Prison Journal: June 2018

[Editor’s Note: I asked the author to search a couple photo sites to find a close representation of the state of rot that the lettuce served on June 18th. He said he could not find one quite like it. The lettuce he described had a wet sheen from being slimy and there were small amounts of brown liquid pooling underneath the lettuce onto the plate.]

Fri, 1 Jun 2018 [246 + 484]

Woke up in a good mood. Yeah, that’s why. 🙂 Relapse class was OK. Just matched a movie about triggers and urges and turned in own relapse plans.

CT is so yummy. I should tell him back that I want him. As soon as we’re alone in the room.

Sat, 2 Jun 2018 [247 + 483]

CT saw a spider in his locker. Hope there is not a nest. Told UCW Wesson that we had a mutant spider, so we might need some action on it.

Someone stole a bunch of tokens from my locker while I was walking on the track yesterday. CT was acting weird about it too, I thought. My fault – I need to remember to keep my locker locked and forget about stupid shit and just focus on reading and getting out of here.

Sun, 3 Jun 2018 [248 + 482]

Woke up in the middle of the night and the whole room smelled like a sewer. Couldn’t go back to sleep for quite a while.

Woke up again in a bad mood. I think it’s because it feels now like the whole “want you” thing was some kind of play. I’m not sure if that’s why but definitely in a bad mood this morning.

Wrote to JH, TF, JH, B, and mom yesterday. Wrote mom to say that I talked to DP yesterday and he had confirmed that JG would do the computer things and Google Voice setup. Wrote B to say “Happy Birthday, Old Lady”. She replied back a few times with the usual birthday-related banter.

Going to try and get some reading done today. Dumpster Fire Trump has corrupted the whole US political system and 38% of voters. It’s like 1920s Italy. A buffoon of a person becomes becomes the leader and marches gaily toward incompetence and grift.

Talked to dad. HE said they got about 2/3 of the way through the rafters and OJ is going to help him all week as he quit his job. That’s probably good so Dad isn’t working by himself while mom travels this week.

Been very crabby all day. I ate some rice and beans and sausage from my locker. It’s so disgusting. I feel awful – mind and body. The track was closed so I walked around the center of the campus a few times and took a shower.

Mon, 4 Jun 2018 [249 + 481]

Bland large group today. Allmendinger was there instead of Fallin. Short discussion about NDCS’s new porn rule (can’t have it anymore) and the stupidity and miserableness of the rule. Also learned that some room got written up for having mold on their desk.

Have an MCC class at 1:15pm. Not sure what the class is yet. … The class was employment readiness. The instructor was friendly and down-to-earth. She is a two-time felon and a long list of misdemeanors, she said. I think she will be helpful for what I’m looking for: knowing how to apply for jobs after I leave this concentration camp and hopefully on work release as well.

Fairgood was at our CAT II class – she’s a bit of a bitch, too, it seems. The room/unit rumor-mill says that she had a child with an inmate – a violation of rules, professional ethics, and is basically rape, since the inmate is disallowed from giving consent (ha). Then here she is lecturing on the importance of following all the rules, big and small. In every content, there are people who are required to follow the rules, big and small. In prison, the inmates are required and punished over the pettiest of rules, but the guards and staff do not (sanitation rules are regularly discarded; guards don’t pay for their lunches in the kitchen; the morbidly obese kitchen lady (Sally) eats food right over the serving trays so the spill from her shoveling food into her gaping maw falls back into the serving trays; the list goes on and on). Outside of prison, poor people, black people, liberals are charged with crimes for private recreational drug use, while the wealthy attorney general buys murder drugs illegally and it’s not a problem. Nationally, the same rule that gave Martha Steward 10% of a punishment is practiced freely by politicians.

I want to talk to CT again, but we haven’t been alone since the other day.

Cows produce up to 600L of methane per year – as much as an automobile! They have some Archaea called methanogens, that produce it in their stomach.

Walked for about 45 minutes.

Tue, 5 Jun 2018 [250 + 480]

25 scaramuccis down, 48 to go.

Getting sick apparently and/or maybe. Started feeling shitty yesterday afternoon – cough, sore throat (back of throat), back of nasal area, etc. Took some Vitamin C last night and went to bed really early. Tried to sleep in but AR (who is having same symptoms) was up early cleaning with heavy bleach and making a lot of noise. Took some more of CT’s Vitamin C.

“Nebraska: Come on vacation; Leave on Probation”

Relapse class was uneventful. Bless was there, but she kept her stupid hold closed, to her credit.

Had monthly meeting with UCM Carroll. The only topic I had was to ask about receiving my HSA check here and sending it back to mom. She said I could send it out with an inmate check.

Had 1:1 with Allmendinger. Talked about how to deal with bad things on on in the room. Talked about recovery programs after prison (AA/NA vs. SMART) and the “Sober for Good” book by Anne Fletcher. Also talked about what I did at [employer] and [employer] and how I might have to get a temporary job on parole.

Signed someone’s petition about room changes being disallowed. Almost (accidentally) stole their pen.

CT had several wisdom teeth pulled. He’s so beautiful and funny.

