Prison Journal: October 2018

Mon, 1 Oct 2018 [368 + 362]

Woke up for to a very smelly room Not sure what the source was, but thankfully it’s gone now after the cleaning of the floors. Since it stunk I went to breakfast to escape the smell while it was being cleaned.

Need to get my ass in gear on this paper. Damn it.

Yikes, terrible earthquake an tsunami in Indonesia. 844 dead and 17,000+ no homeless. Terrible.

Finished the response to challenge #4 just in time. Kind of an uninspired production. At class, I got the first paper back with no teacher feedback but two student feedback sheets. The student feedback was pretty terrible. No grade from teacher until next time.

No word from the case manager about my NCIC check; although she was here today.

Tue, 2 Oct 2018 [369 + 361]

Nothing good to say.

The NCIC report came back OK, which is good news. CM says we can finish up on Tuesday, 9 Oct, as she says she needs to work through some internal steps the rest of the week. I will be in queue by Thursday, 11 OCT. Hallelujah.

Donald Trump caught helping his family dodge takes. LOL. Outright fraud.

I said unpleasant things about Ms. Bless twice in one day. Need to keep working on my goal of only being pleasant or constructively critical.

There is a hurricane off the coast of California – craziness! When will people wake up? Not Nebraskans, but real people?

Talked to Dad. Been raining here too much for good progress. The inside insulation guy has been sick. As soon as drywall is up, they want to move in as their temporary location is too small and soon will be too cold. Will call mom tomorrow. Oh, and the 401k check arrived yesterday.

In a decent mood because NCIC check step is over and it seems like I will probably make it to work release by Thanksgiving. Fingers crossed.

Wed, 3 Oct 2018 [370 + 360]

Learned yesterday that the officers and gang members communicate informally to decide who can be out walking free on the prison campus. Our ex-roommate A who was due to come out of the hole from his fight last week and a rumor of that spread at least on this unit yesterday morning. By afternoon, the same rumor mill was saying that the Pisa gang was OK with that, but the Peckerwood gang said NO WAY and he never came back.

President implicated in second set of crimes: evading taxes in the 1990s and “outright fraud”. I hope this picks up steam and ushers him quickly to prison.

So far in a good mood. Work release is within reach. But no guarantee that corrupt actors will be consistent with their own corrupt machinery. 37 scaramuccis down and 36 to go – finally past half-way by scaramuccis.

“The Donald” dodged fraudulently hundreds of millions of dollars of taxes, New York Times impotently declares.

Helped DK write a letter to the Ombudsman about their refusal to treat his foot one day and the generally unsanitary conditions of the unit that increase the risk on his open diabetic wound. The same wound they refused to treat the other day because they perceived he was “being sarcastic” to him. Included references to the turd found in the shower and the lack of hot water in the sink.

Got a reply from Property that my TV would be worth $146.85 if sold new. I talked to C in SAU, who had expressed interest and gave him the form. It’s questionable whether he’ll have the money when it comes times.

Talked to mom and told her about the work release status. She was excited, as am I. She still wants to come visit for Thanksgiving. Told her that I wanted her to send my Columbia jacket and possibly CK-Be or CK-Summer. I would love her to send some homemade buns and maybe some cookies.

Thu, 4 Oct 2018 [371 + 359]

Every hour of every hour it seems like the same stories over and over and over and over again and yet they’re not exactly the same. It’s like a goddamn nightmare of stupidity. Like a 50s psychology experiment where they tape your eye lids open and you’re forced to watch stupid people having stupid conversations about stupid topics. And not just regular stupid people, but Nebraskans.

Drafted pardon question #20 last night. Will draft #36 today and do a second draft of both on Friday. Then try to get an appointment with the Legal Aid guy next week to take a look at my responses and make suggestions if he will.

Just got a reply from Allmendinger (SAU) about what my recommendation was. It was: (1) complete out-patient substance use treatment, (2) obtain and utilize a sponsor, (3) build a healthy support system, (4) attend two self-help support groups per week. I’m not having a sponsor unless it’s a hot guy.

Bought a “How to Learn Latin” CD on the MP3 player. Also, got some legal instruction content on various topics. Oh, yesterday the PHO book from my September book requests came in. Gone through the first two chapters already. The book is due Oct 29.

Got the receipt for the concentration camp by baking oven receipt from Ellinger. It is #2018-8177.

Fri, 5 Oct 2018 [372 + 358]

Skipped my job today Fuck this prison slavery and fuck Nebraska. Day 372 of this Hell on Earth.

Today I wanted to finish up the draft of the pardon application and then start on the paper for the next UNO class. First draft of questions #20 and #36 finished. Made a checklist of things to do going forward: ask JH to confirm my old PO address, ask B about TC address, and need to find out the name of the case manager from DEC. Also signed up for an appointment with Legal Aid.

Now on to the UNO class work and PHP reading for the day.

Ugh. Charrin, the despicable and retarded whore, is here tonight. At least she is well-behaved this night. Loaned D, the 20yo pedo roommate, some tokens to get a power of attorney form from the Legal Library.

