Category: Prison Journal

  • 24 January 2019 – Thursday

    24 January 2019 – Thursday

    483 down, 247 to go.

    Fuck Nebraska. Their fire alarm just went off and no one even moved. This place is full of ass-clowns.

    Some rapper named Meeks or Mills is starting an organization to get criminal justice reform. Van Jones was on stage with him to announce it. Wonder if that’ll go anywhere. It’s about damn time, citizens starting acting. I won’t get my hopes up. The police state will rise up and crush dissent.

    The assholes in the room made noise late into the night. I was so tired all day long.

    Despite that I had a good trip to Barnes and Noble. I found six books that I most wanted: (1) C++ Without Fear, (2) How Democracies Die, (3) Heart of Darkness, (4) Meditations, (5) The Federalist Papers, and (6) White Trash: History of Class. The sponsor was kind of a right-winger, but enjoyable to talk to. We spent quite a bit of time at Arby’s talking about religion and politics. He offered to take me to the library some time.

    Some disappointing news about work release. It seems they don’t have my application anywhere. The stupid-bitch case manager is NEVER here and hasn’t responded to any of my previous IIRs. I put one into her on this topic too to see if she responds. These people not helpful and not even minimally competent at their jobs – unless their job is to lie, obfuscate, deceive, and distract. Now that I write it out – that’s very likely the situation. Wingate, who said “you’re probably up soon” the last time I asked about two weeks – now says “ok, something must be wrong. Write an IIR to the Case Manager”. Lauren is so dumb and lazy. She aske the same lame set of questions designed to push a person off every time. After some leading questions, she will finally admits in the end that she doesn’t know jack shit.

    Dalton was flirting with me after dinner. I just stammered like an idiot. He is so beautiful. Problem is that he knows it. Ha. Rob told me he has five children, but is “pan-sexual”. LOL. Yum, I want some!

  • 23 January 2019 – Wednesday

    23 January 2019 – Wednesday

    482 down, 248 to go.

    It’s cold as a well-digger’s ass out there today. Talked to DP on Monday .They had a great time in Vegas and Arizona. He got my birthday card and the comments about “Deadbook”. I need to remember to give that more thought.

    I hope my trip to Barnes & Noble isn’t cancelled tomorrow. The weather in the 9th Circle of Hell is bad.

    I’m getting some kind of throat infection. I can feel the growing gritty/grainy feeling in the back of my throat. The old man across from me has been coughing for two nights and Markus in the kitchen has been sick too. I might have gotten something from one of them.

  • 22 January 2019 – Tuesday

    22 January 2019 – Tuesday

    481 down, 249 to go.

    It’s freezing today in Hell. Several work detail crews were called off for weather. I sure hope Susan gets mangled in a horrible 10-car pile-up today. I’m sure I’d never be so lucky here in this unholy land.

    There was a granola and yogurt in the vending machines yesterday and today. Yum. I wiped both of them out. I miss granola for breakfast. I need to cut back on spending a bit so I can survive until work release without asking mom & dad for more money.

    Two more days until a Barnes and Noble trip. Chances are good with my luck and this Hellish nightmare place, it’ll be cancelled for some reason, maybe weather.

    When I get to writing the chapter on justice, check out the “Justice” and “Morality” sections of Aquinas. There was lots of material there that I wanted to use. Aquinas has a lot of great philosophy and methodological systems/language that is helpful for discourse and thinking. He has a lot of problematic ideas too, like those of women and contradictory support for slavery, etc.

    Delivering justice is hard work. Nebraskans are inherently lazy; they like to talk about them as if they are hard working, but they’re really extremely lazy and entitled – and nowhere is that more apparent than their approach to justice. They lie, cheat (didn’t follow rules about unreasonable intrusions; use fake drug-dog techniques, etc.) to avoid hard work. They also water-down the standard of proof (reasonable doubt of actual guilt) so they only need to say “we think this happened” and “it could have happened”; therefore, we will lazily more forward with assumption that it did happen. I will call this the Nebraska could-have-happened standard. They’re lazy in their policing activities; lazy in their legislative activities; lazy in their civic responsibilities; and extremely lazy in their practice of law and justice (e.g. Inquisitor Susan’s monotonal and lazy reading from her script).

  • 21 January 2019 – Monday

    21 January 2019 – Monday

    480 down, 250 to go.

