Category: Prison Journal

472 down, 258 to go

Was hard to get out of bed at 3:40 this morning as the blanket, as thin and rough as sandpaper as it is, was warm compared to the freezing cold room. It was as cold as a Nebraskan’s soul outside. Jody was in the kitchen – I’m starting to like her a bit more because she really keeps on the lazy and thieving people in here. I told Perlman (who is a big-time thief) the story of her catching Jordan stealing French toast from across the kitchen. She appeared out of nowhere and caught him – I loved it.

If forced to, there is one good thing I could say about Nebraskans: that have good public television. That’s all gone now. They’ve been offline for the past two days and now I’ve missed Downton Abbey. The one good thing is gone and all you have left is a bunch of soul-less authoritarian-followers and their Sodom-like inhospitality, their overwhelming fear, their dirty air, and their shit-smelling water.

Nebraska is a one-issue state in local politics: lower property taxes. If a politician doesn’t participate in that lower-taxes off-shot of trickle-down faux-Christofascist-Capitalism, they don’t get far. All legislative sessions resolve around lower taxes for property. Income taxes and sales taxes – no problem. They do not care about their state milking urban and professional constituents for revenue, but their rural-skewed legislature wants low taxes for their rural communities. The rural communities are also the most fearful of life and thus the ones that push for the draconian criminalization of things urban dwellers are more likely to be interested in, all the while chanting and praying to their God Mammon, “small government” and “less regulation” when it comes to rural vices. If you’re caught drinking and driving in the country, they can’t even arrest you – even if there is some accident. It’s legal to drink and drive on country back-roads. Anywhere else – prison time.

Remember that old commercial from the late 80s or early 90s of the hippies trying to sell either 70s music or Woodstock music and the one hippie tells the other “Tyurn it upp myannnn”. Try to find that commercial on Youtube later.

Some favorite movies/movie sayings: “As Good as it Gets” (Nicholson, Kinnear, Hunt); Battlestar Gallactica (“so say we all”, “all this has happened before and all this will happen again”); Game of Thrones (“it is known” and “winter is coming”); that one movie with Danny McBride and James Franco (“playful kisses”); Princess Bride; Moulin Rouge.

Someone in Aaron Ray’s room across the hall just got rolled up for having a K2 episode. Stupid asses. I hope it was Erik Kluthe and not the beautiful red-headed kid.

470 down, 260 to go

Only 260 days left in Nebraska’s concentration camp system. 470 days done.

The hot kid Nick (Aaron’s friend) got caught last night with the vial of Aaron’s cocaine. I wish it had been Aaron that had been caught since he’s in my way to go tot work release and he’s a supreme douchebag. Plus Nick was some eye candy. Why do those stupid bastards take such risks so close to the end and when stakes are so high.

Something about the show “Pure Nebraska” – mentioned that the State of Nebraska keeps a list of approved religions. Find a list of hate groups and authoritarian-type clubs operating in Nebraska.

After 4pm count, Cpl. Candance came and “rolled-up” Aaron Gable’s bunk and locker. Apparently they caught him for this part in yesterday’s cocaine debacle. Good. He’s a piece of shit and incidentally this should move me up on the work release queue since he was here a few weeks before me.

My feet hurt like a bitch all day long. Then after a nap, things got a little better. I hope they continue to improve by work in the morning. I don’t want to go through an other day like today. Oh, my days off were changed today int he kitchen from Tue & Wed to Mon & Tue. Good – that reduces the overlap with Perman by two days plus I avoid one truck day (Mon). We will only overlap on Sat, Sun, and Fri now.

There was a Reuben sandwich in the vending machine tonight and the kitchen had “salad” so I went for the Reuben. Perman tried to get me to go through the line and give him my salad. Fuck that lazy bum. He already owes me $2.25 in loaned quarters for his cigarette addiction. He announced that he was quitting the kitchen. Good riddance.

I never heard back from Dillon from Aerotek this week. Fuck them. I wouldn’t work with/through them now no matter what. I hope TH is able to help me find a recruiter on the outside; he offered. I need to write my own introduction/explanation letter and be ready to mail it if he confirms.

469 down, 261 to go

The kitchen is getting on my last nerve today. They’re piling on busy work while I’m still busting my ass with the real work. I got crabby a couple times with Linda about that, but not sure she picked up on it. I need out of there.

Tried to ask Dufus Wingate how my work release application was coming along, but he just said “I’m sure you’ll come up soon.” He did ask my name before giving that reflex response so my guess is that he just mentally compared it to today’s posting and realizing it was not on it, gave the brush-off answer. God damn douchebag Nebraskans. May they all rot in Hell, but especially Whore Susan.

Aaron is taking chances for everyone in the room by bringing cocaine in and then inviting his friends in one by one to do lines with him. God I hate people. I am going to be a full-blown misanthrope by the time I leave this place.