Trump holds a “Celebrating of America” event at the WH. I’m pretty sure that’s in the Fascism playbook. Ach Tung!

Wed, 6 Jun 2018 [251 + 479]

Ate the shitty breakfast at 7am because I couldn’t sleep (noisy, freezing room) and as per usual, it sucked. Wednesdays are supposed to be B-E-C sandwich, but there was only E(gg). No lactose-free milk for cereal and I forgot to grab a cup for the only good thing in the kitchen – the juice machine.

Community meeting quiet and stupid. The dumbest bitch in Omaha, and our own resident crack whore, was not there today.

Got an email from KP saying she’d been busy at work, but wanted to say hi.

Thu, 7 Jun 2018 [252 + 478]

Another day. Fuck Susan Strong – a pox on her evil, rotten soul and may her body and mind decompose while she’s still alive.

Had to go to Programs at 905 to sign the SSN request form. They also needed a copy of my Nebraska ID.

CAT II class was a waste of time, as intended. Watched a movie that seemed to be identical to almost all the others that we’ve watched, but with a different face pasted into the video stream.

Large group was also the usual stupid. Allmendinger was there in lieu of the vacationing Masturbator Fallin. P announced that he would no longer be group representative because he has an MCC class at that time. They tried to nominate me but I resisted lightly. Graham said hew as going to talk to Fallin when he returned and see what they came up with.

Joke about the power of prayer: Man walks through the plains and encounters a price of lions. Assuming he is about to be eat he prays, “Lord, please give these lions some Christianity”. The lions, seeing that lunch has walked up to them start a prayer: “Lord, thank you for this meal you have laid before us.”

They brought some unhygienic dogs onto the unit to search room 10 and then dumped out the trash cans and left the trash laying on the floor. Charrlin, new guy, McKon.

Fri, 8 Jun 2018 [253 + 477]

Anthony Bourdain (1956 – 2018)

Watched a movie in Relapse class – the one guy who tells addiction jobs – Lindholm or something like that. It was OK, but 80% of these movies are exactly the same with a different face and mouth moving. Only 10 classroom days left of this phase.

Turned in the second set of items on the third treatment plan yesterday evening. Should get the final setup of items for this plan on Jun 12th. Sounds like there will be a fourth plan, at least.

Sat, 8 Jun 2018 [254 + 476]

Woke up to G, JH, and the guy with the orange shirts (who shouldn’t be in our room) talking gang stuff out the window. Apparently by AR and BP agreed. AR confronted him (G) directly and BP bitched about it after they all left the room.

Watching documentary “Great Civilizations of Africa” with Dr. Gates. Axum, Meroc, Nubia, Egypt, Berber, Lalibella (sculptured churches). Queen of Sheeba (Yeha) – Solomon began Menolich (?) -> Aximite Dynasty legend. Ethiopia. Christian in 350AD. 700-year dynasty. Henry Lewis Gates – support@worldchannel.org

Seems most of the room dislikes G as much as I do.

[Redacted: a serious medical issue of a roommate that the “medical” staff here refused to help with because it results from an activity that’s prohibited here and so shouldn’t be a problem]. Any legitimate medical licensing authority would never give these people a license to practice nursing or medicine. I guess that tells us what we need to know about Nebraska.

Sun, 10 Jun 2018 [255 + 475]

One-third of the way through June already. Good! Woke up around 630am to the sound of G getting drug-tested – arguing with the cop about getting his jacket. Hope he fails.

Excited about episode 2 of FX’s Pose tonight. Updated my resume for the MCC class.

CNN coined “news fatigue” – what that’s exactly what I’ve felt like lately. They’re right though – this is the worst time to have it since Fat Donnie is making such a mess at an unprecedented pace. Trump administration begins (or continues) assault on the free press by tapping a phone of a reporter and seizing years of data.

“I worry more about people thinking like machines than about machines thinking like humans.” – Tim Cook on CNN interview.

Mon, 11 Jun 2018 [256 + 474]

Large group – boring, get stuck with the group representative role. Have to go to council meeting every Wednesday at 8am.

Apparently, hottie T was caught doing K2 int he bathroom last night and confessed to it. I don’t think he was liekly to last anyway, It was probably good to fail early.

CAT II sucked as usual. Ownership stance and some dumbass diagram with cogs… so many half-baked metaphors about machines, mechanics, and gears. I lost 12 IQ points by attending class today.

Lockdown at 9:45am because of severe weather. They did a count at 10am and we’re still stuck here at 11:15am and no let-up on the horizon. They didn’t even take the kitchen workers yet, so probably lunch will be late too. Dogshit (“Salisbury”) Steak anyway.

Talked to SP about his being denied medical treatment by the prison “doctor”. They said he’d received one 7 years ago and implied he wasn’t “eligible” for another one. I told him he should insist on the test and I could help him write something to prod them along on their troubled path toward professionalism. Ridiculous!

Had another lockdown in the middle of count lockdown because of several weather – so we’re in some kind of weird lockdown stacked another lockdown. It seems that there are a bunch of tornadoes in Omaha area. I hope they take out the whole God-damned shithole state full of only degenerates, liars, crooks, thieves – and then you have the ones inside the prison.

