Prison Journal: 15 January 2019 – Tuesday

474 down, 256 to go

Yesterday was a good day, so bracing myself for a day of terrors and disappointment. That seems to be the pattern of Nebraska.

A dull, lazy day, but no terrors (still a couple hours left, though, I guess). Perlman hinted that there were some changes int he store room of the kitchen that make it even more miserable place than it already was (is that even possible?) I really need to make myself go to AA tonight since I missed last week. How I really don’t want to go!

Reading up on religious philosophers Augustine and Aquinas in case my conversation with Gary Cross (the sponsor) wanders into that arena. One of my favorite quotations: “[God] Grant me chastity and continence, but not yet.”

Ok, I could not force myself to go to the AA meeting here. I can’t stand those meetings. I hate the feeling of a church liturgy – the weird chanting and mindlessly reading poorly developed and internally inconsistent, unprincipled ideas. Then there is the part where everyone shares, but there is no discussion, feedback, correction, etc. It’s like everyone is having their own private conversation, but out loud and in public. So… I tried to get Lauren to lookup the SMART Recovery locations in Lincoln. She found there is one on Tuesday nights. She said to check with the case manager. So I wrote an IIR to try and make the case. I sure hope these stupid fucking Nebraskans will let it happen.