Got a letter from PD and a form letter from the Parole Board confirming my hearing set for next September 2019. A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR. PLEASE LET ME DIE BEFORE A YEAR PASSES. I can’t take this another year.

Turns out A(C) did get put back out on this campus and the J3B unit/section in particular. It caused quite a stir because he began asking for the stuff the other roommates stoke from him and enlisted the case work in the effort. He asked me on Wed or Thu, whichever day he came back, if I knew who had his light bulb, a special one for hobbyists. I said I didn’t know, but I just didn’t care enough about him to risk my own life over his light bulb. Tonight I said “hey” to him while crossing in the bathroom and he just ignored me. Good.

Sat, 6 Oct 2018 [373 + 357]

Woke up horny as hell. Damn, I need to get out of this place.

Productive day of reading: two chapters of PHP. One chapter of Crime and Punishment, and the two readings from the UNO class.

Altercation in the room at 4pm count. D was asking some stupid questions and JH got pissed at him over some questions about snorting Ramen soup seasoning (Yes, I’m serious). JH told him to shut up, but he kept acting weird and grinning. JH jumped up like he was going to hit him but he didn’t. D pouted for a few minutes and then put his hat over his face and went to sleep. He refused dinner and church. He is super-immature. He should not be here in an adult prison for everyone’s safety. Nebraskans are immoral.

Went to lunch, err.. dinner because I was feeling hungry. Kind of a waste of time because the food was salt – in the form of chicken nuggets with rice with gravy. But this adorable guy sat at the table and looked my way twice. Wow, he was cute and looked sweet and pleasant.

Today is the end of my 53rd week in this hell-hole called Nebraska.

Sun, 7 Oct 2018 [374 + 356]

Need to write the UNO paper today. Damn it… this looks like a stupid one. I didn’t want to do it… but I must. Can’t quite. Don’t want to be in the same despicable category as a Nebraskan.

Roommates are doing K2 for the second day in a row. They’re even louder and noisier than usual.

Abbott walked into the room and was asking for/about A(C)’s stuff again. He wanted someone to say they knew where it was at. No one said anything and he said “of course not”. What a fucking Nebraskan…. he, who lies about writing people up, about putting in work orders for unhygienic showers (turds floating showers) and voluntarily works for an organization that lies about EVERYTHING (serving animal food to humans, rigging the HVAC to boil humans to discomfort, and at least one death, is judging some captives who took state clothes and some personal property from another captive (who they thought was going to be shipped out to another facility, as they typically are and wanted to derive benefit from it before a state employee stole it), was judging US?? Fuck that closeted-asshat and the pink unicorn he rode in on.

D(pedo) got quite an unpleasant lecture from LL over 4pm count. He spent 60% of the time grilling Frodo (D’s room-assigned name) about the details of his crime. According to LL, the yard rumor mill says his victim was an 8-yo niece and he tried to get her to suck his dick. At first D denied that the girl was-his-niece, but when LL said “yes, it was. I know it was”, D didn’t deny it and his demeanor gave away the truth of LL’s belligerent claims. LL went on threatening D’s life if he came hear his city (Norfolk) or any other SO. D just stopped talking finally and sank into his bed. He did say only “I did some stuff I’m not proud of”, but was quiet after that. It was unpleasant, but no violence and hopefully some good will come that he started understanding the gravity of the danger here for him and even to know that what he did was wrong through social condemnation (it’s not clear that he otherwise knew it was wrong).

What he did was certainly gross, but what society is doing here is even more gross. D is basically a retard (Sorry, readers… but that’s my early 70s language coming forward). He is intelligent, in the sense that he can solve match or logic puzzles, but he can’t grasp less deterministic paths. He has the maturity of someone about 10-15 years younger. He thinks he can absolve himself by being honest among these deplorables. I’m sure his type of people have existed for all of time, but they were handled as aberrations and handled with care (and sure, sometimes, violence by their families or tribes). But now that society only extreme legalism and zero common sense, they’re always treated with violence, to the detriment of their own healing and possible utility to society, and certainly there will be no healing on the part of the disrupted family. The lesson from modern American, especially Nebraskan, society is that “hate will find a way” and hate-as-a-first-resort soothes their desiccated souls.

I threw D a swiss roll after the room cleared for lunch and it was apparent he was going to stay in his bed pouting. It was not necessary for LL to go on for quite so long and to be quite so nasty. He lives in a glass house himself – drug dealer and domestic abuser (forgive my temporary judgment, dear reader), but I hate people who pile on an underdog. More so than any absolute offense.

More drama on A(C). He was still stirring up the officers to find his light bulb in our room. I am completely baffled by why they have spent so much time on this already. They don’t give a rat’s ass about an inmate’s light bulb… what in holy hell is going on? Is A(C) felating the Warden and particularly good at it? His new room (Room 12) is stealing all his stuff and making plans to force him to check into protective custody. There were lots of calls and threats to beat his ass. JH said that the Pisa gang, who has been half-heartedly protecting him, had issued the green light to punish him for “snitching” (on the theft of his own property!) and including cops in his attempts to get his belongings back. Crazytown!!! Complicated ethics, if any, and complicated politics, for sure. Apparently he’s due for a beating and getting checked into protective custody.