While out for pill call, CT found a frog and put it in SP’s pillow. They thought it was hilarious. He didn’t notice until they pretty much were laughing their ass off pointing at his pillow. After that they let the frog go out the door. Then they went out and got it again and tied a note to it saying “Fuck you, bitch” for the female guard to see and open, which she did. Like Queen Victoria, I was not amused.

Tue, 12 Jun 2018 [257 + 473]

Another day in Hell, Nebraska. Room inspections at 8:30am. Fuck Nebraska.

Relapse I was kind of good today. Met in C-wing watch and watched a short video about relapse, by Hazelton (I think) and then an “uncomfortable” discussion about alternative recovery programs and even splinter groups with a program (meth-only NA groups, women-/men-only AA or NA groups, etc). I asked why that conversation should be uncomfortable. No answer was given, but it was good discussion anyway.

Finished the “Sober for Good” book in a rapid-read fashion. It was a good book in that it exposed as false a lot of state-disseminated propaganda about relapse and recovery (also, pop-culture reinforced). Moderation has been an option for many who self-identified with alcohol problems (no mention of drugs in the book). In fact most people who self-identify with an alcohol problem, solve the problem themselves with moderation and some even solve it themself by abstinence. That path rarely gets any press.

Wed, 13 Jun 2018 [258 + 472]

Woke up early. Made the mistake of going to the kitchen for breakfast. Thought it might be worth going because it was supposed to be egg-cheese toast day and they always have one decent thing – juice. But no, no fucking juice and no toast and as usual no fucking lactose-free milk. There was an egg-cheese-cardboard sandwich, no juice, and dry cereal with no milk. There was an apple that wasn’t – yes, you heard it right – WAS NOT rotten.

Resident Council was total waste of time. We discussed a few things at 8am (only 3 room inspections/week instead of 5; allow stuff on the top of lockers; bolting beds to the wall, and provide inmates with the medicines that they need). At community meeting, Ellinger gave a response to the first three in rapid-fire: No, No, No. The last one – about providing necessary medicines – was a slower No. In RC, we discussed writing a letter to the ACLU.

SP got into a minor argument with the Gestapo guard Pat (the canteen guy). Really it was just SP being a pain in the ass about what he wanted to have run up out of the $50 of shit he ordered with the $12 that he had. Pat was making selections for him as SP wasn’t communicating what he wanted until after Pat already rung some items up. Finally Pat told SP, “no that’s it – I’m done with you.” It was pretty funny – the dumbest guy in the unit (maybe not really) vs the laziest and most curmudgeonly guy on the staff. I was rolling.

Tried to take two of the special order books back to the library, but it was closed. Lazy bastards. Oh – got books from mom last night. The 2018 Almanac, What’s the Matter with Kansas? and Unspeakable. Clown the Left of Me, Jokers to the Right is on order for delivery between July 2 and July 30.

Rot in Hell, Susan Strong. Fucking evil, hateful snatch. This state is pure evil from border to border. This is the 10th Circle that Dante didn’t know about.

Wes Craven’s “My Soul to Take” – some hot eye candy. Check it out.

American diplomat: “Kim Jung Un lifted Trump’s watch, wallet, and keys” HAHA

Thu, 14 Jun 2018 [259 + 471]

Another miserable Nebraskan day.

Nebraskan. adj. 1. a combination of hypocrisy and miserableness, as of behavior. Example: “It was very Nebraskan of Susan Strong to snark a comment about justice as she delivered and unjust punishment for a private consensual behavior that is unjustly criminalized”.

Book title/thesis ideas: That’s Very Nebraskan Of You, Pit Stop: Nebraska; Journey through Nebraska; The Tenth Circle: Nebraska. Sub-titles: “A Memoir of Addiction and Captivity in the Prison State”.

Trump family – Fat Donnie and his adult children being civilly sued by the state of New York for using charity money for their own for-profit businesses and their political campaigns. Yahoo!

Inspector-General report on FBI/DOJ’s handling of the Clinton email case is due out today.

Trump also caught saluting a North Korean military general by N.K. press since he did it when US press was not present. What a dumpster fire – him and our country.

Inspector General report says Strok and Page were “a cloud” over the integrity of the FBI even though there was no bias to the investigation. Comey’s behavior was not politically biased; it was a departure from FBI/DOJ rules and norms to release info on a candidate on his own.

Giving Cloak and Dagger one more change.

Want to see Love Simon and Call Me By Your Name. The former was just advertised on DVD by Disney.

Returned two of the loaned library books: “Sober for Good” and “Theories of Justice”. The usual guy was gone. Left them with the inmate regular book checker-in – it was around 1402. For some reason I feel like I should have kept them and turned them in when the regular guy was back. Ofc Stone was in the librarian’s office.

Submitted order for books from Edward Hamilton Booksellers, CSI, and Keefe.

Michael ?, Trumps’ biographer: “Anything sleezy, Trump will find a way to do it. He is the master of self-dealing”.

