Prison Journal: July 2018

Sun, 1 Jul 2018 [276 + 484]

On the way back to the room, AT said that a friend of his from the kitchen said to avoid the sloppy joes because they were contaminated. They did not elaborate on the what the contamination was. BP said the last time we had cornbread, he was working on cups & trays in the kitchen and he saw the cornbread was moldy. He told Ofc Douty/Touty who said “yeah, it probably is. I’ll take care of it”. He “took care of it” by walking away and leaving it alone.

Fat nasty bitch Stone is on the unit today. She is gross on the inside to match the outside.

Prison glossary: (1) “chewing it up” idiom. – giving oral sex, (2) “fire” – good, as in food; (3) “looking like a snack” idiom. looking good, as in for sex.

Website for African investment projects: www.dangote.com. Maybe I should go there and look for work and life in a better place.

SP got his medical appointment for the HIV test that I helped him argue for. Apparently the nurse supervisor just threatened to have the cops issue a write-up for the underlying risk behaviors if he didn’t give up his request for the HIV test. I helped him write a third IIR saying that he wanted to have a real physician to review his request based on medical facts and medical judgments and if they intended to refuse again, to provide the name and medical license number of the refusing physician.

Sent another special order for a new set of books since they rejected the format of the last one and a new catalog came in since with more desirable books: a beginner book on Mandarin Chinese, Turing cryptographic puzzles, learning chess strategy, etc..

Wrote back to TH. Also got an email from B asking questions about my dining room table. I offered it to her since I was unlikely to have use of it in the foreseeable future. Also sent her a query about who that one writer/philosopher who spent time in a prison cell as part of a bet about which was worse: prison or death. I can’t recall if it was a real story or something that person had written.

I love me some Downton Abbey – every Sunday at 3pm now on PBS. This is like the third time I’ve seen the series and each time it’s still as wonderful as the first time.

Watched CNN’s American Jail – wow, great stuff! Adam Foss, MA prosecutor and ‘Prison Legal News’.

“I like your lip gloss” (Pose) – about sperm. LOL

The water from the water/ice machine has a brown tint to it after only one day in a plastic cup. The water from the bathroom sink smells like shit or decomposing animal.

Mon, 2 Jul 2018 [277 + 453]

Large Group uneventful. Submitted three book requests at the library: (1) A Theory of Justice (Rawls), (2) An assembler for Intel or Motorola, (3) C++ for Java Programmers. Also sent an IIR to Librarian Morton thanking her for her help and great selections.

AT and SP are sociopaths. They described someone at NSP being beat nearly to death. Some guy they both knew (R..?) slammed someone’s head that he had already knocked-out until there was a huge pool of blood around him. While they told the story they were both cackling like crazy. I asked “What is funny in that story?” and AT said “because he disrespected the ‘hood.” Yes, that is mental illness.

Tue, 3 Jul 2018 [278 + 452]

Have a doctor’s appointment at 0915.

Took a shower and it donned on me that even the towels are designed for humiliation. You’re given three ~16″ x 6″ towels to wash/dry yourself for the whole week. The towels are razor edge thin and don’t actually absorb anything – they just push the water around. The towels are big enough to dry an infant – maybe.

That reminded me of the trick at DEC where they would steal your clothing while you were out on the yard or gym (they = officers). If no one saw it, they would not say anything and they’d treat you like you lost the clothing. If caught, they’d act like what they were doing was normal/OK… borrowing your clothing (often coats) for use with another inmate without any washing/disinfecting between people. The guard they called Bearcat at DEC did that to me with the coat once. You’re issued a brown rag they call a coat. We went out to yard one day and I chose not to wear it. When I came back in, someone who had been still on the unit said she had been in the room and took my coat. She wasn’t going to say anything. She just took it for someone else who was the same size and had wanted a coat for going outside. I don’t know if they would have tried to make me pay for the missing coat if it hadn’t been revealed. Nebraskans and filthy and dishonest. There’s no moral or behavioral distinction between the average inmate and the average guard, or the average citizen.

Met with the doctor about the knot/cyst under my armpit. By this time, it was almost 80% gone. We concluded it was probably not lymph nodes, but likely a skin issue that was clearing up on its own. Also, showed her the bump in my mouth. She said it was a tauri and nothing needs to be done. She called in the dentist and he confirmed and added that removing them is actually very problematic – they don’t heal very well or quickly. Unfortunately, there’s very little chance that these prison “doctors” will tell you the truth or act in your best medical interest.