    Only 250 days left in this Hell; 480 are done. It’s beginning to feel like the last days will be the worst and pass the slowest. I think my hatred of Whore Susan will keep me going. Well, that at the great support of my parents, family, and a few of my friends. I am thankful for all of them.

    Today is Martin Luther King’s birthday. The racist State of Nebraska recognizes it as a holiday, which surprises me. At least at this facility they aren’t serving fried chicken, corn bread, greens, watermelon, and the rest of the garbage they served at OCC.

    The lazy-ass from the vending machine company wasn’t here Saturday or Sunday. We had liver yesterday – and a couple other sub-par meals, so all the machines accessible to me are empty. Even the garbage stuff is gone. There are only cookies and energy drinks left. I noticed yesterday that on Thu or Fri they must have dropped the price of some of the over-priced items. They had these little pieces of sheet pizzas that they had been charging $3.50 for that yesterday were only $2.00 – much more inline with their actual value, but those are gone now too. I hope he gets his ass here today to fill up the machines.

  • Prison Journal: 20 January 2019 – Sunday

    Prison Journal: 20 January 2019 – Sunday

    479 down; 251 to go.

    Blah. Fuck Nebraska.

    At least I’m now off for two days. I’d like to finish the Blockchain book and the readings of Aquinas and the alternate for Age of Belief.

    Professor Nadine Strossen is speaking about hate speech. How ironic she would speak in Nebraska where they may speak pleasantly, but are more inclined to Hate Action. She is at the Lied Center. “What we will remember most is not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” – MLK. Her thesis: censorship is not effective against hate speech; counter-speech is.

    Heard a story of religious discrimination from the tall gay guy Rob. He was at North Platt in the county program and there they were forced to listen to ultra-conservative religious propaganda from like 6-7am. They grieved it and they lost. They contacted the UCLU-NE, who said “yeah, you have a case, but we don’t have any resources to fight.” This is how Nebraska gets away with so much unconstitutional stuff. Prof Strossen is alluding to this issue (discrimination that is illegal, but no one willing to fight).

    Content-neutrality is the basis for allowing hate speech. The speech in question must be associated/like to cause a specific, serious, imminent harm. -> “true threat standard”. “bad tendency test” -> too easy for government over-reach.

    Those God-damned Nebraskan didn’t bother to fix their horrid performance last weekend – that is – NET was offline all Saturday and Sunday. They didn’t replay the season 4 finale so I missed that. This week they started season 5 (Downton Abbey).

    I heard a story that Nebraska even keeps a person’s corpse until their sentence is over if they die before it’s over. I wonder if that’s true. It must be fake – that’s so depraved I can’t even believe it would be true of Nebraskans.

    The logic of maintaining a directory of past crimes. Also this scarlet letter is further proof of the solely retributive intent. As far as “fairness” to others in society (employers, et. al.) they don’t have the same warning for first-time criminals. Wouldn’t it make more sense to assume anyone could be a candidate for problematic behavior and plan accordingly? Bernie Madoff was a first-time thief. Everyone other person was a first-time thief before their first time. Analogy: medical people plan for anyone to be a carrier of blood-borne pathogens.

    Watching “Dead Man Walking” again. Good movie. I still think the idea of society ridding itself of murderers and rapists is OK in theory, but I don’t think it is ever possible to trust the government, politicians, lawyers, judges, jurors/sheeple, and witnesses/informants, and most of all the police to be honest, vigilant, ethical, and incorruptible in the execution of their respective duties/process of delivering justice. Clearly we myriad examples of frequent and egregious failures of duty in all those areas. There is the self-serving, unsubstantiated, and improvement-discouraging adage that says “our system is terrible, but at least it’s better than all the rest”. Would like to do a whole chapter picking apart why it is not the best and then why regardless of its rank among justice results of other societies is irrelevant and allows us to avoid responsibility to make meaningful measurements of our actual performance and then make improvements.

    Plato was right when he ranked democracy as the second worst, most oppressive form of government. It is great for a generation or two after the generation that achieves it – as that generation necessarily understands the value of various institutions, safeguards, and incredible responsibilities required of the citizens. These duties include voting, being educated about the institutions of society, current issues, and the values of their representatives; running for office themselves when the current roster is not doing a good job or have served enough; dutifully serving on juries, military assignments and other civic organizations; paying their taxes; communicating ideas, opinions, and statements on their values to their representatives (and listening to their constituents when they occupy those roles); and participating in respectful public discourse with their fellow citizens about the health of the democracy.