The unit and room is a God-damn oven. Complained to Ms. Abbott (gender-based verbal attack) and he said he would talk to the Lieutenant . Half-hour later it seemed to start cooling down. Not sure yeti f it is for real or if it’s my imagination. Could there be a humane person somewhere in Hellbraska? How would she/he have evolved to survive in such an environment? It boggles the mind.

Mon, 8 Oct 2018 [375 + 355]

JH was playing his TV crazy loud at 8am this morning so I just got up and ate breakfast. It was waffles and raisin bran and red koolaid (wtf?).

RP just disclosed that he nearly murdered someone at Tecumseh prison by stabbing him in the rectum. Apparently paramedics came out covered him with a black curtain and he thought he’d killed the guy. But the guy lived and RP “only lost some good time”. FUCKING GOD DAMN – he’s a sociopath and I’m sleeping next to him every night.

I didn’t get a pass for the UNO class last night. I still need to finish the paper just in case there is class anyway.

Tue, 9 Oct 2018 [376 + 354]

Last night another miserable 90 degree + oven in the room. Maintenance came in and did something after 4-5 days of torture (and one death, at least) and now it’s cooling down a little.

Met with the case manager about my reclassification to work release. It seems like the dumb whore was not prepared like she had committed to being. But we did do an evaluation of some type and she is going to do some other paperwork and said to come back at 8pm.

Talked to mom and dad. Insulation guy is done until the drywall is up. Drywall guy is to start soon and it’ll take about a week probably. They don’t think they’ll be moved by November.

Sent IIR out to refill [medication]. Also sent IIRs to Reentry; (1) to get start on the interstate compact, and (2) ask about medication while I’m on parole since these degenerates have wiped out my savings, damaged my professional employment opportunities, cancelled my health insurance, and …. The case manager suggested I contact them, but I suspect she was just tossing a ball over a fence because she knew no one cared or would do anything about my healthcare needs. Those don’t help them make money and that’s what this is about.

Douchebag Abbott refused us a trash bag. He’s a piece of shit.

Wed, 10 Oct 2018 [377 + 353]

Not much sleep last night. A guy in Room 1 started an argument with Nazi Gibson by refusing to stop walking this trash can to the bathroom with him. (LOL?) Then he refused to tell him his name so he could write him up. Gibson called three yard dogs to take out the anonymous degenerate inmate.

Then RP got an earplug stuck inside his ear and needed medical attention. (I couldn’t possibly make this shit up!!) DK was snoring like a freight train as usual. J was up blasting his spotlight at 4am. The loud-ass guard came in at 5am to wake D up to work in the kitchen. Waterboarding at 2pm!!

Hurricane 4 (Michael) headed for Florida panhandle. No global warming to see here folks!

Stupid bitch case manager has lied once again. She hasn’t fulfilled a single commitment since I have met her sorry ass. Just last night she committed to having this supposedly one-week process (now rounding out the third week now) done. Today she says “we do case management stuff on Tuesdays”. I said I would try to be more reasonable and forgiving, but maybe I’m just incapable of it. They disparage inmates constantly for failing to meet expectations and then here, in a CORRECTIONS facility, they race the inmates to the bottom – and win. They make me so exasperated I want to hang myself from the second tier. If there was a reliable rope. Another before I can get into queue to get out of this hell hole. No doubt my attempts to call out the criminal behavior of the state with regard to rotted food and + lack of bleach during the MRSA outbreak have weighed against me.

Thu, 11 Oct 2018 [378 + 352]

Freezing cold standing in line at the one open Canteen window – and the slowest, rudest new bitch to work in the canteen. OK, that is an exaggeration – she is exactly as rude and slow as bitch-Pat or bitch-Chris.

Had a legal aid appointment, but the lazy ass in there said to hire an outside lawyer. That was a waste of time – should have predicted that. Need to decide if it’s worth hiring an outside lawyer. In Nebraska even the defense attorneys that you pay big money for work for the prison industry.

I think I figured out why I keep getting screwed over by Nebraska. They hate liberals – and worst of all, a gay liberal that uses drugs and is an intellectual. It clicked when someone started putting out political ads saying that so-and-so (Kara Eastman?) and Nancy Pelosi hate Nebraska and consider it a “fly-over” state. When the case manager gave me their “Strong R” questionnaire, one of the questions was “what have you been doing with your time?” I answered “SAU, UNO class, learning philosophy, watching lots of CNN.” She interrupted with a snarl and “ugh.. that’s the Clinton News Network” and added “I’m a Fox girl”. I wanted to tell her how stupid that made her, but I was a the disadvantage that she can bring the overwhelming force of that state’s violence power onto me. I said something about “opinion vs. real news” and she came back with “CNN is opinion”. I agreed that CNN had too much opinion, but that Fox had even more and their opinions were evil. At the end of it, she said come back at 8pm and she’ll have it all entered in.