Fri, 15 Jun 2018 [260 + 470]

Drug swab at 0615. This time the mouth swab worked for me – no rape by the rapist-guard. Again, JF and CT’s didn’t work, so they got the full Nebraska-treatment. I kept spitting onto the sensor – I’m sure there was some snot and immune system products on it.

26 scaramuccis down, 47 to go. I am “scheduled” for a doctor to look at the weird nodules under my armpit.

Report out today says you need to make at least $22/hr to afford a 2-bedroom apartment. The minimum wage is $7.25/hr.

Watching Ancient Aliens. It’s captivating, if nothing else.

Got the fourth book that I had requested in early June: C/C++ for Embedded Systems. The guy suggested that it might not be possible to get an extension on the abstractions book, so need to move forward with that ASAP.

Went to the get my medicine at 18:45. Watching the bi-monthly movie. This time it’s Black Panther.

Sat, 16 Jun 2018 [261 + 469]

Manafort moved to the VIP section of Virginia jail. Must be nice to be able to afford platinum justice.

More title ideas: Petty State: Nebraska or State of Injustice: Nebraska or What’s the Matter with Nebraska?

Sun, 17 Jun 2018 [262 + 468]

Liver and onions for lunch – fucking Nebraskans. forgot to mention about the dismal food hygiene this week: 2 to 3 days of rotten lettuce for salad. It was the same lettuce three days in a row that got progressively more rotten until on the third day it more resembled a brown broth with slimy green chunks. They should have used a souple ladle instead of salad tongs: it would have passed easier as a chunky soup than a salad.

More drug business going on in the room. G and JH seem to be selling it, if they are to be taken at their own word. Last night the whole room was in a hot and bothered state as they discussed drug use and sales. Even BP, who claims he is here for alcohol, was talking about doing coke. I think JF was asleep actually. I was trying to read the Embedded C book. G is such a degenerate. He was talking about starting an underage, underground bar to capitalize on underage alcohol dollars. WTF!?!? He was questioning why no one had thought of that before.

Unit rumor says Captain Strode has been spreading rumors that this program will be changing to 90 days. Probably part of their disinformation campaign, a.k.a. lying.

Germans say in speech that they no longer have confidence that US is a partner for Western values. HAHA. They’re way behind on that realization.

The guys who went to dinner said they served undercooked chicken. The chicken was raw – even had blood-juice when you cut into it (JH). They told Foster but he said it was OK. JH says he’s feeling sick now. Glad I skipped dinner.

I’m really loving Pose. Looks like CT is watching it on SP’s TV too. He’s definitely an enigma. I can’t tell if he’s interested or trying to play me for some kind of game.

Mon, 18 Jun 2018 [263 + 467]

Large group pretty boring today. Three people graduating. Good riddance. That one tall kid is soooo dumb. It’s not even funny.

Wrote another IIR to medical about the tumor under my armpit.

Tue, 19 Jun 2018 [264 + 466]

Raining like a mofo here this morning – bad enough that they closed the campus. Got a 930 pass to medical.

Nurse acknowledged the nodule, but couldn’t say what it was or is. She said she would have a doctor look at it next week. [Redactions]

Went over relapse prevention plans in Relapse class. Left half-way through for the medical appointment.

Lunch was a chef salad, but the lettuce was the same rotten, slimy lettuce that they have been trying to offload for a week now. Porker Touty was the food service manager who was supervising the slime salad distribution. The server just shrugged and mouthed “sorry” when I gave a look of despair and anger over the slime soup salad (today it was the main meal – not a side item). I wrote an information grievance and mentioned all the unhygienic food of the last two weeks: (1) the roadkill (undisclosed animal liver/tissue, (2) the uncooked chicken from Sunday that JH even reported to Porkier FSM Foster, who just shrugged, (3) the rotten slimy salad from the whole last week, and (4) the slimy, rotten lettuce from today. I told them I mistook it for brown soup and gave a hint that iceberg lettuce is supposed to be green. Turned it into UCM Carroll (under her door – she wasn’t here today).

Sociopath roommate G talked more at 11am count about his plot to get “bitches” hooked on his drugs so he could do whatever to them. He said he would give them stuff really strong – “might even kill them”. OMG. He’s Nebraska native – so that makes sense. Even their love and sex has strong elements of violence and control.

Turned in the Algorithms book to the library at 12:32pm. I actually passed by the black guy that runs the loan desk and he said the library was closed, but that he would take it. I also asked if they had a date for the return of the Embedded C book yet and he said yes, he thought it was July 4th or something like that.

Wed, 20 Jun 2018 [265 + 465]

Went to breakfast because I heard there were good breakfast taquitos. They were just OK, but there was no juice again. There was a rotten banana offered and Sog Flakes – OK and some miscellaneous grease sponge. I’m not sure what it was intended to be.

Raining again. Supposed to get good doughnuts this morning at 8-9am for being write-up free for 90 days from the SAU staff, but might be cancelled because Nebraskan bakers apparently don’t work when it rains. That was their excuse for not keeping their word: “No doughnuts because of the rain”. Well, we did get some two-day old cake. That’s the value of a Nebraskan’s commitment/word.

The June class graduated today, including JF from our room.