Funny saying from the Vacation remake, about being asked for safety equipment: “Yeah, I keep them next to the tampons”.

Adorable guy named C moved into room 5 next door. Has a heart tattoo under his left eye.

Was so hungry and tired of the three different meals I can make out of my locker so I thought I’d brave the kitchen. It was a tuna melt, jello, and macaroni salad. Far as I could tell, it was all cooked properly and not too far from past date. I guess you can eat raw tuna safely anyway, but the chances of it being real tuna and only real tuna are astronomical. Wonder if I’ll get diarrhea from it as like a normal kitchen meal… We’ll find out shortly.

Oh, the Special Issues class was a total waste of time. The instructor, Bless, came for 5 minutes, told two stupid stories, and then left!

Topic for the book: supposed family values people, Nebraskans split up families for minor infractions, like drug possession. Check with the library here to see if they have court register, list of convictions, races-of, sex-of, etc..

Common prison joke: “Do you know Bofa.. from NSP?” When you look puzzled or start to say no or ask “who?”, the punchline is apparently “bofa deez nuts” and then they grab themselves for a few seconds. It gets quite the laugh.

Wed, 4 Jul 2018 [279 + 451]

I will no longer celebrate the 4th of July as a holiday. Henceforth, it will be a day of mourning. Once a celebration of freedom of a liberal democracy, but that liberal democracy hasn’t existed since the 1970s. For some people it’s never been one. Now we have an oligarchy leaning toward theocracy, a perverse cross between George Orwell’s 1984 and Margaret Atwood’s Handmaid’s Tale.

Senate backs intel community conclusion that Putin got Trump elected. Duh! But they’re not going to do shit about it.

Started watching Season 2 of Animal Kingdom on TNT. Wow, I love it. So many hot guys in it and even some gay sex!

Thu, 5 Jul 2018 [280 + 450]

28 scaramuccis down, 45 to go! Large group was decent today. Graham was on vacation and Allmendinger was standing on. One life story – DL. The aerospace guy asked about using alcohol when his drug was meth or maybe heroin. He got one of every answer: one guy who said any alcohol led to meth; P said alcohol or marijuana led him to <<place>> that led to meth and I said Anne Fletcher says it’s at least possible to moderate/use other things w/o relapse of the out-of-control substance.

AR won the last night’s prison powerball game. Damn it – this is why I have gambling! 🙂

Really stupid video about Omar and Pete and a homework for Monday in Relapse II class. No class tomorrow.

Got a reply from my kitchen grievance. The kitchen “meets or exceeds all federal, state, and local laws and guidelines. Board of Health inspects this area and no food quality issues have arisen. By James Ellinger (liar-spectaculare) dated 07/05/18.

UNO is offering two writing classes for this Fall. I sent an IIR requesting to be added to the open house on July 15.

UCW Shademan was telling one of the rooms that they all failed because someone hung stuff from the ceiling vent. I found in the NDCS manual where it says that any disciplinary actions have to be caused by a voluntary action of the inmate and be intentional, something, or serious, but always voluntary. Someone else putting something on a vent can’t be voluntary. They don’t follow their own bullshit. I guess the average Nebraskan can’t read, so they figure they can get away with any kind of threat or abuse and the Illiterati just accept it or lash out with violence instead of the pen. They have the sense that what something is unfair or not right about the write-up or punishment for someone else’s transgressions, but not the vocabulary or ability to delay gratification in order to pursue a different method.

Fri, 6 Jul 2018 [281 + 449]

Degenerate Pruitt resigns. Wonder if that means they will stop investigating this crimes. So much for “zero tolerance” for law breaking. “We are a nation of laws” until it comes to fat, rich men and then… it’s suddenly sufficient if they take their ill-gotten gains and leave to setup shop somewhere else.

Date set for Pro-Life Nebraska’s first execution in 21 years – Carey Dean Moore.

Submitted a visit request for Aug 31 to Sep 2 for mom and B.

Rude cunt Bonnet is here again tonight. I can’t wait until that snotty whore is finally gone. No mail Wednesday, Thursday and so far today. They stopped doing mail on Saturday too. Guess the mail-reader is on vacation. Wonder if it’s legal to withhold the US mail for that many days in a row. The law is only for the poor and minorities anyway.

Tonight’s kitchen meal didn’t have any obvious rot or mold – a rare treat.

Reading about Augustine in the 12 Great Philosophers book. I really like this book; I might see about getting my own copy. I need to get caught up on the stack I already have first.