    After the first couple generations important lessons are lost, trade-offs are made, sacred cows are created and unhealthfully worshipped, and eventually as citizens, become too lazy to check on and adjust the rules governing their representation (judges, prosecutors, police, politicians, regulators, etc.) corrupt citizens learn how to use the rules to consolidate primary goods and personal power. These malignant citizens chip away at the power of regular citizens who still do participate and can’t check that erosion of power with a large number of regular citizens who have abandoned their responsibilities altogether or simply just “go through the motions” and agree with whatever simple messages are relayed by the malignant citizens through now-corrupted institutions (media, police, “justice”, etc.). In the words of Battlestar Galactica: “All this has happened before and all this will happen again”. The concern this time is the incredible gap between the power of individual citizens and the now-authoritarian government. In past cycles…. <more research here>. Try to find that book: “How Democracies Die”.

    In some of the systems created by rationalists an attempt to make their relentless time spent in contemplation and study seem like less a waste of time and opportunity cost of more “fun” (according to larger society). That is are we really seeking immortality of the soul or salvation through truth or some other achievement or are we just doing it because we like being smart or pithy and those other things are justification. And does this question even matter?

    Tried to call TH – no answer.

  • Prison Journal: 19 January 2019 – Saturday

    Prison Journal: 19 January 2019 – Saturday

    478 down; 252 to go.

    68th week finished. 36 to go in this fucked up, degenerate state full of two-faced sociopaths. The kitchen is full of thieves. Today while doing a pull for the next day’s menu in the freezer, I heard the freezer door slam. I found the cook’s assistant in there shopping for his own personal lunch. Then an hour later Jody asks us to open a box of hamburgers for diet trays but there was not diet trays to be made. I guess the connection there could be coincidental, but for sure, the inmate was stealing.

    Working in the kitchen is getting super-obnoxious. They choose not to approach the theft problem without any shred of logic. They just add more inventory checks and paperwork procedures. Watch the dam cameras for 20 minutes. And here’s a real crazy one: DON’T LET THEM STAY IN THE KITCHEN after they’ve been caught stealing. You’d think that would be a no-brainer; alas these are Nebraskans and they have no brains.

    I feel full of piss and vinegar today. I need to find a publisher and start working on the book content. The only issue is that I hate writing and editing on paper. Maybe the book title should be “Perverse Justice”? Perverse Justice and Other Tales from Hell. Nebraska’s Prison Enterprise. Nebraska’s Human Trafficking Business. Life Inside the Prison State (Nebraska). The Nebraska-Prison Complex.

  • Prison Journal: 18 January 2019 – Friday

    Prison Journal: 18 January 2019 – Friday

    477 down; 253 to go.

    CBS and NBC calling teen vaping an epidemic. What a bunch of liars and busy-bodies. Leave people the fuck alone. I’m so tired of busy-bodies and bullshitters trying to control how everyone else gets through the day. What if we started calling coffee an epidemic? Food-eating is an epidemic. Breathing is an epidemic. Right after that, they (NBC) had a segment, “Do you have a tech addiction”. The constitution says “promote the general welfare” not “control and dictate general welfare”. We’re welcoming the shift to fascism by inviting someone else to make our decisions for us (the media, militarized police, busy-body experts, politicians).

    The kitchen sucks as ever. A lot of standing around and pretending to be busy mixed in with repetitive tasks and busy work. The 25th is coming up – need to decide what to do about changing jobs. I would stay until work release if it wasn’t for how hard the grunt work is on my injured back. Ugh… not sure.

    Oh, Irony of ironies… just saw a commercial for scamawareness.org saying maybe people aren’t as smart as they think they are. That org needs to be careful… people may begin to realize they’re being scammed by the government and mainstream media too, like the “vaping epidemic” bullshit this morning.

    Nebraskans are the worst people on the face of the Earth. Fake and inhuman. I can’t say I’ve hated any group or individual as much as I hate Nebraskans. Especially the vile cunt, Susan Strong, judge without judgment.

  • Prison Journal: 17 January 2019 – Thursday

    Prison Journal: 17 January 2019 – Thursday

    476 down, 254 to go.