The asshole from the canteen, Pat, would not accept my book order. Why? He is too fat and lazy to walk the paper back to the Canteen Manager’s (Chris) office. He said to come back Friday when Chris was there. This is, of course, a repeatedly-used tactic. They say “come back later” and then when you come back later, they refuse you entry because it’s not your canteen day. They did the same thing to JF last week. He went to canteen at the regular time and Pat told him the money hadn’t posted fully yet and to come back right before 10am. JF went back at 945 and Pat had closed early. JF came back and had the unit staff call and they said “come back after lunch with the next unit’s group”. He did that and Pat told him “go away. this is not your canteen time”. I’m baffled as to whether there is some over-arching strategy with that kind of disturbing behavior or just the normal behavior of people among themselves in Nebraska.

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 [266 + 464]

Large group was decent – just talked about some trite ethical dilemmas.

Texas sheriff or deputy caught molesting children and threatening them with deportation action if they came forward. Those are some Texas values. [Editor’s Note: Bexar County (TX) Deputy Jose Nunez]

First lady visiting Texas immigrant internment camps.

Some more book title ideas: Nanny State Nebraska: A Memoir of Addiction and Red-State Justice. Uhh … not nearly snarky enough. Maybe sub-title: Addiction, Hypocrisy, and Red-State Justice or Addiction, Hypocrisy and the Facade of Justice.

BP just told the story of some guy was selling $50 bottles of water with the feature that the water tastes like hot dogs. Ummm…. gross. SP said “I would just steal some since he’s trying to charge so much. That’s some Nebraskan morality and sense there.

SP was just beaten bloody by JF in the room. It had the look for their usual horseplay/battered spouse act until blood spurted out on the hanger or strap that JF was beating him with. Then five minutes later SP was laughing and joking with him again. I feel like I should have intervened, but I’m sure I would just have been beaten or killed since he doesn’t “like” me the same way he “likes” SP. I told SP before to try saying “I don’t want to play like this,” but he refuses to take any part in stopping this. Am I being a blame-the-victim asshole? Maybe I should talk to Allmendinger and get his advice/help. He used to be a prisoner before becoming a counsellor. Of course, JF leaves Monday – the safest tactic for all is probably just wait him out.

Forgot to write yesterday that SP changed his sheets for the first time since we’ve been in SAU (that anyone had seen). The room made fun of that in unison but as he put the new sheet on, there was a huge blood and shit-colored stain (like a 5-6 inch radius one) in the center of the sheet that had been washed out a few times, but clearly still there. Now it has the large, washed-out blood+shit stain and today’s fresh blood stains.

Check from Optum Bank arrived finally, but it was only $848.56. I guess there is a substantial penalty for taking money out of an HSA account! Or else they did some fancy accounting to relieve me of the other $400-ish that should have been in the account. Rude bitch Bennet was like “sign it NYOW!” She is gross. I hate Nebraska and Nebraskans. If the arc of the universe truly bends toward justice, Susan Strong should have a real hellish nightmare coming.

Fri, 22 Jun 2018 [267 + 463]

Peaches and cream oatmeal from my oatmeal variety pack for breakfast. I hate oatmeal, but with a gob of peanut butter it’s a good alternative to food poisoning in the kitchen. And the peaches and cream is pretty damn good. Watching CNN and King of Queens. Every time I see that annoying-ass Haribo Gold candy commercial, I want to murder someone. See what living in Nebraska can do to a person? [PS In case I’m dead by the time anyone reads this, this was a joke. No murder, but maybe just a shank in the liver.] [PPS this commercial really is atrocious though] [PPPS I’m definitely going crazy.]

Relapse class was another video from FMS on some topic that I can’t even remember now. Whatever it was, it agitated KM. He started getting angry about the video, but we quickly it returned to his own situation. Even though we’re 4 months into a 6-month program, he’s become obsessed in the last two weeks about why they made him take this program at all. About two weeks ago, he asked me for help writing a grievance and then an IIR about why he thought they were treating him unfairly. I couldn’t make heads or tails what his logical argument was. He is dumb as a bag of hair. I told him to try the legal aid people – that they might understand his issues better (they get some compensation from talking people through their stupid ideas).

Anyway, he’s been harassing the SAU staff yelling and repeating his word salad of non-sequiturs and other incoherent ramblings. We heard one episode of it in room 4 yesterday between him and Graham. Then I saw him standing outside UCM Carroll’s office several times recently – no doubt he’s been assaulting her with this weapon of Stupid too. Today they kicked him out of the program. So he got part of what he wanted – out of the program, but not out of the recommendation, so he’s still on the hook for the program as far as the parole board is concerned.

Got pictures from mom yesterday. Been staring at them all day. I love the view – it’s magnificent! The brick looks really good as well. Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers to the Right book arrived.

On Monday, had the Employment Assistant class from MCC. Marji is the instructor. She is a two-time felon and along list of misdemeanors. She is very nice, but kind of crazy. I like her. She made me four copies of my resume. She was reading out words that are desirable qualities for employers. She didn’t really know them all herself, but had an answer key. But some of them were just wrong. Also I explained how the resumes are used in professional openings, at least. It’s a laid-back and fun class, but other than the copies of my resume and something different to get out of the bunk, probably won’t be terribly useful. Next week we’re going over cover letters and letters of recommendation. I can see how this would be very helpful for that average prisoner that doesn’t have a lot of work history.