At 8pm, I came back and she showed me the paper that said “recommended to move to 4B work release at CCCO”. I signed it. She said we need to get Ellinger to sign it tomorrow. She said let’s do it at 10am and then she said “no, he as town hall at 10am. I’ll have to be mid-afternoon”.

On Wednesday, she never came around as she had committed to. I poked my head out the door when she was walking to her office (2pm-ish) to ask if we’re on for the signing and she said “honestly, no. we only do those on Tuesday”. Honestly – why would she bother being honest now??? Lying whore. So that means she knew she wasn’t being honest the night before and has no integrity. She has to desire to fulfill her task that was pushed into Wednesday in first place because she didn’t start on it as she had committed to on Tuesday. It makes more sense that she just decided to fuck me over because she is a looney Trump-supporting Republican and this was her opportunity to screw over a liberal.

Thinking I should file a retaliation claim about this situation. Going to go ahead and do the grievance on the no-hot-water in the bathroom issue that’s been going on since I’ve been here too. The degenerate care manager’s name I just found out is Schwisow.

Fri, 12 Oct 2018 [379 + 351]

Starting to accept the fucking over by the case manager for a third week in a row. If it doesn’t happen this week (16th) then I’m going to report her for discrimination to the Ombudsman. Only four days until Tuesday and I’ll be parked outside her office when she comes in.

Yesterday was the 32 scaramuccis-left mark. I forgot to mark that down in the journal. I want to cut back to only $50 of canteen for the next four weeks. I got down from $85 to $64 yesterday, but I think I can do a little better. Drinking less soda would certainly help.

More gang talk today at the 11am count. A refreshing change from several days in a row about pussy. I had my fill of that.

JH was watching COPS or one of those degenerate shows and some younger kid shot someone and that got them talking about how much time the kid would get: probably 10-15 and out in 7. Then they (JH, LL, and R) discussed out that was good strategy for “big homeys” to send “little homeys” to do the shootings; that is, because they get a lot less time for the same shootings.

There was a little gang chat last night too. After coming back from a visit/argument with his wife, he told her he would probably still need a gun to defend the family against young gang bang boys training to make a name for themself. Plus he might go right back to selling crack because “that’s what he knows”.

Fucking “fish” again today. Wish they’d stick that fish up their ass. In this trashy, redneck state, it’s more likely the same roadkill that gets variously labeled as fish, chicken, or pork depending on the hue and amount of decomposition.

The prison staff is a ‘who’s who” of the otherwise unemployable: the emotional unintelligent, the socially-disabled, the morbidly obese, and of course, the psychotic sadists. The socially disabled: Pat from Canteen, Charrlin, Sanders from J3C. The morbidly obese: Nelson from Laundry, Tuate, Sally, and other Other Guy from kitchen, Tina from Records. We have an escaped Nazi (Weiss) and self-described white supremacist McCluskey.

Roommate DR was just physically attaching by Officer Duffy at the 9pm count. DR was sleeping when they came in to count at about 910pm. DR had earphones on so he could sleep because he is forced by the concentration to work at the kitchen at 4am and our room is full of loud-mouths. Charrlin asked DR to show his face for count and he didn’t respond (because he was ASLEEP) and she didn’t say it very loud. Then sociopath Officer Duffy started spazzing out saying “I’m tired of these games and then using the side of the mattress as a proxy to punch him in the side (his fist was against the mattress and the mattress hit DR). DR then woke up. This guy needs some serious therapy. He went from zero to psycho in about 45-60 seconds over NOTHING. Charrlin had lightly tapped DR’s arm, then Duffy shook the metal part of the bed and yelled “I’m tired of playing games” and then Duffy punched DR, a sleeping 20 year-old. Duffy, a 60-something year-old piece of human garbage who can’t find a real job.

Going to submit this as a grievance tomorrow.

Sat, 13 Oct 2018 [380 + 350]

380 days done and 350 to go. Went to breakfast this morning. What a waste of time. There was only cold cereal and banana coffee cake – neither of which I can eat (allergic to banana). So breakfast was a watered-down mango juice and moldy, donated bagel. Nebraska degeneracy at its finest.

After lunch, I submitted an email to NDCS Contact about Duffy’s spastic and violent outburst last night. Then on Wesson’s suggestion, I also went to the lieutenant’s office and filled out a witness statement.

JH is telling C how much stuff he used to steal from a store that they both knew from their neighborhood. He’s saying it with pride and nostalgia. Gross. I hate this place. 30 minutes earlier JH and T were discussing one of their homey’s debts to someone on the yard (J). T said “he’s lucky I like him or I wouldn’t pay him back. He’d be beat [for the money]”, meaning J. SO paying back a debt is not connected at all in their mind to having given their word to pay it back, but only to whether there is any future utility in maintaining the relationship. That’s what a Nebraskan’s word means.

Sun, 14 Oct 2018 [381 + 349]

Interesting docu-clip on the Korean War’s Cho Sen battle – marines had to turn back against an onslaught of the Chinese, who had laid a trap in the Cho Sen valley for arrogant Douglas MacArthur.