Sat, 7 Jul 2018 [282 + 448]

July is now 22.6% complete and only 47 days left of SAU. 38.6% done with this captivity and torture in Nebraska. I guess I could luck out and die earlier.

Check out Kara Walker’s art. I like her art and politics. She hates Adolf Trump too. Cai Guo Qiang – Heaven’s Complex No 1 – gunpowder art. Ai Weiwei – Journey (2017) – Michael Rovner – unsettled people not-equal civilization. What is Dadaism? Seemed like impractical objects as art.

Another anecdote regarding the chaotic and not-corrective, not-security related nature of what goes on here: the cell inspections. Shademan fails the entire room for drying clothes by hanging them from air vent. He says the rule book says that is a serious issue that necessitates everyone fail – even if you had nothing to do with it – even if you weren’t aware it was there. Today, Mr. Benjamin comes through for inspections and I see someone has laundry hanging and I point to one of the guys next to the vent and he pulls it down. Benjamin sees it and says “don’t worry – that’s not important” and continues the critique of the bunks. Crazy!

Nasty chicken sausage for lunch. If only it was just lips and assholes – it would be a step up from this. So I had another tuna in chili sauce from the canteen instead.

Sun, 8 Jul 2018 [283 + 447]

Burn in Hell, Susan Strong.

There is a hot guy that hands out the sporks at lunch that always says “enjoy your meal”. I’m pretty sure he says that to everyone, but he always stares into my eyes when he says it – I guess it could be because he sees me eyeing him down. haha. Anyway, would love me some of that.

Finished my second Relapse II homework that hasn’t been collected or discussed. What is the value of an completing a thinking/writing assignment that is never evaluated or given feedback or discussed or anything? This one was on a video that we spent two class hours watching. It was a total waste of time. The assignment was “which of these characters do you identify with”.

Slept until 1130 or so today. Had to force myself to stay in bed – just wanted to kill some time. I find myself getting more and more irritated with every stupid thing people do in the room – and there is a lot of stupid stuff that goes on. AT is a stone-cold sociopath and I think SP might be too. JH is an unrepentant thief – though for some reason I don’t totally dislike him. AR is a fucking lunatic – he spazzes out of the slightest things. He sees deep insults int he most minor of things; the same things that he does to other people and doesn’t see it as a problem then. I have to get out of here or I’m going to go crazy.

Skipped evening E. Coli poisoning and ate tuna out of my locker instead. Mailed the birthday card to KP. Changed sheets and made a canteen order.

Mmmmm… watching some lady make chickpea stew and faroe. elliesrealgoodfood.com. Oh, forgot to write about a neat show I saw a couple of days ago… a lady on TBD was making some homemade extracts. She had these nice little bottles and in them, put: (1) vanilla beans, (2) lemon peel, (3) orange zest, and …. and then filled the glass jar with vodka, I think. They looked beautiful and functional as well.

Mon, 9 Jul 2018 [284 + 446]

Slept terrible because I had diarrhea – again. Probably from the Shepard’s pie yesterday. Or the water. Have something in my throat too. Feels like a sore or strep or who knows what in this cesspool.

Got up at 630 for class. Tried to brush my teeth but was assaulted by some knuckle-dragging twat who thought he reserved the sink while he went walkabout by leaving his garbage above the sink.

Large Group was full of dumb today. That idiot R (“Too Tall”) release something stunningly stupid every time he open that gaping maw. Another genius, C, is getting ready to graduate and go to work release for the third time. He was kicked out last time for being high on K2 and chasing the prison perimeter truck around the prison. The first time he was kicked out was for being high on K2 and falling off a salt truck and passing out in the snow. I’m so tired of stupid Nebraskans. It’s getting harder and harder to hid my disdain and outright hatred for them. But I need to – just a little longer.

Lunch was chili cheese fries and more thoroughly rotten lettuce. Filed a Step 1 Grievance with the Warden. Also got the address of the Department of Public Health: Office of Public Health, PO Box 95026, Lincoln, NE 68509. Listed kitchen managers in the grievance: Touty and Schomer. CT also wrote an informal grievance (the actual first step). He said he talked to Schumer who said (about the rotten lettuce), “It’s not up to me”. It was decided by Dickey, Food Service Manager (to serve rotten lettuce).

Got a list of companies in Omaha that will hire people with felonies. The list is encouraging. There are several companies that I know have software shops and maybe some of the many businesses that I don’t recognize have them too?

CT shared his desire to go into substance abuse treatment as a career. Sounds like he’s been thinking about it seriously.

