Category: Prison Journal

  • 3 February 2019 – Sunday

    3 February 2019 – Sunday

    493 down; 237 to go.

    The prison here is actually worse than at OCC. The only value in this place is the rare visit days and pass days. The staff are more obnoxious; the work is more obnoxious; the food service is abysmal; the inmate more hateful and entitled. This is a living Hell. The toothache doesn’t help.

    For lunch, we had a philly cheese steak sandwich. The mixed vegetables hadn’t been steamed at all – they still had ice chunks in them. The soup was made from leftover corned beef and cabbage and steak appropriately.

    Joe was a no-show again on the freezer work. I need out of the kitchen. Apparently he came in around 2-3pm. Walraven started screeching for me around 2:30pm. One of the trucks with a huge load of cans had collapsed and the tower of boxes had crashed. They needed me to restack them because apparently the kitchen Gestapo can’t get the afternoon people to do any work. I went off a bit. Then Joe started guilting me about the freezer and I went off about that too. Then I helped him to finish up the freezer so he could get back to Superbowl watching and I could get to my weekly Downton Abbey.

    Turns out Downton Abbey is not on this week because NET is having a fundraising drive AGAIN!! God damn cheapskate Nebraskans can’t properly fund the one God-damned thing that this state full of evil troglodytes has that’s good.

    I hate fucking stupid-ass Nebraskans. Please, Yellowstone super-volcano, wipe out these demons from the Earth.

    AH emailed about coming for a visit in May. I emailed mom about a suggested itinerary for the end of February. Also wrote an IIR to try to get a dentist appointment.

  • 2 February 2019 – Saturday

    2 February 2019 – Saturday

    492 down; 238 to go.

    Horrible toothache.

    I need to get out of the kitchen before I get into trouble. That rotten bitch leading the kitchen is pissing me off at every turn. Besides that ridiculous over order at every turn, for the amount of people she has to unload it, she replied to my note about kitchen workers not getting a proper meal with “menu is subject to change without notice.” Today we were supposed to have a baked potato, but it was “substituted” for a 1oz back of salt (bbq chips). That’s quite a substitution: some grease and salt OR a vegetable/starch. That fat toad-faced bitch. I hope Karma comes to visit.

    Her name is Belinda England.

  • 1 February 2019 – Friday

    1 February 2019 – Friday

    491 down, 239 to go.

    Yesterday Maria (guard) and Joe (inmate) had a conversation about how they only wanted white people in the store room. Maria said it was because black people are all thieves and they are not very hard-working. Joe chimed in “yeah and if you say anything about it, they scream racism”. Linda was there are the beginning of the conversation, but she took off before the end; I think she was a little uncomfortable about them saying the things out loud that all Nebraskans actually think, but usually say with their inside voice. I wanted to say “well that is the textbook definition of racism: treating an individual differently based on characteristics perceived to belong to a race that properly belong to the behaviors and accomplishments of an individual person. But it seemed like wasted effort: they’re Nebraskans.

    I didn’t realize the purpose of their racist race conversation until today when a black guy started work in the storeroom. Joe said to make the new guy lift all the heavy shit so the guy would want to quit. I just walked away. God, please get me out of this Hell of tainted souls.

    That rotten bitch in the kitchen (Belinda) ordered a ridiculous set of orders (bread + produce + 6 pallets from US Foods and 5 pallets from Cash Wa). The freezer is packed from floor to ceiling right now. I had to unload it myself (Cash Wa) since Joe had a Trade class and the new/third guy didn’t show up. I cursed and criticized the intelligence of Belinda in front of the night stock guy and Maria. I can’t wait to get out of that ridiculous, asinine place.

    The yard was closed after 4pm count. Later it turns out that they had brought drug drugs into the prison. I didn’t personally see them, but apparently they were led down our hallway. I guess they are/were strip-searching the work release people as they returned from work. Cuba(3) says the dogs were led through the food service area. Hs said at other facilities the dogs were sometimes let onto inmates’ bedding to sniff around and paw. It’s no wonder people here are sick all the time: stale/unfresh air, unhygienic food preparation, persistent shit smell hovering in the air, and filthy animals pissing, shitting, slobbering, and breathing all over our food and sleeping quarters. Nebraskans are filthy people – physically and spiritually.

    Reading “How Democracies Die” and loving the book – though it certainly is scary what the content portends for the USA.

    Zach was making conversation earlier about his lack of a tack-board. He said I had a “nice setup” down here. I saw he was reading “Pillars of the Earth” by Ken Follett. I told him they had made a mini-series out of it with Eddie Redmayne on HBO, BBC, or Shotime? I wonder if he’s gay? I saw him sitting with Rob and Dalton last night. He doesn’t set off my gaydar too much though.