Crime and Punishment is getting good – decided to up my daily reading allotment to two chapters per day. I’m almost finished with Smerconish’s Clowns to the Left.. A few articles I enjoyed or could see myself citing in future papers of my own. Yesterday I loaned Fear to ML upstairs since I was a week or so out on starting it.

It started snowing in Hell today.

Schwisow (Liar) was a no-show today. She was not here Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. Started a log of hours that she is available.

Was in a bland mood earlier today, but now feeling frustrated, anxious, and a bit angry at the usual set of things. Tired of this stupid ass room. Gang banging morons. I’m so tired of hearing that ignoration, hypocritical, childish garbage. “So and so disrespected my hood by doing such and such. Let’s all add six extra months to each of our sentences to resolve it”.

Yesterday I helped J from J3A in my UNO class work on his paper. I read it for him and provided feedback. Today just heard that he was taken to the old and they packed up his personal belongings, but no one knew what for.

Mon, 15 Oct 2018 [382 + 348]

Tossed and turned a lot last night. I think because I took too long a nap yesterday. One day until I get reclassified – hopefully – if that dumb cunt Trump supporter Schwisow bothers to show up for work.

That lazy bitch is here today!!! Wow. What’s the special occasion!?!?!?

The guy they called Porkchop, who is commonly held to be a “snitch” just came back to the unit with huge holes shaved into his head – all over – and his eyebrows are shaved off too. Someone’s name is shaved into the back of his head.

Saudi government admits to killing journalist Jama Kashoggi (WaPo journalist).

C and the old black guy that were also in queue for being reclassified said they were told today that Schwisow was told not to put them in for work release because the list was too long. I approached her to see if I was still on their sch3edule for Ellinger to sign my change tomorrow. She said she went ahead and put me in last week (even though she said last week I had to wait until Tuesday). She said my change had been sent to DRC in Lincoln and that step could take 3-6 weeks, but was usually much sooner. DRC is the step that yields a “bus pass”. I’m not sure if she’s just lying to me to get out of her face. I will ask her for details tomorrow.

LL is a total psycho. His wife didn’t answer the phone and now he’s screaming and hollering about how he’s going to leave her, beat her, cut her again, and comparing himself to someone looking at 20+ years for abusing his girlfriend. He’s ranting like a retarded child.

JH is giving a lecture to the room on how to get away with murder. He said if you shoot someone, grab their gun and shoot off a couple bullets from it or shoot a second gun you happen to have on you and put it in his hand and then call the cops and say it was self-defense while “I was buying wed from him” and then you’ll only get five years for felon in possession of a firearm. Good Lord. This is crazytown. He then said it is easy to get away with it if there’s no connection to the person you shoot. Specifically, he was talking about shooting random “Blood” gang members (as he is a “Crip” gang member).

I don’t know how successful I will be at not being angry when I leave here, but I still want it as a goal. I don’t want to be angry and bitter for the rest of my life. I think that will make for an unpleasant second half. I added some personal goals to my goal list: improve patient, be less envious, and less mean-spirited in disagreements with adversaries (constructive criticism only).

Tue, 16 Oct 2018 [383 + 347]

Just nothing in particular.

God damn. I hate this room. Noisy bastards. LL just made a loud pronouncement that he wants to kill his wife. JH just as free with his drug dealing and gang-banging strategies.

Felling better now. Went to Schwisow to do my case plan and at the end she told me that my request for work release had been approved for CCCO. So any day now I could wake up to a notice to pack up and head across the street. The case plan stuff was weird though. I guess they had to have three areas to work on and I only had one area that really needed attention: drug and alcohol use. They just randomly picked family and education. She said family got picked because I didn’t have any kids. I told her I was gay as Christmas at Elton John’s. Then she got weird with “It’s not too late…” Umm… that doesn’t change the applicable biology of the situation. Anyway, the only action that I really have is the same as I already planned for coming out of SAU: attend two SMART meetings per week.

Schwisow is apparently working on a Bachelor’s in Psychology. Well, that’s good for her. Perhaps some education will help her see the stupidity of Trumpism.

Wed, 17 Oct 2018 [384 + 346]

Still here at OCC.

More stupid conversations at both counts. JH has taken to regularly playing his TV at full blast in the room, no consideration to anyone sleeping or trying to watch something different on their own TV.

Two people on the yard were taken into custody for having K2 episodes. Good – less competition for work release. I hope that K2 makes its way to the work release facility and some people get kicked out.

Trying to read about Thomas Hobbes in between loud obnoxious conversations about drugs, gang killings, and misogynistic sex, usually led by JH and his motor mouth. If anyone’s picture should be shown next to “motor mouth” in the dictionary, it should be JH. His mouth moves at 1000 words/minutes, but 250 of them are variations of the n-word. Not unlike how Smurfs work the s-word into every sentence and any part of speech in their our discourse.

