that people keep in their lockers. So that leaves two other options: they figure they make more income for themselves by forcing people to buy more items at the canteen…. Or it’s just to be vicious and controlling – cruel and usually so. Probably there are elements of both. Hitler would be proud that the Third Reich lives on in Nebraskans.

Future topics: explain ‘room restriction’, ‘phone restriction’, and other trivial and somewhat humorous punishments.

This new room, 4AL-J3A is definitely not gay-friendly. Lots of violence against gays in their speech and pasts (per their own stories).

Sat, 17 Feb 2018 [142+588]

May try to sleep away most of today. Got a reply to the information grievance about my medication. It says “specialist contacted.” HAHA. Also got a receipt for the grievance and the receipt for the kitchen grievance, but no actual reply. I am starting to form the thought that Corrections is a job program for the otherwise unemployable: the actively incompetent, the morbidly obese, and the severely unstable.

Watched “Bombing of Wall Street” of PBS’s American Experience series. I like that series – will have to look for more of those. I see they have an American Master’s series, “Maya Angelou” episode today.

Sun, 18 Feb 2018 [143+587]

Had a headache last night, so took forever to get to sleep. Then very early in the morning I woke with a severe pain in my butt (no joke). Somewhere way up there.. It felt like what I would assume passing a kidney stone feels like, but in the backside instead of the front-side. This is like the third time this has happened. Once when I was living in Portland and the second time when I was living in S. It’s why I thought they would find something in the colonoscopy. Ended up sleeping solidly through 10AM.

Yesterday, I loaned one bag of white rice to JDLC. Got a list and 35 tokens from P to buy for him on canteen.

One of the worst parts of prison is the noise. You have to listen to any dumb ass’s music, no matter how shitty it is. I wonder if there is a correlation between how stupid someone is and how loud and obnoxious they play or sing music. Suck it up… don’t say anything. Talked to BR – seems like he has the same opinion.

Took care of the 3-S’s … was starting to stink.

We need an amendment that all election ads show on mass media must be reviewed by a non-partisan committee that verifies who paid for the ad (list of individual people contributing money or information) and that the content of the ads are (1) useful in aiding a voter in an election decision, (2) truthful when stating facts about past events, (3) not misleading when summarizing past events, and (4) forward-looking or values-based opinions must be positive and dignified. The committee shall label each ad by who it favors and that candidate must approve the content. Ads may be challenged by any other candidate for the same office and require the challengee to prove certain statements or issue a correction and apology that runs at the equivalent frequency and audience and any other relevant metrics that support getting the correction to the same people who got the original message.

Mon, 19 Feb 2018 [144+586]

Last night someone started hollering out in the common area about some shit blow-out in the bathroom. Apparently someone shit all over the back stall and wiped the mess all over the walls of the stall. That’s Nebraska intelligence and quality at its best. Wonder if it was a guard or an inmate.

Damn it – today is a holiday so no chance for mail.

Was awoken at 7am by the concierge. She made a mess in our room. She took my two library books claiming they were overdue. I asked her to check the due date again and consult a calendar – she handed them back to me. I was shocked – not that she wasn’t smart enough to do the date comparison right the first time – but that she didn’t double-down on her original stupid. One roomie got an MR for “medication abuse” because he wasn’t taking all his prescribed 4 ibuprofen per day – I swear to God: you can’t make up Stupid like this. Another got an MR for an altered radio. She didn’t catch my appropriated dictionary (bought it off of P, who found it in the dumpster), headphones (bought from another inmate) or microwaveable mug (bought from an inmate – no longer available for us to buy on the canteen). Nebraska is petty and ridiculous.

Watched an episode of “Adam Tells It All” about criminal justice system. He stole the thesis of my book: the prison system is corrupt, not rehabilitative at all, and is simply cruelty-oriented. The legal system is also corrupt and unjust. Thanks to trash like District Judge Susan Strong.

Ordered canteen for this week (including some items for P for extra tokens). Need to remember to bring four copy tokens for a store list.

Apparently my J3B roommate T got in a fight and beat the shit out of a guy over there this afternoon. A current roommate told me that after we got back from dinner. Strange because I saw T on the way to dinner and he greeted me and there was not sign of anything out of place. Then I went to the pill counter at 1915 and saw T being escorted by two Gestapo to the hole. Crazy shit!

Explained my philosophy on religion to F earlier. He was surprised I didn’t believe in some traditional Christian stuff. Truth be told I’m not sure what I believe anymore.

The female CO just poked her head in the room and said “How is that episode going?” to no one in particular. Did she catch one of them smoking K-2 and thought it was funny? Or implicitly endorsing it? She was being flirty with JH and JDLC earlier – something about tattoos and their placement.