Tue, 10 Jul 2018 [285 + 445]

One third of the way through July – woohoo! Also, I start that keyboarding class today. Will be good to get my fingers back on a computer keyboard for a few weeks to make sure I can still type.

Yesterday Cpl Lund told us that he had a BS in Sociology and a BS in Psychology. now he hands out rolls of toilet paper to grown men and polices the use of the use of the bathroom. CT said he told him that wanted to be an SAU counsellor. Poor guy – has some cognition problems – or some reason he can’t use those degrees at a real job in the real world.

Potential chapter title: “Bro, as spoken punctuation”. (Chapter on prison language/communication).

Remembering some of the “fairness” stuff from Theories of Justice (Barry): people considering an agreement or resolving a conflict may start out at unequal places or with unequal resources. This point/condition(?) is called the nonagreement point and if modeled on a Cartesian system, would be the origin. From the origin, which hides the unequal starting points, they move away from the origin and reap “cooperative surplus” until they keep going out to a theoretical curve (Pareto Frontier) where no one party can achieve any more without taking from the other participant. Fairness is finding that place on the Pareto Frontier. Not reaching the frontier means that one or both lost some utility of cooperation that went nowhere (wasted).

Pizza burgers for lunch today. Ugh. Wonder what rot or pathogen will be waiting inside.

Had the keyboarding class – thank goodness it is self-paced. I was getting between 67 and 90 wpm, depending on the content and how long I had been going at it. I got much faster on regular text as opposed to the random sequences of characters. Glad I haven’t lost that, at least.

The Warden grievance came back to me in the prison mail. I guess I have to deliver it directly to her or Ellinger, the unit manager. Will do tomorrow. Their pettiness is not going to keep me from submitting it.

Wed, 11 Jul 2018 [286 + 444]

Got up for breakfast – probably the only meal that I like here is the egg sandwich on Wednesday morning. There were some partially cooked mystery-meat little wieners too. Thankfully all the cooking oil in them likely gave the E. Coli living on them arteriosclerosis, so they maybe they were safe to eat.

Went to Resident’s Council at 8am and although it was useless as far as its intended purpose, Fallin did tell us in a coded way that Ms. Fairgood was leaving after next week. She is a rotten bitch anyway, but at least she isn’t rotten and dumb, like Bless.

Health Inspector came through to look at the cleanliness of our rooms. We asked if he was the one who inspected the kitchen. He said yes and so we pummeled him with information about moldy break, rotten lettuce, persistent diarrhea. After while he said “I’ve been doing this job for 41 years” and he finished up his inspection and left. Near the beginning of the encounter, the prison guy escorting him around said they had been to the kitchen and admitted to finding “some problems” in the kitchen and we got snarky about how there should have been “many things” and he said “some, but not many”.

Thu, 12 Jul 2018 [287 + 443]

Burn in Hell, Susan Strong. The Whore of Lincoln has a place already in the real Hell as solid as her place in the hell she creates everyday in Nebraska.

Honeybun and Diet Dr. Pepper for breakfast. Embarrassment Trump in Europe. Maybe they’ll shoot him while he’s there!

Got a phone tablet from Property but no headphones. Wrote the letter to the Innocence Project. Also wrote a letter to HR to see if she was interested in letting me work for them again on the work release program. Started working on the setup steps for JG, but need to confirm the stuff mom and dad are expecting and/or what they’ll need to have ready for the electrician.

The Devil’s Step-Daughter Charrlin is here again. Damn she’s a miserable cunt. Kowolski is here too, but she is generally a human being, at least.

I have no reason to believe that the letter to the Innocence Project will produce any results, but for whatever reason, I have some hope. Maybe I should call it a fantasy or what DP calls “magical thinking”. Supposedly the arc of the universe bends toward justice, but seems more of a myth.

Holy fucking Christ.. they’re talking about gang shit AGAIN. Every damn day for hours on end. GDs, Crips, Bloods, Peckerheads, Pisas…. Who is going to fight who? Who disrespected so-and-so’s ‘hood? Is there anything dumber than that shit? Or is it just as real and legitimate as partisan politics and serves some important sociological function. I just can’t get past how immature the reasons/goals for the significant violence done. I guess I should approach it more scientifically, but scientists get to go home and relax at the end of the day. This is round the clock.

Fri, 13 Jul 2018 [288 + 442]

Very productive yesterday. Glad for that. Excited about what may come from the Innocence Project letter. Got the address for FedLoan and wrote them a letter asking for a forbearance and to update my account.