Last class of this course is next Monday (the 25th of June). Then a four-week keyboarding class starting Tuesday, July 10th.

Skipped dinner at the E-Coli Corral. They were having meatballs on rice. 100% of the previous offerings of this atrocity, the rice was not all cooked. For every grain of rice that was cooked correctly, there were three that were CRUNCHY!. Whether the crunch came from lack of being cooked or because it was really some other substance with only the shape and color of rice, I couldn’t say without laboratory tools. The meatballs are usually gamey-tasting, like when you eat an animal that has been foraging in the woods or, Occam’s Razor, was regular beef that sat a week too long on the “Eat Today” bin at the local supermarket.

I did eat lunch there, foolishly. The fish was not the nuggets that we had been getting recently, which are decent. Those have evidence of a bit of actual fish. Instead it was the square grease patty type, where if you cut them and view a cross section, you can see the thick outer layers of fried grease and then an approximately 1-mm thick white paste that is allegedly fish product. If we assume that’s true, it doesn’t matter because after you peel off the fried grease layer to discard, the 1mm of alleged protein has been lost to the separation process. I am thankful that I had left money with mom and that they are willing and have the means to help me with money if/when that runs out. I can’t imagine being dependent on the “food” they provide here for nutrition. This food is certainly Cruel and Unusual, but we don’t pay attention to those old words anymore. The mac and cheese was edible, but dubious nutritional value. The tarter sauce packet had an expiration date of 28 May 2018. Usually the tartar sauce is in a big tote that we scoop out of so that no one but the kitchen staff knows how expired it is.

Humor for my first Facebook post when I get out: “I’m baaaaack! Mixed news from “reprogramming” in Nebraska. They didn’t cure my love for meth, but I am now straight, Republican, and hate everyone who doesn’t look just like me.” (I guess those last two are redundant.)

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 [268 + 462]

Another black kid, Antwon Rose, executed by East Pittsburgh police; an 18yo honor student shot in the back as he ran from the sociopathic cops. [Editor’s Note: Michael Rosfeld was the officer who murdered Rose. He was not held accountable.] The nation is in severe denial about it’s addiction to guns and murder.

Had breakfast with KM. He sat next to me and I pretended to not know that he had been kicked out yesterday; mostly because I didn’t want to listen to his stupidity. Too bad! I had to listen to it anyway. One thing I did hear from him that was new was that he had knowledge that we had to take responsibility for our “crime”. I have some great ideas about that.

Forgot to mention Friday that I caught Allmendinger about the handouts for the assignments. Since he skipped our June 12 appointment, I am now behind. He said “don’t worry about it”. What a goddamn incompetent boob.

Sarah Sanders kicked out of a Virginia restaurant for being part of the Trump administration. Ha. That is hilarious. Guess the owner had a strongly-held religious belief about performing services for evil people. Last week, Kirstjen Nielsen booed at a Mexican restaurant. That’s great. The Sarah Sanders restaurant was “The Red Hen”. It’s funny how they wring their hands about how uncivil our society has become and we need to learn to live together and be civil. These are people who have built up a civil war for the last 50 years – the Drug War. They murder, cage, and otherwise ruin lives in order to disenfranchise and make money from the misery of their poor and black people and political minorities and then cry about how about uncivil society has become if they’re booed or kicked out of a fancy restaurant.

This room is full of deviants. G(AT) is a stone-cold sociopath. He’s described on many occasions beating woman just for the fun of it, getting them addicted to various drugs so he can make money off them, and abusing them physically and sexually. He has discussed killing people for fun or to steal from them. Once or twice, you could believe it was just prison puffery, but he says this stuff every day. He is also a narcissist of the worst kind.

Even JH has some creepy stories: like tonight he talked about driving around with the guy called H (who was on this unit until like a month ago) and shooting people who didn’t have something they could rob from them. One, apparently, was a basketball player who they later laughed at when he came back and said they had shot his leg and ended his basketball options.

Today JF drew two dicks on SP’s back while he was asleep. When SP woke up, he drew one on JF’s pillow. Then while we were at dinner, JF drew a whole bunch of them all over SP’s state sheets – ruined them for good. He then threatened to “knock out SP’s last two teeth” if SP retaliated. There was another threat of some “going away” violence for SP’s tomorrow (JF leaves Monday thankfully).

Few other technologies are judged by their worst-case use. What if we judged guns or dynamite or airplanes or Viagra or lube or politics or automobiles or nicotine, etc. by their worst-case use, like we do recreational drugs?

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 [269 + 461]

Slept in until 845. Love Sunday morning CNN – Jake, Fareed, and Brian Stelter. Replied to an email from B. Downtown Abbey today at 3pm and Pose at 8pm on FX.

George Takei on Reliable Sources comparing Trump’s Internment Camps to the 1940s American Internment Camps for Americans with Japanese ancestry.

Today’s “chicken sausage” came with a posted warning “may contain some pork by-product”. WTF!?!? Nebraskans are filth.