    “Work will set you free” – God I hate Nebraskans. The nicest thing that can be said about them: they treat their citizens and visitors better than North Korea. There they imprison you for no good reason and kill you with botulism. In Nebraska, they just make you sick with diarrhea and give you diabetes with the state’s flagship product: high fructose corn syrup. They call meth “toxic and harmful” while peddling their equally toxic HFCS and mad cow beef.

    Got a reply from the Canteen Bitch that she is going to order the Dorco 4-blade razors. Got the approved visitor form back for mom and dad’s Feb visit.

    I’m reminded of the first case plan that I had at OCC a few weeks before I left where Case Manager Schwizow was trying to push me into having children. Besides the absurdity of the conversation as I wrote about after it happened, it really is a demonstration of the depravity of a Nebraskan. They want the people that they’re torturing to procreate – why? So there is another another human available in the world for them to terrorize and enslave. Sick people.

    Things that are actually worse at CCCL:

    • no library
    • no shower privacy
    • no pooping privacy
    • less food, a lot less – although quality is about 20% higher
    • less opportunity for exercise
    • lower slave-pay: far more work for the same joke-wage
    • excessive fees (an ATM withdrawal is three-days work)
    • no TV

    Things that are the same at CCCL:

    • amount of liars and crooks on the state staff (“work detail is 30 days”)
    • poor medical care
    • shit-smelling water

    Things that are better at CCCL:

    • personal needs visits

    Nebraska: At least it’s not North Korea.

    Research question: in what year or in what time-frame, chain of causality did the USA change from a country of heroes that proclaimed “Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death” (freedom > security) to the compromise-on-every-Liberty for illusory-Security cowards that we are today? 1968? Was it the Nixon administration with FISA? Reagan? McCarthy era and communism hysteria? Military-industrial complex build-up? As Sun-Tsu predicted – if you fight an enemy long enough, you become him. 9/11? Patriot Act? We’re so afraid some of a few starving Guatemalans that we are going to spend $6 billion (to start, at least) to build a big, useless wall so we can feel “safe” or “racially pure” (if you divine the real motivation of trump supporters).

    My Country Tis of Thee

    Land of Abandoned Liberty

    Of Thee, I Mourn.

    Land of Atrocities

    Land of False Pieties

    From Every Prison Camp

    End Slavery

  • Prison Journal: 16 January 2019 – Wednesday

    Prison Journal: 16 January 2019 – Wednesday

    475 down, 255 to go

    Got absolutely zero sleep last night. I think because I absent-mindedly drank one of those energy drinks around 1830 last night. I’m dragging now (0815). Took a nap after kitchen… Oh, God – what a wonderful thing a nap is! Note to self: never drink those big energy drinks again. Besides keeping me awake, they have 400+ calories per can.

    No response to my special visit requests or personal needs pass request. What the fuck is taking these stupid, lazy Nebraskans so long. Still no work from that rotten bitch in the canteen about Dorco razors.

  • Prison Journal: 15 January 2019 – Tuesday

    Prison Journal: 15 January 2019 – Tuesday

    474 down, 256 to go

    Yesterday was a good day, so bracing myself for a day of terrors and disappointment. That seems to be the pattern of Nebraska.

    A dull, lazy day, but no terrors (still a couple hours left, though, I guess). Perlman hinted that there were some changes int he store room of the kitchen that make it even more miserable place than it already was (is that even possible?) I really need to make myself go to AA tonight since I missed last week. How I really don’t want to go!

    Reading up on religious philosophers Augustine and Aquinas in case my conversation with Gary Cross (the sponsor) wanders into that arena. One of my favorite quotations: “[God] Grant me chastity and continence, but not yet.”

    Ok, I could not force myself to go to the AA meeting here. I can’t stand those meetings. I hate the feeling of a church liturgy – the weird chanting and mindlessly reading poorly developed and internally inconsistent, unprincipled ideas. Then there is the part where everyone shares, but there is no discussion, feedback, correction, etc. It’s like everyone is having their own private conversation, but out loud and in public. So… I tried to get Lauren to lookup the SMART Recovery locations in Lincoln. She found there is one on Tuesday nights. She said to check with the case manager. So I wrote an IIR to try and make the case. I sure hope these stupid fucking Nebraskans will let it happen.