DK said four people came back from work release to OCC today. Good! Hope I get over there sooner than later. It’s funny how well they keep track of who comes from where, how many move from one institution to the other, etc. C’s from C came out of the hole today (from threatening the Canteen guy last week).

Thu, 18 Oct 2018 [385 + 345]

Canteen was out of more stuff on my list than they actually had. No cheese. No tortilla shells. No <10 other things>. Fuckers.

Need tow work on my UNO paper today. I’m not in the mood, but I’m sure once I get started I’ll have lots to say about the topic: communication technology.

Pat Robertson says “one man’s killing is not worth jeopardizing a $100bn arms deal”. Ha. Evangelicalism at its finest. [Regarding the killing of Jamal Khashoggi].

Charrlin here again tonight. Ugh.

Fri, 19 Oct 2018 [386 + 344]

McCluskey certainly has his favorites. Day room closes at 8am for cleaning unless you’re the white supremacist type. I had to wait to clean the phones until 817 while one of his pets – T – used the phone.

Two people left for work release today: PC and B. I don’t know the latter. They are showing the movie “The Equalizer II” today at 355pm. I think I will watch it.

The room is acting like a crazy mob on DR because he didn’t clean the room well. Then it turned into not washing his ass and brushing his teeth. Now it’s back to his charges. I don’t think this room will actually harm him though, but another room might. I’ll be scary news when this room changes over.

Might have to come up with thesis for the UNO paper #2. Facebook has made me a better communicator as a citizen despite its being a dangerous technology in need to regulation.

Wrote up the information for JG to help setup the network and stuff from mom.

Tried to call TH, but no answer.

Sat, 20 Oct 2018 [387 + 343]

55 weeks completed. Only 49 to go.

Sun, 21 Oct 2018 [388 + 342]

Mayor (LA) Garcetti says Trump surrounds himself (his administration is full of) “bullies, bunglers, and brown-nosers”. Ha. Spot on.

Ben Sasse on Jake Tapper hocking his book and 2020 presidential run. No Nebraskans!

JH and LL leave this week – thank God. Two of the most annoying people to have to share a room with. One because he leaves his damn TV on blast on the stupidest shows on the air and the other because he is so loud and stupid. The funniest thing is that the latter is stupid and he knows it and is proud of it. For the love of God, please!

The K2 addicts were complaining this morning that the guy with K2 was jerking them around. He kept telling them to come back in an hour and then again and again. Today they found out why. They’re waiting on a guy to shit it out – literally. HA.

Mon, 22 Oct 2018 [389 + 341]

Still at OCC. No “pack it up” yet. I did get a pass for the dentist at 115pm and no pass for class at 530pm. Need to finish my paper today. Not sure about the dentist appt. JH’s infection and subsequent pain for 5 days has me apprehensive about having them do anything. I think they’re replacing the carpet in the dayroom. They need to spend their money fixing the plumbing in this shithole.

*31 scaramuccis remaining*

They tore out the carpet from the dayroom area. Wonder how many months before they replace it. Rumor-mill says they’re putting cameras in the bathrooms too. It wouldn’t surprise me. Nebraska is full of perverts and rapists – especially among the prison staff (Dermody). Why not watch us on cameras too.

Got quite a bit of content written for paper #2. Not sure if I have class or not though. Asked Wesson and then Abbott to check and see if/why we didn’t get passes for the class tonight. Went to class and finished typing up paper #2. I think it meanders a bit where I pasted new content in between stuff from Saturday. Showed the instructor the TIME article about the American Dream and zip codes. He seemed interested and scanned it and wrote down the date and article name.

Tried calling TH but there was no answer. Will try to call him again tomorrow.

Tue, 23 Oct 2018 [390 + 340]

Had an idea for work release. I wonder if they would let me work or volunteer at the Orpheum Theater? I’m going to try anyway. Also going to check on taking that computing class

Just read The New Jim Crow for the UNO class. Interesting article – I may try to order the full book. Also saw another interesting book in the end notes that I may ask mom to order for me: The Politics of Injustice: Crime and Punishment in America (Beckett and Sasson). Need to ask Barb if she can find the Nixon/Erlichman memo.

I’m so tired of JH’s and LL’s motor mouths. They talk as much in an hour as anyone else in the room talks in a whole week. And their conversations are always about either pussy, drugs, and gang politics or economics. They talk a hundred miles and hour because they’re afraid of losing the speaking floor to someone else. They overtalk anyone else who dares to try and inject their own content in the “conversation”. They don’t care who is trying to watch TV, read, or sleep. Their motor-mouths just don’t stop – ever. Hopefully they’ll be gone tomorrow.

Wed, 24 Oct 2018 [391 + 339]

Got up early for breakfast, the only decent meal they have here: fried eggs, bacon, and toast. Couldn’t sleep because of R’s goddamn TV as shining and making noise all night.

You get better results on rule-breaking here with Abbott if you’re a cute 20yo. He told me it is not allowed to have a small trash back, but was OK breaking the rules for cute Tyson from another wing use our microwave.