Watched “The Commuter” on PrisonTV. I guessed the person would have a red tattoo because they called her Prynne. I was right about the allusion, but wrong about the details. The girl just had a copy of the book.

The kitchen served turkey salad for dinner. I didn’t go because I might pop a blood vessel in my head if it’s brown-soup rotten again. CT came back and said the lettuce WAS NOT ROTTEN! I wrote an IIR to the kitchen manager: “The lettuce in tonight’s meal was hardly rotten at all! We prefer lettuce that is not slimy and dripping with brown juice, so wanted to that you for that”.

Good news on the Mueller investigation. Twelve Russians indicted and tie-ins to Roger Stone. I’m impressed and proud of Muller’s and Rod Rosenstein – two Republicans that I might vote for – possibly the only ones. Rosenstein curbed the Hell out of the Congressional Republicans. It was beautiful – he pointed out their putting party above the interests of the country.

Sat, 14 Jul 2018 [289 + 441]

pbs.org/greatamericanread – vote on the best novel. Got a nice letter from PD yesterday. Added a task for this weekend to write her back. Started learning how to solve Sudokus. I figured they would be easy to find a general solution to, but I don’t think there is one.

Extra long nap to make the day pass faster. Picked up my [medicine] prescription. Worked on Sudoku and some crosswords and other puzzles. Called mom and dad. The roof is on and they’re starting on the Windows. The electrician starts Monday and they’re getting a bid from a second plumber this week. The brick layers also start this week. Dad discussed meeting with the HVAC people and I suggested they inquire if the furnace he selected had a capability of being controlled remotely.

AJ sold her house and is moving to a condo in L. CJ’s brother TT apparently has Stage-4 cancer and they don’t have him to survive the weekend. They said it came on really fast.

Sun, 15 Jul 2018 [290 + 440]

29 scaramuccis down, 44 to go. Had to go to medical early. I had messed up the check to the library loan program. The assistant library officer was doing double duty in the medical area so she called me there to write out a new check.

We’re in a full-blown constitutional crisis. It began when Mitch McConnell denied President Obama his presidential authority to name a SC justice and continues as Congress undermines the administration of justice (i.e. subverting the DOJ active investigations). Our democratic-republic is in serious trouble.

Investigate “Young Turks” – neat progressive organization. Digital media Conk Uygur – “home of progressives”.

Watched “Rainmaker” – great movie. Shave, shower, sheet change. Made burritos with SP; actually he made them and I supplied the groceries. Made my canteen order and this will be a big one.

Mon, 16 Jul 2018 [291 + 439]

Large Group – waste of time. I refused resident of the month giving the Lyndon Johnson nomination refusal statement. Hard to say things to the graduates about good prospects for them when I know one of them trolls the bathrooms for K2. If you can’t stop using drugs when you’re in a substance abuse treatment program in a god-damn, so you can leave the god-damn prison, you have no chance on the outside.

Dinner was an enchilada. The chicken was not cooked all the way through – it wasn’t just ‘not warm’ – it had the taste and consistency of rawness. As usual they used old tortilla shells or something else gross that is not intended for baking, because it becomes slimy/pasty in consistency. It makes you want to gag when you start chewing it and you feel the pasty wet slop in your mouth.

Went to UNO meeting and signed up for an English Composition class; that was the only one they offered. I am not sure if I will get in it, as there is a listed requirement that you must have at least 18 months left and I only have 14.5 left as of today. If I do slip by the proscription, it starts Aug 20 and runs on Monday nights from 5:15 to 7:50 and ends December 10th.

Sent an IIR to Law Library for a pass to discuss any thoughts or recommendations on writing to the Pardon Board.

Got a card from HR and some research from B/mom.

Tue, 17 Jul 2018 [292 + 438]

6am drug test. Fuck Susan Strong, Satan’s Whore.

It’s a surprise to me that the country is surprised that our president is a traitor. The only thing I am surprised about out of the Helsinki Summit is to learn that Trump spits – I had him pegged as a swallower. Rand Paul is a Russian puppet along with Meadows and Nunes. I hope Mueller gets them too. I’m excited to learn that the NRA is involved in the election corruption. I hope that terrorist organization gets taken down too. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Russians are bank-rolling that whole organization.

The whole unit smells like a sewer. Literally. I should ask them if this is healthy. Ha.