Seems like there is a rash of similar medical issues in here. cysts (AT on his neck, CT on his left hand) and lots of stomach/gastrointestinal issues (cramps, puking, diarrhea, etc.). Need to gather more data.

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 [270 + 460]

Large Group – listened to the sociopath in the orange shorts talk for 45 minutes about his daughter and her mother and how he got custody. That had to be a judge with no common sense – wonder if it was Susan Strong. I guess Nebraskans with no common sense is the norm. He talked about how spiteful the “baby mama” is/was and how he was learning lessons here, but didn’t mention at any point why he wanted custody of his daughter (i.e. that he loved her or that is custody of her would be in some way good for her…) or that he’s actually still doing drugs here in the SAU program and hangs around the most sociopathic person that I’ve ever encountered in my time on this Earth: AT.

27 scaramuccis down, 46 to go!

The dayroom, breakfast sink, clean water tap, and the microwave are all closed from 8-9am and again in the afternoon for “cleaning” even though there is no one cleaning it, except for about 15 minutes, once a day. Just Nebraska miserableness.

Melania Trump is one useless bitch. Just a mindless womb for Satan’s offspring.

Allmendinger wants to have individual treatment after Resident’s Council on Wed.

Last day of Criminal & Addictive Stupidity class! Hallelujah!

Walgreens pharmacist denies a women miscarriage medication to expel a dead fetus instead her because of the pharmacist’s religious beliefs. [Editor’s note: the misogynistic, fascist Walgreen’s pharmacist was: Brian Hreniuc. It is legal in Arizona for a pharmacist to deny a woman a legally prescribed drug].

More for the chapter on hypocrisy. Today’s video was on tactics, including the tactic of deceit. The viewing of the video was sponsored by the State of Nebraska, which regularly uses deceit, e.g. having an unreasonable search during a stop for a deceitfully labeled “seatbelt education checkpoint”. The cop (Brabec) couldn’t even keep a straight face while he said he was there to check that we were wearing our seatbelt. Then the State of Nebraska procures Midazolam (a murder drug) for non-therapeutic purposes; in fact they were planning to use it for Anti-Life (death penalty) purposes.

Criminal and Addictive Thinking is finally over! They fail to ever address the values/intent defects or the other structural issues that lead people to crime, so all they really do is make better criminals (and irritate the non-criminal captives). The ones who know the vocabulary and concepts can do a better job of concealing the signs of them in future crimes and legal proceedings.

Criticisms of CAT

(1) This material seems to be oriented exclusively toward people who were both real criminals (real, being an offense against the life, liberty, property of another or failing to fulfill your obligations to society) and addicts as opposed to people whose only “crime” is/was addiction or drug use.

(2) The material after page 70 initially started making me feel terrible, depressed even. Really depressed. It does a great job of making normal thinking fall into their distorted framework. This framework fails to account for its own use of the supposed negative thinking “techniques” and like all manipulations, it creates a safe-guard against such criticism of itself by declaring any challenge to it or identification of model bias or weakness as “denial”, the worst sin of all in such frameworks. This framework lacks the characteristic of refutability and thus belongs in the same class as opinion and religion.

(3) Whenever a prominent political figure is charged with a crime that his/her tribe considered trivial or the investigation of, was considered partisan, the statistic frequently comes up that the average American commits like three felonies every day, week, month, … (not sure what the time period of it is, but the point remains the same regardless). (Also, not sure of the source of this claim or its credibility, but it’s frequently tossed around by both sides of the political fence). But the average American is simply not under the crosshairs of the police and prosecutors. People who are: politicians, the decadently wealthy, minorities, immigrants, drug users, and others who live at the edges of the normal curve. If the statistic is true, one could just as easily draw the conclusion that any greater criminality uncovered in these groups is due to their above-average time being surveilled as opposed to being intrinsically more criminal by essence. Conversely, I met a lot of people while using drugs who fall into the center of the normal curve of behaviors and social tribes, who do drugs and commit no other crime (any real crime). An anecdotal example being the Wall Street tycoons famous for having a pocket full of powder cocaine who is NEVER stopped-and-frisked rising out of the subway stop while young black men are. Even if the Wall Street tycoon was caught, there is a 0% change one would be charged and go to prison.

(4) Modern medical practitioners agree in considerable numbers that a substance use disorder is a form of mental illness that is not coterminous with criminality and treating it as if it were is deleterious to treatment.

(5) Behavioral therapy alone lacks recognition, addressing of non-cognitive processes: values or impulses

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 [271 + 459]

JF is leaving today (now). Woke up to JH saying “damn… got a creep moving in downstairs” (the bunk below his) because he thought he knew who was taking JF’s spot.

Harley Davidson moving some production to Europe due to Trump’s tariffs. Magnum Nail in MN due to go out of business by Labor Day because of the Trump tariffs (Mid Continent Nail Corp). Tariffs = taxes (once said by Larry Kudlow, now a trump-toady).

Phase II over – hallelujah! Ended it with a stupid video. There was a video of a female cop chasing two purse snatchers. Like that was realistic. Real cops would just shoot them in the back.