Fuck Nebraska and it’s degenerate citizens. The hatred is overflowing.

468 down, 262 to go

Rod Rosenstein resigns. Seems like bad news for getting accountability for Dumpster-Fire. But we will have to see.

Asshole Drew just told me he got out of the kitchen and into an admin porter job for the 15-min a day of work that is far more inline with his laziness and capabilities. At least that mentally-unbalanced piece of shit is out of my hair.

I did something to my foot. It had been hurting lately already from work after a year of atrophy laying in bed at OCC and stress of abuse in the kitchen, so I even bought insoles for the state shoes to help with support. But this morning I was walking back from the common room and as I entered the cell, I felt the right side of my foot feel like it was being plucked like a guitar string. Then I was in pain every time I stepped on that foot. Even after two acetaminophen, it’s still quite a bit of pain.

Got a letter from BH last night. That was a nice treat. I wish I had gotten a reply from that recruiter – I guess that douchebag is not going to reply. If there is no reply today, I must assume that he does not plan to reply and I think I’ll check with TH about contacting a recruiter on the outside.

467 down, 263 to go

A day off! I’m thankful for that. My feet hurt like crazy from all the walking in these shitty prison shoes. My back hurts like crazy because of all the lifting and twisting. I’m going to try and buy some insoles today at canteen.

#TrumpShutdown continues. Dumpster-Fire is bloviating that he will declare a national emergency so he can build his ridiculous wall. I am about ready to say that I just don’t care anymore. This country no longer deserves my concern about its declining health. The People are complacent, hateful, selfish, and lazy – both intellectually and civically. 50% of them don’t bother to vote. They believe whatever easily-disproven propaganda is plastered on their TV. They cruelly imprison their own fellow man for profit and economic reasons and political reasons. The USA is in free-fall.

Possible book titles: “Nebraska Political Prisoner”. But I’m still liking “You’re doing too much”. Perhaps it’s even two different books. The latter book being stories and insults directed at Nebraska and more anecdotal with a light introduction to some of the major arguments. Then the “Political Prisoners” book as a general nation-wide interest book with more research into the various arguments. Maybe another idea: “National Disgrace”.

Got clothes package from mom! It was very human-like to put on jeans and to pull money from a real wallet (when I went to canteen). I sent a thank you to mom. I also let her know that I’m not sure when I’ll have the two-day passes and we might want to assume it won’t be there by February. The dishonest and deceit of Nebraskans is unbounded. She replied that they were looking at weekend of Feb 23. I submitted a special visit request for Feb 22-23-24. Will submit a special needs pass to go out with them Feb 23.

UCM Dorton came by around 1830 and gave me a DMV form to fill out and then came back at 2030 to collect it, my ID, and my birth certificate. Getting closer to getting my ID and so then I should be able to work and also hopefully check out library books.

466 down, 264 to go

Only 24 scaramuccis remaining. The kitchen was nice this morning without Erik, Drew, Andrew, or Moody. It was actually pleasant. Got complimented by Joe in front of [Kitchen Guard] Belinda. She is such an ugly person; outside, but far more importantly inside. She acts nice, but she didn’t lift one morbidly obese finger to help me while I was being threatened with violence for implementing her pogram of starving adult men doing grueling work for the State of Nebraska with meals that a child couldn’t live off of.

No Case Manager has been here for over three weeks. I wonder if he quit. God damn the State of Nebraska and the evil whore Susan Strong.

Got a reply from [Guard] Dorton. He said I’m on a list to go tot he DMV and I’d ben “hearing from him soon.” I sure hope it’s on a workday so I can get some rest from this back-breaking kitchen. It’s not complicated or difficult or too-much work, just too much for one 40-something overweight man on his own.

We had a room search again after 830am count. I left for work while they were still sniffing our underwear. I wonder why they picked our room. I’ve been here almost two months and haven’t seen any rooms searched until just now. I asked Aaron after why he thought we got picked. He thought it might have been because he told Cpl. Wilhelm to “get out” when she came in to do count. I heard it when it happened, but I thought they just had that kind of working-dysfunctional banter relationship with each other. I guess not; now that I know that I’d say that’s definitely why we were picked. I guess they’re just as petty here as at OCC and the inmates every bit as stupid. Well, maybe not…. it seems like maybe they only rifled through his stuff and bunk – so maybe they’re a bit more discerning with their spite than Charrlin and that fat dumbo, Pat at OCC.

I just noticed the slogan for MeTV is “MeTV is comfortable TV”. That’s apropos for Nebraska: a station showing old reruns of the days when old white men were in charge, women were subservient, black people were not “uppity” and a rare sideshow, and gays/lesbians/athiests/Muslims were just murdered on site without comment. Like: Rifleman, Bonanza, Stagecoach. That’s “comfortable” for Nebraskans.