Got into an argument with Bless in Special Issues class. She asked me what I said to anyone in the past who confronted me about drug use. It never happened, so I could not provide such an example. Then she started pressing me on why meth was illegal – I replied “religious proscriptions” and she started talking about “safety” as the reason. Then she asked me something else and intimated something about why I was here – and I ended up by saying I was innocent, which she balked at, but then moved on. Then she asked about jobs and spent 6 to 7 minutes disparaging someone’s choice to work at a waste management place. How rich and hilarious that a PRISON WORKER would disparage anyone else’s job for being trashy, unimportant, not-valuable, and/or immoral.

She did finally collect the homework after two weeks. Wonder if I’ll get kicked out?

Wed, 18 Jul 2018 [293 + 437]

Got my phone headphones finally from Canteen. Apparently you just have to argue a bit to get what you need. Even though the instruction from Pedrick was there and so was the fact that I wrote an IIR to canteen. I didn’t get my chicken either because I had hit the $85 limit – probably because of the damn headphones.

Got a reply from KP about a bankruptcy attorney; she said she knows an attorney that might be will to help me – JD.

Thu, 19 Jul 2018 [294 + 436]

Still here. Seems like WEC is a possibility again and is still as torture-addled an option as it seemed at the beginning. God damn Susan Strong.

Feeling depressed. hateful. stressed.

Fri, 20 Jul 2018 [295 + 435]

2/3 mark for July. Finished Inside the Criminal Mind on Wednesday and started AR’s The Science of Evil yesterday.

Returned the book to Allmendinger and had a brief discussion about it. I told him it was a good read, but not scientific and the fact that he referenced Ben Stein and Dinesh D’Souza (a criminal and right-wing trashbag) really detracted from his credibility.

Talked about balance in Relapse class. No mention of my argument with Ms. Bless on Tuesday. I saw the temporary SAU supervisor reading our homework that was turned in Tuesday. I hope I don’t get kicked out when they see all the “bend over and take it” answers to the parole questions.

They kicked out two people today: annoying dumbass MB, supposedly for calling someone a ‘chimo’, but probably could have been that he has been doing drugs the whole time. Also JJ, the black guy with dreads. I think his might have been drug related too. I think they thought MB was going to be violent because they stripped him out and they packed his stuff up too and moved him to K-unit.

We got a new roommate to replace AR, who graduated on Wed. The new guy is a K2 zombie too. Before he even unpacked he shared a K2 stick with AT. The K2 addicts are now a majority of the room.

Ate in the lunchroom for the first time in a while. It was a soy burger and French fries. I figured vegetables would be safe enough – magical thinking.

Sat, 21 Jul 2018 [296 + 434]

God damn Susan Strong.

This new roommate is so stupid and full of shit. He has really brought out the criminal behavior of AT and JH. They spent all day and night talking about crimes and very deviant behavior. Lots of talk of scamming people. They consider people stupid and worthy of being cheated because those targets are compassionate after natural disasters. AT specifically talked about standing in front of Walmart after disasters selling baked goods and saying you were raising money for the disaster victims, “but you gotta dress up nice… like a button down shirt, tucked in”. That led to another hour of stories of good scams that they had done themselves (AT, JH, S) or heard of.

Earlier int he afternoon, the same group was talking about the Bible and AT said he knew people that prayed for hep from God before they went to “hit a lick”. JH explained that “hit a lick” means “robbed”. Good grief: sociopaths!

Had to sit out of the room from 530 to 730 while AT got a tattoo from another Latino guy from Room 5 (fat guy in kitchen whites).

32 days left of SAU. Need to stay on track and get the fuck out of here without any conflict from these losers. Need to suck it up. I’m surprised how some people are completely blank slates: JH – when he’s with normal people, he acts right and can’t agree enough about being a decent person and decent person stuff. Then as soon as the rooms flips to majority sociopaths, he flips without a shred of self-awareness that he’s done a 180. Or maybe he was just fooling me the other times.

Sun, 22 Jul 2018 [297 + 433]

Slept in until 830. Woke up to the psychopaths loudly discussing drug purchases and product quality. Another weekend almost over. Finished reading Science of Evil by Simon Baron-Cohen and I returned it to AR on B-Wing.

May Susan Strong burn in Hell, but first, please let her suffer an excruciatingly terrible pox that causes pain and suffering.

Heard from KP who ask if I was wanting to file in O. I said that I was fine with that , but asked what the implications or requirements are since I’m stuck here in Hell. Now that I’ve thought more about it, I wonder if she was implying that I would have to appear or something like that.