[Insert: Grievance Reply By James Ellinger dated 02/13/2018]

[Insert: Form Reply from MCC Adding to March 2018 Waitlist for “180 Reentry Assistance Program”]

[Insert: Letter from Natalie Johnson dated 01/12/2018 (a month earlier) approving entry into SAU program]

Tues, 20 Feb 2018 [145+585]

Busy day of small tasks, four days until mom’s visit. Got the answers to visit questions: (1) address: 2320 Avenue J, Omaha, NE 68111, (2) Friday 1330-1645 (processing ends 1500) & 1715-2030 (1845) & S/S 0745 to 1045 (915) & 1200-1500 (1330), (3) $20 in change maximum.

Got a rely from UM James Ellinger on the kitchen grievance: “Food service staff indicate that there is a lactose substitute available. The liver in question was cow liver and is well-received by many.” It was dated 02/13/2018, but was given to me today, 02/20/2018 by UCW Shademan.

Fight (verbal only) between JDLC and A about “respect” (while one of them was sleeping, I think). It’s funny because neither of them is very respectful of the rest of us who were trying to sleep at the time.

Talked to mom and gave her the address, visit window times, and the $20 coin limit. She said she talked to Optum and arranged the money withdrawal. It is about $1200-1400. Dad and K are working on the garage and road. Still too wet to work on the foundation.

Lunch sounded like it might be good – “pizza burgers”, but boy was I wrong. It was like a small drop (like half a tablespoon) of beef that had likely been sitting in a fridge for 3-4 days, slopped in the center of a stale hamburger bun and a slice of possibly-OK cheese. Started to feel sick from it less than an hour later.

Got a response from warden saying my medication would be available at OCC on 02/16/2018. I got it today, but who is counting the days.

Wed, 21 Feb 2018 [146 + 584]

Turned the phone table into Property this morning as well as staged six books and a pile of letters and magazine articles for mom to take. [“On Democracy”, “Statistics”, “Hamlet”, and three smaller books]. Got canteen.

Napped through the afternoon – hope I can adjust to less napping when I get out. Time had interesting series of articles on aging and Alzheimers. It’s a building (plaque) of amyloid. They can not PET scan for amyloid plaque buildup while a person is alive. Also NAD+ helps keep vital while aging. Elysium is a supplement that has NAD (Time, Feb 26 2018).

Thu, 22 Feb 2018 [147 + 583]

Nebraskans lack common sense and honor. Susan Strong is a Nebraskan.

There must have been a concentration camp inspector here for dinner because it was mostly edible – the lettuce wasn’t so rotten that you could see the brown liquid dripping form the leaves, the chicken had the striations in the meat that suggested it had really come from a chicken, and there was a relatively fresh chocolate cake.

Called mom to see if she got here OK (it had snowed last night). All was well. – should wee her tomorrow afternoon. The phone call was weird because my words to her had a 15-20 second delay. Guess the Gestapo was doing something corrupt on the line to make sure we weren’t coordinating a prison break. Ironic – the most corrupt of society “watching” the honest and hard-working. Quis custodes custodiet. Nessuno e niente.

Fri, 23 Feb 2018 [148 + 582]

Had a nice visit with mom. 7.5 hours was a long time to sit in those obnoxious children’s chairs though. Leave it to Nebraskans to make a visit with your family as miserable as possible – even for a 61 year old woman who has done nothing by care for other people her whole life. May they burn in hell. Need to memorize some topics for tomorrow so she doesn’t have to do all the conversation work. On the way out, I found out my coat, hat, and watch had been stolen from the changing room. I got a big shrug from the officers. When I got back to the unit, Charlin questioned where I had been and I explained that I had an extended visit. I told her about the theft of my coat, hat, and watch. She is working on tracking it down. lol – yeah right.

Sat, 24 Feb 2018 [149 + 581]

Had another great visit with mom. She was a little late because of an accident in Omaha between her hotel and here. I thought maybe it was the Nebraskans being assholes, but turned out it was just their incompetence at driving. Need to include on the next letter to mom & dad the details on how to use the Ancestry website, (2) reminder to use soundproof drywall, (3) notes on the network patch panel, but first need decisions on what TV-ish system that we’ll use (cable or satellite).

Surprised at dinnertime today. The guy who stole my coat yesterday handed me my watch back. He said when I left visiting area his coat had been taken and the officers said “just take a different one”. Perhaps they didn’t remember mine had a watch in it – but the truth is they just don’t give a rat’s ass. Anyway, got my watch back! The inmates here are moral moral and honest than the officers! I sent an IIR to laundry this morning per Charlin to get a new coat and hat.

Sun, 25 Feb 2018 [150 + 580]

Last day of visits with mom. The visits had been good, but now I feel more depressed than even before. Time for a nap – maybe when I wake up, it’ll be over.