  • 31 January 2019 – Thursday

    31 January 2019 – Thursday

    490 down; 240 to go.

    More miserableness from the kitchen manager, Belinda; though she has so far been respectful in word and tone to me personally.

    Last night Austin Lozo had a K2 episode. Around 630pm we could hear hollering coming from the dayroom direction. Turns out Lozo was naked in the bathroom trapped under the stall partitions puking and shitting on himself uncontrollably all over the bathroom. He will be sent back to DEC and start over. He just keeps making stupid decisions. I hope he gets better. I do like him as a person.

    Going to the DMV today at 3:50pm. Got my Nebraska ID temporary card. They closed the DMV and had a special session just for the work center. There were about 15 inmates and 4 officers. I sat next to Dylon Alfredson and Cameron Goldman on the way back and they were talking about drugs and sex with girls. I had some impure thoughts about the two of them.

    Oh, I have an adorable new bunkie named Zack. He came from WEC. He made a reference to being sorry for sticking his “junk in my face” (which he made his top bunk bed and I was on the bottom bunk watching TV).

  • 30 January 2019 – Wednesday

    30 January 2019 – Wednesday

    They have the heat cranked up to an unbearable temperature. Starting around 12a-1a it got to be like a sauna. It was impossible to sleep. The room was crabby. When I got up at 3:30 to go to work, I slammed the locker lightly as usual. The black guy in DU and Chewie mumbled and grumbled. The black guy got even more aggressive when I came back to the room to drop off my toothbrush and toothpaste. He said something like “I’m not going to be woken up by that every morning.” I replied that if he had some other ideas to let me know. When I came back later in the day, he didn’t say any more about it. I put in a maintenance request too as this locker is a little noisier than the old one.

    The kitchen is toxic. The state staff is attacking itself. The ugly (personality and face-wise) kitchen manager (Belinda) yells at the other employees over stupid shit that she should have come to accept in a prison. Or if she can’t accept it, then do something productive about it – like fire the known thieves, for example. They catch a thief in the kitchen and put them right back to work. The guy Jesse Wallace was caught by her with three prices of chicken in his pockets and they promoted him from dishwasher to assistant cook.

    They had a fire drill on the coldest fucking day ever. It’s like -12 degrees in Lincoln and they call a drill. The weather channel warns 30 minutes outside yields frostbite. But the depravity of the State of the Nebraska knows no bounds.

    Watched “Lars and the Real Girl” again on This!Omaha. I forgot how adorable that movie is. I remember watching it with HS in Cincinnati when it first came out.

  • 29 January 2019 – Tuesday

    29 January 2019 – Tuesday

    488 down; 242 to go.

    Only 22 scaramuccis to go. My bunkmate Burgos (Christian?) leaves today. Lucky bastard. He speaks hardly any English and I know absolutely no Spanish, so I didn’t really get to know him at all. He seemed like an OK guy though – except he only spoke Spanish at very high volume, even as people were sleeping. Good luck to him.

    Last night and this morning, the news was showing a story about a convicted murderer that was on work release here at the center who walked away from the center on Sat. His name is Anthony Gafford. They showed an old picture of him, but I think I do recognize who it is. Wonder why he’d risk his near-freedom position to walk-off early and start a new sentence. Probably for sex or drugs, I guess.

    1011 News has some retarded guy that does the remote reporting: Eddie Dowd. He is weird and not a great speaker – he’s not beautiful either and yet I find him kind of attractive. I would not kick him out of bed for eating crackers.

    I think the dirtyrottennebraskans.com would be a good website. From there I could collect stories about other corrupt and degenerate citizens of this horrid state.

    Jeff Flake is doing a CBS series. Interesting turn of events from a possible presidential run. Maybe that’s a good results for the democracy. He wrote a book, too, I think. Was it called “Common Ground”? or maybe he was just talking about finding common ground. Common ground; common good; common sense. Wonder if there are any interesting insights at the intersection of those three concepts.

    I consider myself a liberal, but really that requires definition because liberal means different things to different people. The word comes from Latin “liber” meaning freedom. The 18th century freedom movements, especially in the US and France were called “liberal revolutions” and produced “liberal democracies”. In the context of change or particular issues, liberal can mean “looks to the future or to novel ideas” for solutions, as opposed to conservative, which in this context shows a preference for solutions from the past that have already been proven and preserves the status quo as much as possible. This paradigm does not require a person to be one or other at every issue, though it is common to lean one way or another over a broad range of issues. It seems that a person would be liberal when it comes to issues and ideas where there have not been historically good solutions or fairness and conservative toward those that have been working fairly well for vast numbers of people; however, for a variety of reasons, that is not always the case (or at least people do not identify themselves as liberal or conservative by issues). It is in this context that I identify as mostly-liberal.