The drug zombies are on the search again. Well… it’s not so much a search as they are trying to come up with 20 tokens. I think JH just disclosed his wife carries K2 in here for him at weekly visits. Stupid to do when he’s so close to the end.

Mon, 23 Jul 2018 [298 + 432]

PF announced for the Large Group that I was writing a book, so I talked a little about it.

Had a 9am appointment with Legal Aid to ask questions about writing to the Pardon Board. Turns out there is an application, but it takes 17 tokens and I only have 11. I tried adding a second canteen request asking that they add a 25-pack of copy tokens to my order. We’ll see how that works.

Quote from Mark Twain (Samuel Clements): “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigoted-ness, and narrow-mindedness”.

Watched piece of interesting documentary of travel to Poland.

Went to lunch in the kitchen today because I was starving after only having tuna packets yesterday and I couldn’t eat another tuna packet today. It was “open face” meat sandwich. What kind of meat is anyone’s guess. They had a bread bin and sure enough the first piece I pulled out was full of mold. Thanks to Hyvee and the State of Nebraska. Hyvee is a local grocery store and when their bread is too moldy to donate to regular causes, they still want their donation write-off, so they dump it at the prison.

Lund is here again. He lets people get away with stuff that he shouldn’t. He walked in here saying to AT that he shouldn’t wear a hate in case someone walks in and sees him.

Tue, 24 Jul 2018 [299 + 431]

Redid my canteen sheet last night to add copy tokens so I can get a pardon application. Got up early to shower as I stunk. I think someone was touching my feet while I slept, but when I woke up to see what it was, there was no one there.

Rotten lettuce salad on the menu again – didn’t even go. Instead I made a sausage, cheese, and rice burrito. The sausage is so greasy, I can feel my arteries hardening just writing about it. People came back from lunch and said it was not rotten lettuce today.

Got the Aug-Sept visit form approved. Also got the receipt from the warden grievance. It was marked as received July 10th.

Watched a video called Bad Dads in the Special Issues class. It was a bunch of trash. I wrote a sarcastic paper about how it was unscientific and if it had been, why wouldn’t Nebraska actually implement the program instead of showing a video about other people executing a program?

Glad there is only one MCC Keyboarding class left. It’s getting boring doing the same paragraphs and exercises. I hope there are some decent classes unlocked that make this worthwhile.

Wed, 25 Jul 2018 [300 + 430]

For the last few weeks, the weird (but adorable) kid from Room #5 has been hanging around the downstairs bathroom for big chunks of time: sometimes he plays with his face, sometimes his hair, and other times scrubbing his shoes with a toothbrush. Last night he was playing with his face.

300 days done!! Not even half-way yet. News banner on CNN: “Why the Heartland is Hurting?” That’s an easy answer: they’re soul-less, greedy, stupid immoral sons of bitches. They see education as a frivolous expenditure and, if engaged at all, something to be done with as quickly as possible. From that base of knowledge, they continually make bad decisions, like imprisoning the fraction of population willing to stay and paying to house them for years at a time. They elect Republicans who transfer their wealth to big corporations and businesses that belong to their friends – and not even ones that are necessarily in and spending money in their own state. Ultimately they suffer because that’s what they want – to be martyrs in a sick perversion of Christianity where greed is good, violence against your neighbor is the norm, and creating victim-scenarios lets them continue to believe they are martyrs.

One library book as come in but I’ve been there twice already and they’ve been closed.

David Cornsilk self-learned Cherokee tribal law to defend black Cherokees (“Freedmen”) and won (granted them citizenship). But the forces of evil are more powerful – they amended the Cherokee constitution to change the citizenship definition (to use the Dawes census). 5 Native tribes held slaves.

JH was caught with K2 on the yard this evening. He’ll probably be kicked out of the program. How stupid can a person be? He’s been here for a long time and was 30 days from the end and even then couldn’t stop and behave. I hope they catch the other two big K2 addicts in the room. They’re risking all of our chances of getting out of this Hellscape on time.

Thu, 26 Jul 2018 [301 + 429]

Got my first of the loan books from the July group: Theory of Justice, by John Rawls. Got the pardon application as well.

JH packed up and left after lunch. He was pretty distraught. I left him alone so he could talk to his wife in private from the room.

Lunch was spaghetti – I went and ate it as I assumed it would be safe enough. There was a dinky salad that was only 25% rotted, so went ahead and picked through it since I was really hungry. Sure enough, though, now and hour later and I have diarrhea.