Remember for the part of the book on the shady police stop that led up to this nightmare: they claimed the contents of the safe provide it was “mine” because of the checks and the passport, but neglected to note that it also contained J’s social security card and other ID and membership cards.

Got letters from B and K on Friday evening. K had more prison tie-ins (Green Mile).

The worst part of the terror here is the food. It’s tasteless, unhygienic, and worse than any other food-providing institution (restaurant, school, homeless shelter, or dumpster). It seems to be by intention. It’s engineered by the legislature to be punitive. They have a TV channel in prison that shows debates in the legislature and they frequently discuss prison issues and they more evil among them say “if they don’t like x, they should stay out of prison”. X could be “eating salmonella” or “their families to have to pay $10.99 a minute to call”, etc. One of the worst is Groene… he look like a pig and that’s the nicest thing about him. Good guys: Chambers, Ebke.

Mon, 26 Feb 2018 [151 + 579]

Charrlin really is just a hateful bitch. She wrote me up along with the whole room for something JDLC did while I was on a 8-hour visit. I WASN’T EVEN ON THE UNIT. Today I asked her for the direct order book and jumped into a nasty spiel about needing her approval. She had a crabby unpleasant demeaner when I requested the book and the same when I handed her back the book. She must have a very unhappy life to be so miserable all the time.

[Insert: Notice of Excess Property Release dated 02/21/2018]

[Insert: handwritten daily activity planner for month of February]

F asked me a bunch of questions about kids and marriage and I finally said “I’m gay as Christmas at Elton John’s”. He said “oh, you’re a homo” and I said “yep”. That was the end.

Got a letter from PD.

Kentucky governor Matt Bevin is on TV making an ass out of the whole state by saying they should arm TEACHERS!

Tue, 27 Feb 2018 [152 + 578]

Called to make sure mom made it home OK and she had. She said dad had even done the dishes while she was gone! She also said they’re going to be starting to dig out for the footers of the foundation!

Had canteen today – a day early since they had inventory on Wednesday. Spent $71- need to get that down to $50 or less/week. I think the pop tokens is the big expense.

More room discussion about the pending MR [acronym: misconduct report] caused by JDLC’s ridiculous behavior. I don’t know which behavior is worse: his childish ad hominems directed at a guard who almost certainly had in utero chromosome damage or Nebraska’s system that groups the rest of us in with him. I think the ancient Chinese had group punishments too: if anyone in your neighborhood committed a crime, they tortured the whole lot until someone confessed or they were all dead. Nebraska is as civilized as 2nd century China.

UCW Charrlin handed me a pass at 1520 for “property”. It turns out it was PHO, a room that reads you charges. I was charged with one count of SWEARING by Charrlin. I am not making this up, dear reader. The brownshirt who read the charges said I could show that evidence at the UDC. Going to file a grievance about Charrlin’s mental illness and retaliation.

Dinner was pizza, which might be good if it had been fully cooked. Also a mostly rotten lettuce salad, and dishwater soup. There are no other objects visible to the naked eye in the soup other than two rings of onion – no exaggeration.

Wed, 28 Feb 2018 [153 + 579]

Woken up early to attend another PHO meeting for another group write-up for when I wasn’t here. Working on the grievance for Charrlin.

Got my second meningitis vaccination. Had the nurse look at the rash on my right inner elbow to see if it was MRSA. She said it didn’t look like it, but watch for it to get bigger and warm to the touch.

F just left for work release across the street. He had to spend his tokens to I sold him a box of oatmeal cream pies and a package of peanut M&Ms. The others gave him a hard time for not giving them all his stuff. Good for him: I wouldn’t have given these assholes anything either.

[Editor’s note: ….? missing page(s)?…]

Said “get more exercise”. Other tests were good. He gave me his business card to write if I had another other concerns. [Redacted: Doctor’s name and address].

Here’s my grievance submitted on UCW Kelsey Charrlin:

I would like to suggest that UCW Charrlin receive a psychological evaluation. She has been having visual and auditory hallucinations. On February 23rd at 17:20 and 17:50 she believes she saw me in room J3A4 and wrote me up for yelling obscene interjections at her. In fact, I was in the visiting room from 13:33 to 20:02 that day as my mom flew in from [city].

I had seen her be petty and vindictive to other inmates on myriad occasions, but I assumed they deserved it for reasons that I couldn’t see. However, I have treated her only respectfully and courteously at every interaction. Hence, the conclusion that she may have a mental disorder or substance abuse issue.

Punishment as a form of conditioned response learning only works if the learner associates some (bad) behavior of their own with the negative feedback (“punishment”); otherwise, it is just abuse and torture.