I guess I got a raise to $2.25 per day this morning. I didn’t catch it earlier this morning, but that’s what Joe said happened.

“Biggie” from our room had a rough day. Apparently he might be a child molester. Aaron said that he got called out by some girl in one of their classes as a child molester. She supposedly “looked him up”. Then Aaron told me a similar story to the one that roommate Dan told about Biggie and Jordan exchanging oral sex at NSP; only in Aaron’s version it was not consensual for Jordan.

Speaking of non-consensual, I was injured during my slave duties in the kitchen. I was forced to scrub years of layered packing tape off of a stainless steel table (ground-level shelf) with a dull scraper and some steel wool. A piece of steel wool (one strand) got caught in a crease/groove/joint of the table, but only long enough for it to stretch the strand into a garrote and then it release across my fingers and lacerated three of them. Two of the finger wounds were a millimeter or so deep, but one went way into the finger near the index finger fingernail. It bled a lot. I showed it to Walraven so I could get some band-aids. Joe saw it too. I’m mostly worried about infection because the steel woold had been used to clean up old nasty food and shit on the bottom of the shelf. I’ll try to get some kind of anti-bacterial cream tomorrow at canteen. Lord know that completely useless bitch, Ina Thiel will not hike her fat ass out of the chair to help do actual health care for me. She’s too busy working on her corporal exam.

Just finished “A History: China” (Leay). Great book. So dense with detail and yet also a compelling narrative of the longest-running civilization. Love it. Hope I can retain even a twentieth of the information.

465 down, 265 to go

Just calculated: when I have 486 days done, I’ll have completed twice as many days as I have left. 21 days until that algebraic milestone.

I’ve started saying “fuck it” a lot just for the fun of it and it’s kind of cathartic too – even when I say it only for purposes of the joy it brings. I should stop, though. I don’t want it to be part of my everyday speech. Oh, fuck it.

Good news about the kitchen. The douche-bag Andrew Sucknickle is leavint the kitchen and going to road crew. Also, Erik the asshat (and super-thief) is leaving too. Hallelujah. Now if only Drew would leave too; things would be so much better. Moody is going to work release too – yahoo!

The inmate lunch today was shorted two cases of chicken. The recipe called for four cases (and the per-person allotment of calories), but there were only two cases in the freezer so they just made it with half was much chicken. I got like one chunk of chicken in mine. They should have called it corn starch gravy over noodles instead of “chicken over noodles.” I hope that I will be able to see all the Nebraskans burning in Hell for the concentration camp torture they have created here – especially their queen Whore Susan.

Check out a weight loss/health product called Goho. It supposedly helps return hormone balance to the body and thus improves health and weight management(better than nutrient restriction). goho.com

I remember when I first got to DEC, I went through the weird loss of sense of time. The whole time I spent in that hole was about 8 – 9 weeks, but even halfway through, I would be thinking “how many Saturdays have I been here”, and “how many Sundays have I been here”. It was probably only 3 – 4 – 5 at that time, but my brain was couldn’t fathom if it was 3 -4 or 50. It’s not right: it’s better to execute someone if you’ve written them off to this torture. It was a surreal loss of realistic passage of time: nothing to anchor to because every minute is endlessly the same as every other minute. It was shortly after that that I began keeping a calendar with hashmarks and shortly after that journals with unique entries to try and help maintain rational anchoring of myself in time.

464 down, 266 to go

Kitchen was uneventful today. [Guard] Shavon and Moody having a perpetual social club meeting. Drew x 2 kicking trash cans that I was moving around – the usual immaturity and deviance one can expect from them.

66 weeks finished today. Fuck you, Susan Whore, of Nebraska. 38 weeks to go. Only two days left of this “work week”. Started the last chapter of “A History: China”. Called “Republicans and Nationalists”. How ironic that in the USA of today, “Republicans (not republicans) are also our Nationalists!!

Was flipping through the channels and crossed over to Comet and “Trolls 2” was playing; what a dumbass movie, but… it inspires me to create something that compares Nebraska to the evil, rotten trolls. “Destroy the magic stone that gives the goblins their powers.” The Stonehenge. The one guy was kind of hot, though: Jason Steadman (real name, I think). But then I seem to be just very horny lately.

Did I write about something funny that the Animals came up with in the kitchen: fire fighters. People that don’t brush their teeth or aren’t otherwise up to their arbitrary grooming standards, they call “fire fighters”. This is because they must have just had time to jump down the pole before rushing to the kitchen to eat.. HAHAHAHA. I didn’t think they were capable of that much thinking, little as it was.

Watching “Allan Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold” on “This! Omaha” (42.2) with Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone and James Earl Jones.