Supreme Court upholds Muslim ban. Sad day for a one-democracy.

Sent IIRs: (1) Requested refills of [medication] and [medication], (2) education – asked if any chance of doing some self-study courses at edx.org (highly unlikely, but I have nothing else to do but ask), (3) inmate accounting – how do I send money out of the prison to my mom.

More anti-social, psychotic stuff from AT. He talked about wanting to “scam everything” when he got out: credit cards, Walmarts, bars, etc. Then the conversation turned to kidnapping supermodels and selling them on the Internet and mailing them in a duffle bag. He needs to stay in prison – forever. He is a stone-cold Nebraskan piece of shit. I wonder if he could be Susan Strong’s offspring/relative? Can’t be… he wouldn’t be in prison then; there is no accountability for friends and family of corrupt judges.

Wed, 27 Jun 2018 [272 + 458]

Busy morning. Was going to go to breakfast, but sort of woke up and heard it was just those nasty breakfast burritos, so just went back to sleep. Went to Resident’s Council at 8am and then individual treatment at 810am. Went pretty fast: I read the 3.3 answers and we talked a bit about it. He said he was marking me down as having a “good” chance of staying off drugs; he usually only gives “fair”. I am not intention of staying off of them. I will be more moderate than I had been in 2016 – that was excessive and unhealthy.

I also gave him some of my opinions about the quality of the program supervision, i.e. Bless’s public criticizing and gender-based ad hominem attacks. He kind of shook his head and clearly understood what I meant and seemed to agree; at least, it seemed so from his non-verbals. Funny thing: there was a guy at Community Meeting at 10am that turned out to be a supervisor from the main office here to be temporary supervisor. Guess they know what a shit-show Bless and Fairgood are. Fairgood was not here at all and Bless as fake as hell (e.g. nice and respectful).

The shirts that I ordered two weeks ago arrived today. CT has been looking like a snack all day long. Prison glossary: “looking like a snack” idiom. – sexually exciting. Our new roommate is supposedly another AT. God damn! Another MS-13 douche.

Today I mourn the death of our democratic-republic. Kennedy retires from the Supreme Court so Dumpster Fire will get a second pick and all hope is lost. Plus the Democrats are imploding, so no one with any seriousness exists to challenge the authoritarian scourge.

[Redacted: removed a paragraph on results detail and commentary on various blood and urine lab tests.]

Thu, 28 Jun 2018 [273 + 457]

Large Group – boring – two life stories. Took a nap after until 11am.

At yesterday’s canteen they gave me a regular tuna instead of the one in Thai chili sauce. At first when I noticed it when I got back, I was pissed off, but I thought about making a tuna wrap – and I did and it was good. I think I’ll start ordering tuna of both kinds every week.

Yesterday Pat from canteen was all pissy because of a conflict with an inmate. He is such a big baby – and probably the third pettiest person in this prison (#1 being Charrlin). Talked to DP – good call, not too much in the way of news. He did mention that Kroger was going to try self-driving cars for home delivery. O Brave New World!

Checked out that 12 Great Philosophers book. It looks really good and I didn’t have much time with it last time.

Fri, 29 Jun 2018 [274 + 456]

Plato: a world of particular things accessible via the physical senses and a world of Ideas and Forms accessible through the mind/reason.

AR has been talking all day about how they cut his psych medication back. They needed to have doubled it – he’s been more psychotic than normal. He’s increased his inappropriate outbursts and yelling and noise-making.

Our new room is a bona-fide racist. Must be a Trump supporters too, I guess.

Got a new schedule for the last two months of this torture program. Watching the bi-monthly movie: Game Night with Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner. The rude bitch Bonnet is quitting in seven days to move back to Idaho. Asshat/asshole Strode takes a demotion to Activities and Recreation coordinator – which in prison means he watches and terrorized people who try to use the gym. JH says Strode used to be on the Omaha gang unit.

Made carnitas burritos with SP and JH. One was plenty, but made two each. MMMmmmm… American Ninja Warriors LA. Hot guys!

Sat, 30 Jun 2018 [275 + 455]

Wrote several pages for the book on how imprisonment is an act of supreme violence perpetuated by the most sociopathic/abusive bullies in society. I’m coining the term ‘The Bully State’ as an alternative view of the lost liberty motif that right-winger’s call ‘The Nanny State’. Might rename the book to this too: The Bully State: Tales and Musings of Captivity in the Prison Called Nebraska.

Replied to JH, KP, TF on email. Also sent an email to AH and TH.

Severe thunderstorm warning here and lots of clouds on TV that look like funnel clouds. God, I hope they come down and tear up this cesspool of a state. Or an early Christmas present – one right through Susan Strong’s evil cave.

Another month down – 9 so far and 15 to go. June went by fast – hopefully July and August go by just as fast.

Had dinner with RS. He is on his last month in here. He is planning to go to CCCO as well. He said he used to be an accountant, but wasn’t planning on working in that field at work release. He mentioned he had some list of companies in Omaha that hired people with felonies. I am going to write to Reentry to ask if they have such a list and also about the medicine.

Got a reply from KP and TH. TH’s was a nice long letter!