The Anti-Christ’s concubine Charrlin is on the unit tonight, spreading her own unique form of violence and hatefulness. I tried to use the bathroom after early lunch lines were called. There was one cleaner and one guy washing his hands and she refused to let me go pee or even line up for it.

SP is making burritos for us so we can avoid the nasty breakfast burrito filth that they are serving for dinner in the kitchen.

Fri, 27 Jul 2018 [302 + 428]

Got some great pictures from mom. Things are coming along nicely. The view from the pictures are amazing. The aggregate rock out front looks great too.

Got a reply from the warden-grievance. She basically said I was the only one who complained about the lettuce, which was a lie, and also side-steps the other examples of corrupt food service. I need to decide whether to follow-up with the next step of the grievance. I think the moral thing to do would be to continue to fight for human food for everyone else who doesn’t have a voice or because I hate liars and Barb Lewien has now declared herself to be a god-damn liar, to say nothing of running a concentration camp that her German family could be proud of. The other option is to let it go and coast until work release.

CT made peanut brittle – yum! But then Charrlin took away the plastic tote that he was working with. She said she was going to write him up. Then 10 minutes before count, she popped in and said she wasn’t going to after all. Very peculiar. That thirsty bitch probably wants to jump him – can’t blame even a cunt like her from admiring the beauty of CT.

Sat, 28 Jul 2018 [303 + 427]

Watched Mean Girls again. Too much candy today: CT made peanut brittle. BP had some really great chocolate cake. I can’t believe they can make all this stuff with only a microwave and Canteen ingredients. The kitchen serving trash again today: a pock-marked “cold cut” that I took right from the serving line to the dish tray turn-in. For dinner, just slept through the chicken and dumplings – probably avoided a salmonella infection.

Wrote to lawyer Jeremy to find out what the county attorney’s name and what the disposition of Jay’s case was – for the pardon application.

Read Chapter 1 of A Theory of Justice (Rawls). Good so far – going to enjoy it, I think.

Sun, 29 Jul 2018 [304 + 426]

Freezing this morning. Didn’t want to leave the blanket. Susan Strong is an evil, sadistic whore. Another miserable day in the 10th Circle of Hell (aka Nebraska).

Mon, 30 Jul 2018 [305 + 425]

Large Group was interesting – PF brought up that SAU wasn’t trying to help people who had just left the program to attend NA meetings. The prison is trying to say HIPAA prevents that – and I called bullshit.

Another rambling Relapse II lecture from Stupid Bitch Bless about shame, guilt, and acceptance. More homework about sponsors and relapse plans. It’s about the 10,000th one and we still haven’t gotten feedback of any kind from #1 through 9,000.

Sent an email to NDCS Contact (on email) asking for help getting some bleach for Unit J3A because it was a safety and sanitation issue. No response. If inmates are the cause of even remotely related to sanitation or safety, it’s a five alarm fire. When NDCS is the cause of even severe sanitation issues, crickets.

CT has been making a lot of peanut brittle – it’s good stuff, but a lot of sugar. I need to learn how to make it because it’s soo good. Peanut brittle and warm/fresh crunch and munch… YUM.

Almost the end of another month: 14 months to go after this one. Only 22 days left after tomorrow, of SAU, I mean.

I arrived at a model for the impact of farts. There are three properties that affect the impact: intensity of smell (“stink power”), the duration (“hang time”) and the dispersal area (“spread”). Could also be called the “total damage model”. This might be a funny item for the Potpourri section of the book? Sorry.

Tue, 31 Jul 2018 [306 + 424]

10th month complete! 14 fucking months to go. I am not sure I will make it – or my mind and soul won’t anyway. Burn in Hell, Susan Strong.

I wonder how MP is doing. I wish I could write him a letter, but have no idea how to get ahold of him.

Didn’t get an invitation to doctor’s appointment in July as committed to. Wrote a follow-up IIR to Mengele’s staff.

Had the last class for MCC keyboarding. I don’t think I could have taken any more of that. I am glad for the opportunity to keep my typing skills up, but it was mind-numbing toward the end. I got the Step 2 Grievance form from UCM Carroll and I have decided to go ahead with. I’ll finish it this coming weekend and turn it in on Monday.

Douchebag Duffy yelled “Shakedown” at me as I walked back to the J3 unit building and then molested me in front of the building. I thought that was just a word the inmates used to describe the crime of being violated by the guards (or mobsters used in movies), but they actually refer to their violence by mob/crime words. Nebraskans are the paragon of White Trash – everyone one of them.