No one left for SAU today. No word about my leaving yet. I have been so frustrated and irritable all day. These noise fuckers and inconsiderate as all get out. Their stupid ass friends come in and yell into the room and leave the door open. I’m worried what kind of hateful person I’ll be when I leave here.

Bombs sent to the home of the Obamas, the Clintons, John Brennan c/o CNN, Eric Holder, Debbie Wasserman-Schulz. Some crazy Trump supporter, no doubt. Give him the death penalty – I’m sure Trump supporters and GOP are all OK with this.

JH just admitted int he room that he robbed a King Kong stores with the help of one of his “home girls” named Doris. He said they arranged it together and she agreed to take a gun-butt to the head to make it look right. He was telling the story to DK, but he said it in normal hearing range of DR (reading a comic) and me. Does every Nebraskan have it within them to lie, cheat, and steal? They’re all degenerates. Something in the corn or the water, perhaps.

Someone in the goddamn room needs to wash his ass. I find myself irritated about every little thing that happens while waiting for the work release transfer, but that shit smell would be too much even in the best of moods.

Thu, 25 Oct 2018 [392 + 338]

LL left earlier this morning – thank God. The room is quieter already. C also moved to SAU. No work yet on JH or R’s move and he didn’t say anything about my move either. 12 days left to my projected move date. Another day with nothing going on and nothing to do.

Hurricane Wilma hit Mexico on the Pacific side yesterday (or two days ago). A tropical storm that is equivalent to a Category 5 hurricane is expected to hit US territories/Northern Mariana Islands. It’s the strongest storm to ever hit a US territory.

JH becoming more angry and abusive – I think he is frustrated that he didn’t get moved to SAU today. He just threated to extort money from some guy in our unit. I didn’t follow the whole conversation from the beginning, but I think they were talking about B. On hour earlier DR announced that someone had stolen his 12 tokens. I’d bet money that it was JH based on prior experience, his own constant disclosure of amorality toward stealing from people out on the streets and in prison, and his immediate telling of a story about someone else coming into the room and doing this theft job. I get along with him and he’s very personable most of the time, but he has zero morals and no concern/empathy for others and I suspect he would turn on me in a second if he didn’t find me useful in some ways (or perhaps he’s just intimidated by actual intelligence and/or he knows I will use the Captors’ processes to my advantage if needed).

We just got an adorable new roommate – a Mexican kind name H, nicknamed Ch. It would seem that he’s straight as he immediately showed me pictures of his girlfriend and a baby. But then I caught him looking at me a little too long. Wishful thinking or a stare of dis-attraction? Ha. All I know is that I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating crackers. Yum.

Fri, 26 Oct 2018 [393 + 337]

10th and 11th bombs found. This might be the new version of the Reichstag fire, for the Trump Era. I’m sure he’s trying to usher in a Fourth Reich. Little does he know it’s already begun here in Nebraska.

No paper work for work release today. 🙁 I’m hoping for next week at the first of the month.

New guy came after 11am count to the take bunk vacated by CS. He’s Hispanic/Latino. Apparently his mom knows RP’ from a past life. He had some anti-gay stuff to say initially, but later qualified it to mean he didn’t care for “gay for the stay” behaviors and it practitioners. I think that qualification was added for my benefit, likely at the prodding of one of the other roommates. That was classy, I guess.

Ch is so dreamy. I think he’s putting on a show for me. Maybe my imagination or more wishful thinking. He bought some long-johns on the yard earlier today and put them on. It was a great view. He pointed out again the pictures of his wife and daughter, so I guess he caught me staring. He also told JH that he had three children in total in three different cities. So he’s a man-ho.. I love it. Mmmm.

Sat, 27 Oct 2018 [394 + 336]

56 weeks completed. 48 weeks to go.

Synagogue attacked by gunmen. 12 shot and 4 dead. Start the the clock – 48 hours and we’ll see another crazy Trump supporter following out Adolf’s instructions.

Long list of things to do today. Finished section 3 of Crime and Punishment this morning. Want to get some of the Kant section of 12 Great Philosophers started. Finished Hume yesterday. I like Hume’s empiricism and his thoughts on society and religion, but I thought his morality philosophy was weak (too relativistic and too tried to emotion). Also want to get my response for the UNO class completed and write the ACLU letter for J/PF.

I hope this coming week is one that finds me moving to work release. This place is driving me crazy, especially since I got the “bus ticket”.

Finished a letter to the ACLU for PF/J from the Asatru religion about their reduced space. It was pretty good if I do say so myself. But a waste of time. Even though it was announced in the paper that they were building something new for some kind of dog & pony show project of the Warden’s, they are claiming they’re reducing the space for a “security issue” because they know that will shut down any principled discourse about the issue. The warden can get away with any atrocity by simply uttering or writing those words. Around here, the only people who lie more than the inmates are the staff and administration.

Sun, 28 Oct 2018 [395 + 335]

Start of the 57th week of captivity.