    The other context for liberal and conservatives is the derogatory (often) one that each camp gives the other. Conservatives of this category define liberal as welfare-loving, wealth-redistributionist, crime-tolerant, drug-using people. Liberals consider conservatives to be Bible-thumping hypocrites, greedy, self-serving, false-moralizing, and authoritarian-followers. These versions of the labels are (or seem) more in common use since modern times, but are the least accurate for most of the people they are applied to and part of the divisive politics and civic discourse.

    Burgos left. I switched to the BN locker. The officer that directed the move said that he would “remember to come right back with the combination” (that was around 9:30am). Of course, he’s a Nebraskan, born to be a liar. By 3:30 I was still locked out of my locker and had missed my after-lunch pill.

    Canteen manager replied back that she would order the Dorco razors and cartridges again for Feb 7. The case manager replied back that she might be inclined to make the Feb 24 pass exception, but needs to check with the new permanent case manager. Scdoris replied back regarding “computer jobs” on detail that she would “let me know”.

  • 28 January 2019 – Monday

    28 January 2019 – Monday

    Title: “Terrible People”. Nebraskans are all authoritarian followers. They are quite two-faced. They lack common sense.

    Oh, can’t remember if I already wrote down this idea. I was thinking of sending a note to see if I could pay the state $1.21 to not work in the kitchen. That would be a funny social experiment.

    The case manager (Donovan) was here today with the door actually open for communication. Found that they did in fact “lose” my Dec 10 work release application. God damn stupid-fucking incompetent and sadistic Nebraskans. I filled out a second application and handed it directly to her 10 minutes later. I also asked her about exceptions to male/female lockout days. She was unwilling to budge on that issue. However, she did say that I was eligible for a furlough, but that it required 45 days of notice because it had to go through the parole board. She did say that I might be able to get an extended pass. She would check with the warden on that.

    Watching Nebraska legislature. I really like Ernie Chambers. They were debating whether women were doing/involved enough. The female senator was Kavanaugh.

    It’s extremely cold here in this Hellish wasteland and wind up to 70mph. The weather here is a metaphor for a Nebraskan’s soul: a frozen and empty wasteland.

    Maria caught me at lunch time and said that starting next week, I’d move to Wed/Thu as days off. Hopefully only for a couple of weeks.

    Book title: Dirty Rotten Nebraskans.

  • 27 January 2019 – Sunday

    27 January 2019 – Sunday

    486 down, 244 to go.

    Jody made a snide comment about the kitchen workers stealing. I replied, “I’m not a Nebraskan; I don’t steal.”. She didn’t say anything after that.

    Wrote another IIR to Belinda. For today’s lunch we were supposed to have a chicken fillet, BBQ sauce, baked beans, potato salad, and a cookie. Kitchen workers got a chicken patty and a cookie – the other three items were gone before we got to eat. They offered some wilted lettuce or green beans as supposed substitute for the three missing items.

    The new roomie in AU (above Biggie) is maybe even more manipulative of women than Aaron Gable, whose place he took. He was talking to Biggie about how he had a list of women to go through to find one to support him. Sure enough, he’s spent the last three days on the phone being a total dirtbag. He tells them all kinds of sweet things and that they need to trust him and let him “be their man”. It’s so gross to hear since it’s clearly a lie. From the pushback he gets in the convincing he has to do, it at least seems like the women on the other end of the call are rightly skeptical. It’s funny how otherwise very unintelligent people learn some sophisticated manipulation techniques

    Perman just said that he was approved to change jobs to be an admin porter, which means that he won’t be back in the kitchen Monday or Tuesday, my days off. They better not try to call me in. I am glad that he’s gone though. That’ll leave more regular work for me, so time will pass faster. He just borrowed another $3. God damn, I’m tired of that bullshit.

    Well, never got called by Scdoris for a job change. I guess she wasn’t fooled by my pre-dating the job change IIR (change requests are due by the 25th of each month). Damn it.

    Beautiful Dalton tried to get me to buy him another $3 monster drink. I told him no. God damn it. I knew he was a fucking beggar. He wants a sugar daddy without putting any work into it. I’m not giving him money for an occasional smile in the hallway. Not that he has to prostitute himself, but we rarely speak or hang out or any other socialization that warrants gifts.