Jake Tapper ended his SOTU show with a clip of Mr. Rodgers (because the synagogue shooting occurred in his actual neighborhood, Squirrel Hill) saying when was a kid and there was bad stuff going on in the news, his mother would say “look for the helpers whenever something bad happens; there are always people helping”. Then one could feel good about humanity again. Seems like a nice sentiment, but humanity is really too terrible to survive. There might be those 0.000001% percent of people give humanity a good name – who help and give unconditionally, but they just don’t make it worth the 99.99999% who are terrible, hateful, self-serving people who have no problem torturing, raping, and caging other humans for their own financial and political benefit. Humans are a plague upon the Earth.

Tom Friedman: “we’re living in an age of moral arousal”. This is good except when people shut off our rationality to govern the arousal (that’s my conclusion – he says “moral outrage” when I said rationality). He says it’s “Trump’s business model to be divisive”. He reminded me of how great it was that President Obama was for inviting two people who had a fight in public (a cop and a Black college president) over to the WH for a beer.

The new roommate’s name is Ri. He’s not as bad as I thought at first.

Tried out the “Learn Spanish” album that I bought on the MP4 player, but I think it is supposed to accompany a book because nothing is adequately explained on the MP4 alone to facilitate learning. The Latin one has been better so I started on lesson #1.

The room is getting more obnoxious, I think. They continue to harangue DR, but right after the room semi-cleared out for lunch, they (DK, HJ, RP), made plans to also harass J because he’s becoming “too big for his britches”. It is true that J tries to pick on DR too as a way of ingratiating himself to the opinion leaders/violence purveyors in the room. Twice they (RP, DK) threatened DR if they ever encounter him on the street because of his conviction. It is just beyond bizarre how casually and unprovoked they announce it.

JH becomes more appalling to me each and every day. He is controlling and manipulative and verbally abusive to his wife; he speaks of stealing and acts of violence as if they are wrong for everyone else, but OK for him.

Saw part of “Native America: From Caves to Cosmos” on NET. I like the information – need to try and find the whole video if I ever get out of this horrible place.

DK is going on and on about beating the shit out of and killing people he dislikes. I think that a lot of time is spent threatening violence and death to people who don’t conform to their wishes, sometimes in advance of them issuing their edict. JH and RP are like that to some extent too.

Mon, 29 Oct 2018 [396 + 334]

Ri kept the light on until 1130 last night. People making noise early in the morning. Got up for waffles at 6:20. Should have just slept in.

Finished my response #6 last night. It is pretty good, I think, but I couldn’t include much of the stuff that I wanted to. I did get the Nixon/Ehrlichman interview in though. I hope I am not still here to see his response/my score.

Racist kills two black people in Kroger parking lot in Jeffersontown, KY. Thanks Donald Dumpster-Fire.

Feeling frustrated and exhausted even though I took a long nap. Got a pass for spring UNO classes but I’m not going since I’ll probably be moved to work release before then. Chances are I’ll be moved too late to sign up at CCCO. I finished my Comp class response and was pretty happy with it, but not so excited now. In fact, just don’t care about it and don’t even want to go to class tonight. Feeling anhedonic, but not so much as last spring.

Fuck Nebraska.

English Composition class was good. Got a 50/50 on Response #5. I also got four copies of my paper #2 draft that had been reviewed by his regular students. That tells me that he must have been really wanting to share my paper to have so many copies out for review! Who said a little flattery can’t improve the mood?

Tue, 30 Oct 2018 [397 + 333]

Early morning fight among the troglodytes (the inmate ones). Two of them were packed up. The rumor mill says it was a dispute over being poked while asleep because of loud snoring. One of them took the “pro” position and one of them took the “con” position. Ha.

Ted Lieu calls for House Judiciary Committee hearing over hate crimes and gun violence, but Republicans are unlikely to do so.

More room abuse of DR, who is so dumb he seems to like the attention and pays no attention to the threats of death. The controlled-deviants say each time they’re going to include J (another sex offender) since he frequently joins in the abuse of DR, but that never materializes. I think because DR invites the discussion onto himself by saying stupid things and interjecting their their game/organized crime discussions.

AR in the next room got his checkout sheet today, so he’s going to CCCL tomorrow. He said that he got his bus pass on Oct 2. I got mine on Oct 20, so if that it any measure of the wait, I’ll be here until November 17th. Please God, not that long.

RP and JH and DK call J “Reverend Do-Wrong” or “Reverend Bad Touch” and one other related thing. Can’t lie… that’s pretty funny.

Wed, 31 Oct 2018 [398 + 332]

Halloween. Fuck Nebraska and Susan, the Whore, Fraud of Justice.

Got called to the dentist office at like 10:15. Got my teeth cleaned. Feel so much cleaner. Dentist found two cavities – one the big ugly black took and the other one I’m not sure of. Stayed of 11am count.

JH is a huge drama queen. Maybe gangs in general are big drama clubs – not enough data to say for sure. But JH at least has some gang drama hissy fit every single day. Today it’s about his homey, H, not really begin “from the hood” and their local gang leader C being a chimo. He and T punched H in the area near the water fountain. Yesterday it was about T being a big baby. The day before it was something else.

Goddamn, I need out of here!