  • 26 January 2019 – Saturday

    26 January 2019 – Saturday

    485 down, 245 to go

    69th week is complete. Only 35 left in this disgusting Hell.

    Wrote IIR to case manager yesterday about my work release status. Wrote to her 1/15 too about SMART Recovery meetings. Still haven’t heard back. Wrote today to Dorton to follow-up once again on the DMV trip for an ID. So far I’ve messaged him on 12/6, 1/2, 1/8, and today. Also sent an IIR to Scdoris to see if there are any “computer” jobs since I heard Rob say that he got one and it’s paid hourly.

    The kitchen really pissed me off today. The meal is “soup and sandwich” and by the time that the kitchen workers got served, there was no soup. I wrote an IIR to Belinda. Still thinking of writing a grievance. We barely get any all under normal conditions, but I’m getting so tried of running out of food additionally just because the kitchen workers eat last and she doesn’t make enough to cover all the theft that she lets happen.

    Forgot to write earlier this week about two encounters with nasty state troglodytes. On Thu or Fri (Friday, I think, because Perman was working), the fat bitch in the control room got crazy rude. I stood by the front door for a minute or two with the sack-lunch cart that I had to get to the outer dorm in time for them to leave for work. She didn’t turn around or make any signal that she knew I was there, so I knocked on the window. She got super snarky. Guess she hates her own life so much, because she is super-fat (her belly hangs close to her knees) and super-ugly. I guess it makes her feel important and powerful to verbally abuse one of the hostages.

    Then Thursday, Cpl Wilhelm was rude when I was coming for my personal pass

    [[Editor’s Note: there might be a page missing here the last section ends abruptly and the next page starts a new topic.]]

    Book themes: “The Problem with Nebraska” or “Nebraska’s Authoritarian Problem” or “The Ninth Circle of Nebraska”. Maybe also a “fiction” story about revenge on various corrupt judicial officials who are caught by one of their victims in a homemade prison. Kind of a dark revenge type book? A book of short stories involving retribution against corrupt judicial/law enforcement by wrongfully imprisoned or otherwise victimized by an out-of-control, profit-seeking injustice system.

  • 25 January 2019 – Friday

    25 January 2019 – Friday

    484 down, 246 to go.

    God damn, I hate this place. If it was possible to go back to OCC w/o a stop at the concentration camp, DEC, I would.

    Was watching the 5pm news on “10/11 News” and there as two segments that really highlight Nebraska’s bad character. The first is that the legislature is considering a bill on medical marijuana. They had some octogenarian railing against the “movement” with no real factual or rational reasoning given. He just wanted to push his authoritarian opinion onto every other citizen. No liberty to make your own choices in this state. They hate freedom for other people with a passion in Nebraska. You can bet that old bastard wasn’t out campaigning against another Viagra when it came out, despite being “unnatural”, and “contrary to God’s Will” or “promotion bad social behavior”.

    The second issue – never mind. It was about Facebook charging credit cards of parents using “friendly fraud”. This is actually real fraud on Facebook’s part. Facebook is evil.

    Cell phone use while driving is up a lot. No rush by fraudulent-organization MADD to imprison people for 7 to 10 years for that, despite the complete equality of death caused by drunk driving as those caused by distracted driving. Is it because they don’t really care about reducing vehicle deaths due to rogue drivers, but they’re really just anti-alcohol and anti-freedom.

    Perman paid me back $3.50 tonight via the vending machine. I’m happy – I was worried he was going to rip me off. We’ll see about Jordan, who borrowed $5 yesterday.

    Roger Stone arrested in Florida. What’s that smell – is it COLLUSION? President Dumpster Fire still pouting over the dumb-ass wall. Supposedly there’s a deal to reopen government for three weeks. I hope those pussy Democrats don’t cave – directory or indirectly.

    Also an interesting article about the Sackler family. They peddled Oxycotin to the country knowing it was likely to be abused and cause serious health and lifestyle issues. Wonder if fake-judge Susan Strong will be giving 4 to 6 years to each of the Sacklers? Just like Sean Penn’s son getting $1000 fine in Nebraska for the marijuana & amphetamines. Susan is a hypocrite and liar and a human trafficker.

    The asshole fascist Nebraskan deciding what medical treatments everyone else should be permitted to use is: Tom Osbourn. The news people asked for feedback on social media. It’s telling that all the anti-medical marijuana messages are ignorant or authoritarian in nature: “if you want medical marijuana, move to a state that’s already legalized it”. None of them made a true, logical proposition for why the personal liberty to choose this option for treatment should be withheld by the state.